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Stahp Touching Meeeee!

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  • Stahp Touching Meeeee!

    No Touchy! NOOOO TOUCHY!
    Seriously, what is up with my patients lately? Several of them have thought it's ok to lay a hand on my shoulder like we're buds or something. YOU ARE ALL SICK PEOPLE AND I DO NOT WANT YOUR GERMS! STAHP IT!

    One guy wanted to go out and get some air. Now we have a door to outside literally right next to ours. Problem is you can't get back in. But I'm right here to let him back in. Well I'd been told by the floor that the pt was extremely non-compliant and had been getting food from the vending machine (which is probably why his glucose was stupidly high) so I really didn't want him wandering around. Aside from that, I was by myself and it's my responsibility to keep track of him while he's in my department.

    But he's apparently claustrophobic sitting in the middle of a hallway and reeeeaaaalllllyyyyyy needs to get some air.

    Then my coworker gets in and before I can tell her what's what, she agrees that he can step out for some air (and by "some air" they generally want to go smoke). And you know how when your buddy does something dumb and you give him that little smack with the back of your knuckles? Guess what Mr Fresh Air did. Complete with that little smirk since he got his way. Quite frankly he's lucky he didn't get beaned with the (empty) food tray I happened to be carrying at the time.

    If you'd'a told me, I could have fixed it
    Got called in for a GI bleed scan. Not long after I clocked (back) in and got everything set up for that, the floor called and wanted a lung scan. Super. Now the bosses have been on this kick lately to make sure our patients know we're "listening" to them. And we have to use that word. Something about patient satisfaction scores or some such which I'll rant more about shortly.

    So anywho, I of course get both patients at the same time. And since it's a callback, I'm there alone. So I draw Mr GI Bleed's blood to tag and in the meantime try to get Ms Lung Scan done. I specifically told Mr GI Bleed that I was going to be in the back starting another patient, but if he needed anything I'd hear him. I also asked him repeatedly if he was warm enough. The PTBs tend to keep our department a few degrees warmer than absolute zero, so most people want a blanket. He kept insisting he was fine.

    Now our GI Bleed protocol is a solid two hours of imaging. Bleeds can be intermittent after all. Luckily (?) for him, his scan was positive after one hour. So he was there less time than I quoted him, even with the half hour I spent trying to get ahold of a radiologist. And I took him to the bathroom twice and took him back up to his room because transport was taking too long. All the while letting him know when I had to grab something from another room, that I'd be right back, asking if he was warm enough, and juggling the demon possessed scanner for Ms Lung Scan.

    Come to find out a few days later that Mr GI Bleed complained that he was cold and that I left him out in the hall forever. If he'd asked for another blanket, I would have given him one. Wait times I can't really do anything about. It takes as long as it's going to take and I can't fudge it. Not for a bleed.

    That's nice. But I can't do anything about it
    Mr Fresh Air also spent an inordinate amount of time complaining about abdominal pain. And being overly whiny about it. Now, I don't doubt that his stomach hurt. In fact, that was why we were doing the exam. There's just two things wrong: firstly, pain meds will interfere with our test and secondly, I do not have the letters RN or MD after my name, so I don't have access to the good drugs. There is literally nothing I can do about it other than offer a sympathetic ear and even that was wearing thin with Mr Fresh Air because I was still contemplating whacking him with that tray.

    Can't really do anything about that either
    Last quarter's patient satisfaction scores are in. Hooray. *waves sarcasm flag* In general ours were pretty good. But we scored really crappy in a few areas. Things like wait times, "listening" to pts, communicating delays, and explaining exams. That last one I call BS. We all explain in great detail what we're doing and we repeat it along the way. The problem is people don't listen, don't understand and a lot of them don't bother to either. And we're always going to get dinged on wait times. It's the nature of the modality. We're relying on the body's natural processes and that takes time. And if we communicated every time the NPs took forever to call us back or when we can't get ahold of a rad, we'd never get any work done. We're generally pretty good about letting pts know when things get REALLY backed up. Yet those things are our fault on surveys. And just because we're not looking at you doesn't mean we're not listening. We're probably scribbling down the ten thousand things you've told us about your medical history.

    Registration got dinged, too, which doesn't shock me because a few of them are idiots and those are the ones who seem to always be working. I've seen it take over an hour to get someone registered and brought up to radiology. And we generally don't get any communication about what's going on. Sometimes it's a problem with the order or there is no order. Which would be nice to know about since it's going to be our fault anyway.
    I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

  • #2
    I have never complained about wait times in clinics or ERs or whatever. It takes as long as it takes. I know that going in. All I want is for my medical issue to be addressed. I don't care if it's cold or I have to be exposed or a needle stuck in me. I want a diagnosis and advice. That's why I'm there. It's a medical facility, not a spa.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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    • #3
      Perhaps you need Jack Nicholson to run the hospital.

      "I run hospitals, not health spas..."
      My Guide to Oblivion

      "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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      • #4
        I really cant stand people thinking its ok to touch me, or pet me or hug me without permission. When I had hair, people would attempt to stroke that too.

        It made me giggle when I saw that Pa, the state i live in, it is illegal to touch a pregnant womans belly without her permission for. Its silly that we need that law, but you shouldnt touch other people without permission or without a very good reason. (like the Heimlick Manuever).

        I feel your pain, JM. We also have the patient satisfaction scores that we get pummeled with and etc. Its insane the stuff thats written on the surveys. Like things that could have been fixed if someone had known, or things that staff have no control over.

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        • #5
          I have a colleague at uni that does not like people touching her (She has Aspergers).

          The death look she gave my classmate when he reached over to touch her the first time was seen around the university. We've all been careful since. (and get your minds out of the gutter, he likes to give people a pat on the shoulder )
          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

          Now queen of USSR-Land...

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          • #6
            Probably my number one SC pet peeve - them being smug about getting their way when I've followed procedure and someone else undermines me. (Insert grimmest emoticon you know of here.)

            jedi, you should start bumping up those estimates.

            "Blood draw? About six hours."
            "What? it only took two? Wow, lucky you."

            "Scans typically take all day start to finish ma'am...."
            "Goodness! Done already? You must be their favorite patient."

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            • #7
              I'm a doctor, Jim, not a concierge!
              Seshat's self-help guide:
              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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              • #8
                Quoth Amina516 View Post
                It made me giggle when I saw that Pa, the state i live in, it is illegal to touch a pregnant womans belly without her permission for.
                OT-Yay! i'm now closer to nurse knockers! Another benefit to moving to New Jersey! (I'm across the river from Philly-I could see it if the refineries weren't blocking the view)
                Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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                • #9
                  Quoth fireheart View Post
                  I have a colleague at uni that does not like people touching her (She has Aspergers).
                  I'm the same way about people touching me, although I don't know if I have Aspergers or not, so I don't know if it's due to that. There are only a handful of people I don't mind touching me, and of that small group, only a couple of them are non-family members. Otherwise, hands off.

                  It even bothers me when someone accidentally brushes their hand or finger against my hand when handing me money for their purchase or taking their change. I know it's not their fault so I don't say anything, but I still tense up and feel uncomfortable when it happens.

                  If I had someone deliberately pawing at me like they do you, jedi, I'd tell them firmly (but politely) to back off. I wouldn't be able to handle them acting all buddy-buddy with me.
                  my favourite author is neil gaiman. - me
                  it is? I don't like potatoes much. - the chatbot I was talking to

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                  • #10
                    I have a fair amount of chronic pain, so I tend to be hypersensitive and even a light touch can be painful to me. My goddaughters learned when very young not to run up and jump on me or to grab on me without asking first.

                    I love the SCA and the sf/fantasy con folk, but the habit of running up and hugging or instant massaging of the neck and shoulders is purgatorial. I am trying to figure out a wheelchair friendly hall costume that would work at dissuading people from touching me from the back or sides. I wish I could have a Haut bubble float chair! I am thinking something like a delicate wire frame supporting starched white sheer fabric salvaged from a set of drapery sheers and a used power chair. Maybe a hoveround, they seem to have the smallest base and turning radius. Take off the chair portion and pop on a monocoque seat.
                    EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Miss Maple Leaf View Post
                      I'm the same way about people touching me, although I don't know if I have Aspergers or not, so I don't know if it's due to that. There are only a handful of people I don't mind touching me, and of that small group, only a couple of them are non-family members. Otherwise, hands off..
                      She made it fairly clear to us that it's BECAUSE of the Aspergers that she doesn't do physical contact full-stop. It's one of the reasons why she likes laser tag so much.

                      As for me, I generally do not like random people touching me. People I know? Fine. Random lady in the checkout line? Hands off. Creepy guy staring down my top? Prepare yourself for an ass kicking. (yes, I am quite large in that department!)
                      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                      Now queen of USSR-Land...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Miss Maple Leaf View Post
                        I'm the same way about people touching me, although I don't know if I have Aspergers or not, so I don't know if it's due to that. There are only a handful of people I don't mind touching me, and of that small group, only a couple of them are non-family members. Otherwise, hands off.
                        I have Aspergers, and I do not like to be touched. I can tolerate it in low doses, but it takes a lot of concentration not to freak out. Even my closest friends can still make me tense right up. It makes me very, very uncomfortable. I have to work myself up to it with family because I want to show them how much I really do care.
                        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                        • #13
                          One of my nephews is high-functioning autistic and unless it's an issue of safety or behavior (he's 7, so sometime you do need to grab him to stop him from doing something or other), we let him initiate physical contact. He used to hate hugging. The only person you'd ever see him hug was his mom. Now, he'll hug family members as a greeting or to say good-bye and it brought tears to my eyes the first time he wanted to hug me.
                          Don't wanna; not gonna.

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                          • #14
                            Yeah, this sounds familiar.

                            I don't like being touched either. My wife, my kids, my mom, my sister, my chiropractor, are allowed. Everyone else, hands off. I don't even care for shaking hands, especially women's hands (I know that sounds sexist, but I can't help it); I can do it, but I have to nerve myself up to it.

                            I used to say I had Aspergers', but there are a few behaviours that don't fit. E.g., I like to do some things, like driving to work or elsewhere, a different way each time, which seems to be opposite to Aspergers'. (I'm almost certainly on the spectrum somewhere, though. PDD/NOS, maybe).

                            My son (almost 7) also really doesn't like hugs; he's possibly PDD/NOS as well, so that's not altogether surprising. (2 of 5 neurologists came up with that diagnosis; the other 3 said ADHD. My personal guess is, it's both.)

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                            • #15
                              Another Aspergers diagnoses here as well. I'm also completely hands off and shy away when touched (especially if I don't see it coming). The only people I feel comfortable being anywhere near proximity are the wife and kids, her parents/brother, my parents/sister. That's it. I had a southern belle type coworker that was overly touchy feely... and I hated it. She'd come up behind you and start to massage your neck or shoulders, and had to reach out and and touch your arm when talking.
                              But the paint on me is beginning to dry
                              And it's not what I wanted to be
                              The weight on me
                              Is Hanging on to a weary angel - Sister Hazel

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