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The Joy of Punctuation

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  • The Joy of Punctuation

    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
    Jane

    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
    Yours,
    Jane
    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

  • #2
    Amazing what a few shifts in punctuation can do...

    People on the internets would be wise to learn this...
    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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    • #3
      That's actually pretty neat.
      "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

      I belly dance with tall Goblins!

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      • #4
        this illustrates the point much much better than

        "Lets eat, Grandpa!" vs. "Lets eat Grandpa!"
        Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

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        • #5
          Quoth shankyknitter View Post
          this illustrates the point much much better than

          "Lets eat, Grandpa!" vs. "Lets eat Grandpa!"
          ...or a Panda that eats, shoots and leaves.
          Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

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          • #6
            Hmmnph. And I always thought the most important punctuation was the period.







            You're not a parent!
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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            • #7
              I suppose you could say:

              The result of a missing period is apparent.
              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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              • #8
                The chairman of the school board visited a classroom when the teacher was giving a lesson on punctuation. He told the teacher that there were more important things to teach, and that punctuation was a waste of the class' time. The teacher called little Johnny to the front of the room.

                "Johnny, write on the blackboard 'The chairman of the school board says the teacher is wasting the student's time'"

                Johnny writes it.

                "Now put a comma after 'board' and another after 'teacher'"
                Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                • #9
                  Speaking of...

                  I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                  I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                  It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                    Darn, I was just about to post that example!
                    "I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

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                    • #11
                      When I was but a wee drizzle, I was told to punctuate the following;

                      Woman without her man is nothing

                      Now, just slapping a period on the end was technically correct, but resulted in getting stuffed animals thrown at you.

                      The correct answer, I was told, was:

                      Woman? Without her, man is nothing!
                      Flood

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