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Don't poop where you drink. Or swim. Or fish.

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  • Don't poop where you drink. Or swim. Or fish.

    A couple of my customers are attempting to buy a lakefront cabin, but the seller and the seller’s realtor are doing some questionable things.

    The property includes about 100 feet of lakefront, with a dock, a boathouse, a two-room cabin, and an outhouse. It’s been on the market for about two months. In that two months, the seller has dropped the asking price twice, from $105,000 to $95,000, and now to $75,000. When it reached $75,000, my customers decided they wanted it and agreed to pay the $75,000.

    I took the application and sent a pre-qualification letter to the realtor. The customers went the next day to sign the purchase agreement. They told me afterwards that, although they signed the purchase agreement and put down a deposit, there was no well or septic disclosure. The realtor relayed to them that the outhouse may just be a hole in the ground. Normally, there would be a holding tank. And since it’s 50 feet or less from the lake, that’s a huge issue. (That’s also ignoring the fact that there’s a well on the property, too.)

    In our county, any property sale that has a septic system on it has to be inspected before it can be sold. If the system is non-compliant, the seller has to pay to get it upgraded, either before the sale or by setting the money aside in escrow with the title company. The amount escrowed is typically 120% of the estimate for repair. And again, this is the seller’s responsibility.

    The well could be another issue here. The seller said the wellwater hasn’t been tested and isn’t intended to be used for drinking. I don’t think there’s a requirement that the water be tested, but the realtor should know. (He should know about the requirement for the septic to be inspected, too, but the buyer had to find out from me and the county website.) The buyers don’t consider this as much of an issue since they don’t intend to use the well water for drinking.

    The current issue is that the realtor emailed an updated page from the purchase agreement to the buyers along with the well and septic disclosure pages, and they’re contradicting each other. The PA page says there’s no well or septic and that there’s no addendums to the PA. But the well disclosure says there is a well, but it hasn’t been tested. And the septic disclosure simply says “NA”, which is inaccurate.

    I encouraged the buyers to go back to the realtor and say that the PA needs to be corrected. My bank won’t accept a contradictory purchase agreement, and neither will the title company.

    My customers told me the realtor is leaving, so he may be attempting to push the sale through as quick as possible so he can get the commission before he leaves. That would be fine - we'd be willing to get to closing as fast as possible - but we need all the correct documentation in order to do so.

    I hope this doesn’t cause the purchase to fall through. If nothing else, it will delay things.
    "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
    -Mira Furlan

  • #2
    Wow, it's literal poop. I was certain it would be figurative, like pissing off someone that you need to help you. Or something. Anyway, to live where $75,000 gets you anything would be nice.
    Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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    • #3
      Yes, it's literal poop.

      The realtor just called me, hoping I could smooth things over with the buyers. He blamed a coworker for not getting the well and septic disclosures done. He verified that the outhouse is just an open pit (which, as I mentioned, is within 50 feet of the waterline). It hasn't been inspected. The seller is willing to get a holding tank installed and have it inspected.

      He says he'll email me a copy of the well and septic disclosures, now that they're done, along with the rest of the purchase agreement.

      Overall, I'm not impressed by this guy. He was practically begging me to convince my customers to buy this place. He sounded like a certain orange-skinned kleptocrat when he described how great the property was. I didn't let him snow me, though. I said I want the customers to buy the place, but I need to make sure everything's in order, first.

      I suppose I'll have to go over the stuff he's going to email me, then check with my customers to see if they're ok with the terms. Then maybe I can proceed with ordering title work and so forth.

      ETA: And then he called me by the wrong name in the email. Same initial, wrong name.
      Last edited by Ghel; 06-15-2017, 09:07 PM.
      "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
      -Mira Furlan

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      • #4
        But the *fish* swim and poop and **** in it!
        Last edited by dalesys; 06-15-2017, 10:33 PM.
        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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        • #5
          Quoth Ghel View Post

          ETA: And then he called me by the wrong name in the email. Same initial, wrong name.
          Oh you mean this isn't you then...and yet the similarities...are...there...
          The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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          • #6
            We have an acceptable purchase agreement now. It says, in writing, that the sellers will have the septic inspected within 21 days (so before the closing). An email from the realtor (who got my name wrong again, despite it being on my emails) says that the seller is willing to either update the outhouse to a vaulted privy, which is what the county prefers, or escrow for the update.

            Assuming that all goes as planned, it shouldn't prevent the sale or delay the closing.

            I'm still not impressed with the realtor, though. My customers were saying that he was pushy, especially when they refused to sign the purchase agreement because it was incorrect. He said he would put it back on the market, and Mr. Customer said to go ahead, just give him his deposit back. Then the realtor backpedaled.
            "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
            -Mira Furlan

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            • #7
              Hmmm. Is the realtor leaving or is he being asked to leave? I bet the company doesn't want him. He sounds pretty incompetent.

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              • #8
                I'm not sure. My customers were pretty vague when they relayed it to me.
                "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                -Mira Furlan

                Comment


                • #9
                  A sort-of anticlimactic update: The sellers got the new privy installed under the outhouse, and the loan closed. Sounds like it will be a better situation for the buyers and their grandkids, who are planning to swim in that lake. I still wouldn't use the well for much of anything, including washing dishes. Or I'd boil the heck out of the water first. But maybe that's just me?
                  "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                  -Mira Furlan

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I think I would compromise and get the well water tested. Might as well find out.

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