There's an epidemic of deafness going around....An epidemic.Of deafness.Going around

[Kit-Ginevra]

Sheesh.That's twice in as many days now...

Me:I'll take the paracetamol...
Them:I can't sell you the aspirin.
Me:That's alright,I'll have the paracetamol then...
Them:I'm sorry I can't sell you the aspirin.
Me:Then I'll have the paracetamol.
Then:I can't sell you the aspirin if it's for a child.
Me:That's why I'm taking the paracetamol

*forcible use of aspirin as a suppository was very close to being performed*

Next day
Me:I want a bacon and omelette roll with ketchup.
Themid you want bacon or sausage?
Me:Bacon and omelette.With ketchup.
Them:What did you want with the bacon?
Me:Omelette.With ketchup.
Them:And what sauce did you want?
Me:Ketchup

*forcible use of ketchup bottle in a way the makers never intended it was very close to being performed*

And it's catching.At the shop today...

Customer:So which items are on sale?
CW:All the ones on this rack.If it's got a red spot,it's on sale.
Customer:So if it's on this rack,it's for sale.
CW:Yes
Customer:What about all the other things in the shop?
CW:They're not for sale.Only the items with red spots on.
Customer:So if it doesn't have a red spot on,it's not in the sale.
(repeat several times) until
CW:Red spot-half price.No red spot-no half price.
Customer:I still don't understand...

*forcible insertion of red spotted label in an unsuitable manner was very close to being performed*

[Jay 2K Winger]

Eh? Speak up, I didn't catch that?

[Pixelated]

Did somebody say something?

[Kit-Ginevra]

Deaf old bats

[dalesys]

Deaf old bats

Speak up, whippersnapper! I can still snap my whip over you!

[Pixelated]

Don't make me come over there and hit you with my cane ...

[Slave to the Phone]

*wonders if Dalesys really thought about what was typed...*

[protege]

I'm sure there was plenty of thought put into that comment

[dalesys]

... really thought about ...

At my age, thinking hard is the only part that doesn't hurt.