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Because I keep meaning to do this and then forgetting.
Let Me Fix That For You
So for the last three weeks before Christmas we always had at least one of our self service tills on 'card only'. To do this we put a big sign in red letters on the top of the monitors, and a second one right across where you put your cash in.
You can literally see these from across the store. That is, unless you're a customer, apparently, because if I had a pound for every time I had to go over and void someone's sale because they'd only realised it was card only when they went to put cash in, I'd probably double my wages.
But hey, we all have bad days, right, and it's hard to keep on track of things, so no suck there.
What is suck, however, is this:
Me: *darting over to see what the red light's on for* Hey, is everything all right there?
SC: Is this card only?!
Me: *sigh* Yes, sorry about that. Let me void this off for you and we'll get you set up on anoth--
SC: No! Why isn't it working? This is ridiculous!
Me: All of the other tills are working fine, so if you want to pay with cash I can--
SC: I should be able to pay how and where I want to! *snatches bag and storms off to pay at one of the other tills*
Actually, I Prefer Tea, But Thanks
I've had to step in to distract people from my female coworkers before, but this was the first time I had to have one come in and save me.
My company sets a high standard for customer care (we keep it above everything else), and we have all of this training about "legendary" care, which I always keep in mind. Plus, I actually like helping people it makes me feel good. So about a week before Christmas there was a gentleman looking a tad lost and I stepped in to help him.
I can't remember exactly how the conversation went, but I was being friendly, I found him one item, and then we went on a hunt for another. This isn't unusual, a week or so before I took another man around the store and found him everything he needed because he was in a rush and wanted out. And it started off friendly enough, I was joking about being a personal shopper, and he was laughing along.
And then it got creepy and I can't explain what it was that set me on edge, but he was getting into my personal space.
Creepy Customer: Oh, what's your name.
Me: ...Earl.
CC: Earl? I wish I could take you for coffee, Earl.
Me: A-ahaha, I don't really... um. Probably a bad idea.
CC: Are you sure? I really want to take you for coffee
Me: Yes. Let's find that other item, what did you say you were after?
And he then spent the rest of the conversation asking personal questions while I tried to move the conversation on (and then eventually got saved by one of the healthcare girls).
I have a boyfriend - being hit on by a guy isn't new. Being hit on by a guy easily twice my age at work (and bearing in mind I still get ID'd for alcohol all the time) is really not my idea of a fun time though.
And I really do prefer tea.
Gotta Pee! (In ten minutes or so)
So, on the run up to christmas we had lots of late nights where there would be easily 10-15 of us and maybe 5 customers in the store. Not a problem, it gave us time to clean up and get everything sorted for the next day.
One of these nights, I was approached by a pregnant "lady" (PL) and her mum (M).
PL: Hey, can I use your loo?
For some reason everyone thinks we have a loo. I'm not sure why, because I have never been in one of our stores that has one, and the one I work in atm is the flagship one for the county and we don't have one. Our stores don't have loos. But everyone thinks they do.
Me: I'm sorry, we don't have one. Marks and Sparks do - oh, but they'll be closed. Um. There's probably one in Mcdonalds?
PL: Actually I meant your staff loo.
Me: ...
PL: Last time I was pregnant they let me use it!
Now, let me explain the layout of our store. We have three layers: the basement, where our delivery comes in, the shop floor, and the top floor which is where the staff locker rooms are and the only loos in the building, but is also where the stock room is. Letting customers up there is a double risk: not only are they up with the stock room, letting her use the loos would also mean letting her into the ladies locker room, and if they're anything like us their stuff will be all over the place.
Me: Um, actually, our staff loos are upstairs, which is where our stock room is, so there's really no way that we could let customers up there.
M: I think that's just rude!
PL: Last time I was allowed! And this time I'm having problems with my pregnancy and I really, really need to go!
Aaaand at this point I was even more awkward than I was with Creepy Customer above because Pregnant Ladies are really not my area of expertise. And like I said before, our store has a thing for Legendary care and I don't want to fall foul of that.
Me: I really don't think you'll be allowed, but I can ask a manager if you'd like.
M: Do that!
Me: Okay, but I think it'd be quicker for you to go somewhere else.
So I run off to find my manager, who's serving someone else. And by the time he's finished and I explain what's going on, it's been at least five minutes, maybe closer to ten. And then he agrees with me, but because she's pregnant and he doesn't want to get in trouble if anything goes wrong, says that we'll let her if a female member of staff escorts her. So then I run off to find one of the girls, and by the time we've managed that and found her again, it's at least ten minutes. Ten minutes during which by the look of their basket they've been happily strolling around browsing.
Manager: Hi. We can't really let her upstairs because of our insurance--
M: Well I think that's disgraceful!
PL: I was allowed to last time and I've had complications this time! (By this time she was starting to sound like a stuck record).
Manager: Well, because she's pregnant this time we'll let her go this time, but she needs to be escorted by a member of staff because--
PL: This is ridiculous!
M: She's pregnant!
Manager: I know but--
PL: Actually, I don't even need to go that bad, but it's still not fair!
And then they carried on shopping for another twenty minutes before finally leaving!
I want to say that she was trying to get upstairs for some stupid reason, but she was heavily pregnant so I don't even know. Maybe she was just too lazy to walk anywhere else.
Let Me Fix That For You II
Oh those wacky Self Service Checkouts. Save customers time and the company money. As long as they work, anyway.
So, 22nd December, last sunday before christmas. We open at 10:30AM, to give half an hours browsing before trading laws allow us to actually start selling at 11. So by the time 10:55 has come round there's queue at least 20 people deep and that's just on the SCOs.
Take a deep breath. The calm before the storm. And then the dreaded tannoy: "Good morning to all customers shopping with us today. The time is now 11 o clock and our tills are now open."
Open all four SCOs as quickly as possible and let the flood in. Stand back, eyes on the lights, waiting, waiting...
First one goes red. And then the second. Rush to the first - "Card declined, offline error."
Fuck.
The wireless in the entire shopping centre went down on the last sunday before christmas for two hours.
No customer suck in that, however. What there is customer suck, though, is in that lady on the first till (FL).
FL: My card declined! (She sounded in shock, and not to judge a book by the coveror what they're buying she did rather look like she'd never had to worry about money)
Me: Ah, let me look, it says 'offline decline', that means there's a problem with the phoneline. Bear with me one moment and I'll get this sorted.
FL: My card can't be declined! I only just used it!
Me: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with your card, it's with our phone lines. Lets take your items and move you onto one of the other tills. (At this point I assumed it was something wrong with the SCOs, because no one had reported a problem on the other tills and I started to guide her towards them, ready to let her skip a queue that was easily 30 people long - she'd already queued once and this is generally our policy for when an SCO fucks up)
FL: WAIT You have to void that first I've already entered my pin on there and I don't want it saved
Me: *thinking: wtf* Okay, let me do that for you *thinking: even though it's holding everyone up more, including you*
FL: And I need a receipt because I don't want it to go through twice!
Me: It won't go through at all, it hasn't connected so--
FL: When it connects!
I can sort of see where she was coming from with this, but seriously lady that is not how the system works we do not save your pin or or card and there is no need to snap at me - especially when one of the remaining two fell foul to the same problem while I was dealing with her.
Let's just say that was the most manic two hours of my life, but I did get a rewards card from work for dealing with trying to keep an eye on the SCOs as normal and make sure people in the queue knew they were cash only and trying to siphon people off the queue for the other tills who were using cash and trying to get people to use the other tills in the store all at the same time.
And I finally have the powers to do refunds, which is making my life extra exciting after Christmas, but I'll save those stories for another post since this is already long enough.
Let Me Fix That For You
So for the last three weeks before Christmas we always had at least one of our self service tills on 'card only'. To do this we put a big sign in red letters on the top of the monitors, and a second one right across where you put your cash in.
You can literally see these from across the store. That is, unless you're a customer, apparently, because if I had a pound for every time I had to go over and void someone's sale because they'd only realised it was card only when they went to put cash in, I'd probably double my wages.
But hey, we all have bad days, right, and it's hard to keep on track of things, so no suck there.
What is suck, however, is this:
Me: *darting over to see what the red light's on for* Hey, is everything all right there?
SC: Is this card only?!
Me: *sigh* Yes, sorry about that. Let me void this off for you and we'll get you set up on anoth--
SC: No! Why isn't it working? This is ridiculous!
Me: All of the other tills are working fine, so if you want to pay with cash I can--
SC: I should be able to pay how and where I want to! *snatches bag and storms off to pay at one of the other tills*
Actually, I Prefer Tea, But Thanks
I've had to step in to distract people from my female coworkers before, but this was the first time I had to have one come in and save me.
My company sets a high standard for customer care (we keep it above everything else), and we have all of this training about "legendary" care, which I always keep in mind. Plus, I actually like helping people it makes me feel good. So about a week before Christmas there was a gentleman looking a tad lost and I stepped in to help him.
I can't remember exactly how the conversation went, but I was being friendly, I found him one item, and then we went on a hunt for another. This isn't unusual, a week or so before I took another man around the store and found him everything he needed because he was in a rush and wanted out. And it started off friendly enough, I was joking about being a personal shopper, and he was laughing along.
And then it got creepy and I can't explain what it was that set me on edge, but he was getting into my personal space.
Creepy Customer: Oh, what's your name.
Me: ...Earl.
CC: Earl? I wish I could take you for coffee, Earl.
Me: A-ahaha, I don't really... um. Probably a bad idea.
CC: Are you sure? I really want to take you for coffee
Me: Yes. Let's find that other item, what did you say you were after?
And he then spent the rest of the conversation asking personal questions while I tried to move the conversation on (and then eventually got saved by one of the healthcare girls).
I have a boyfriend - being hit on by a guy isn't new. Being hit on by a guy easily twice my age at work (and bearing in mind I still get ID'd for alcohol all the time) is really not my idea of a fun time though.
And I really do prefer tea.
Gotta Pee! (In ten minutes or so)
So, on the run up to christmas we had lots of late nights where there would be easily 10-15 of us and maybe 5 customers in the store. Not a problem, it gave us time to clean up and get everything sorted for the next day.
One of these nights, I was approached by a pregnant "lady" (PL) and her mum (M).
PL: Hey, can I use your loo?
For some reason everyone thinks we have a loo. I'm not sure why, because I have never been in one of our stores that has one, and the one I work in atm is the flagship one for the county and we don't have one. Our stores don't have loos. But everyone thinks they do.
Me: I'm sorry, we don't have one. Marks and Sparks do - oh, but they'll be closed. Um. There's probably one in Mcdonalds?
PL: Actually I meant your staff loo.
Me: ...
PL: Last time I was pregnant they let me use it!
Now, let me explain the layout of our store. We have three layers: the basement, where our delivery comes in, the shop floor, and the top floor which is where the staff locker rooms are and the only loos in the building, but is also where the stock room is. Letting customers up there is a double risk: not only are they up with the stock room, letting her use the loos would also mean letting her into the ladies locker room, and if they're anything like us their stuff will be all over the place.
Me: Um, actually, our staff loos are upstairs, which is where our stock room is, so there's really no way that we could let customers up there.
M: I think that's just rude!
PL: Last time I was allowed! And this time I'm having problems with my pregnancy and I really, really need to go!
Aaaand at this point I was even more awkward than I was with Creepy Customer above because Pregnant Ladies are really not my area of expertise. And like I said before, our store has a thing for Legendary care and I don't want to fall foul of that.
Me: I really don't think you'll be allowed, but I can ask a manager if you'd like.
M: Do that!
Me: Okay, but I think it'd be quicker for you to go somewhere else.
So I run off to find my manager, who's serving someone else. And by the time he's finished and I explain what's going on, it's been at least five minutes, maybe closer to ten. And then he agrees with me, but because she's pregnant and he doesn't want to get in trouble if anything goes wrong, says that we'll let her if a female member of staff escorts her. So then I run off to find one of the girls, and by the time we've managed that and found her again, it's at least ten minutes. Ten minutes during which by the look of their basket they've been happily strolling around browsing.
Manager: Hi. We can't really let her upstairs because of our insurance--
M: Well I think that's disgraceful!
PL: I was allowed to last time and I've had complications this time! (By this time she was starting to sound like a stuck record).
Manager: Well, because she's pregnant this time we'll let her go this time, but she needs to be escorted by a member of staff because--
PL: This is ridiculous!
M: She's pregnant!
Manager: I know but--
PL: Actually, I don't even need to go that bad, but it's still not fair!
And then they carried on shopping for another twenty minutes before finally leaving!
I want to say that she was trying to get upstairs for some stupid reason, but she was heavily pregnant so I don't even know. Maybe she was just too lazy to walk anywhere else.
Let Me Fix That For You II
Oh those wacky Self Service Checkouts. Save customers time and the company money. As long as they work, anyway.
So, 22nd December, last sunday before christmas. We open at 10:30AM, to give half an hours browsing before trading laws allow us to actually start selling at 11. So by the time 10:55 has come round there's queue at least 20 people deep and that's just on the SCOs.
Take a deep breath. The calm before the storm. And then the dreaded tannoy: "Good morning to all customers shopping with us today. The time is now 11 o clock and our tills are now open."
Open all four SCOs as quickly as possible and let the flood in. Stand back, eyes on the lights, waiting, waiting...
First one goes red. And then the second. Rush to the first - "Card declined, offline error."
Fuck.
The wireless in the entire shopping centre went down on the last sunday before christmas for two hours.
No customer suck in that, however. What there is customer suck, though, is in that lady on the first till (FL).
FL: My card declined! (She sounded in shock, and not to judge a book by the cover
Me: Ah, let me look, it says 'offline decline', that means there's a problem with the phoneline. Bear with me one moment and I'll get this sorted.
FL: My card can't be declined! I only just used it!
Me: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with your card, it's with our phone lines. Lets take your items and move you onto one of the other tills. (At this point I assumed it was something wrong with the SCOs, because no one had reported a problem on the other tills and I started to guide her towards them, ready to let her skip a queue that was easily 30 people long - she'd already queued once and this is generally our policy for when an SCO fucks up)
FL: WAIT You have to void that first I've already entered my pin on there and I don't want it saved
Me: *thinking: wtf* Okay, let me do that for you *thinking: even though it's holding everyone up more, including you*
FL: And I need a receipt because I don't want it to go through twice!
Me: It won't go through at all, it hasn't connected so--
FL: When it connects!
I can sort of see where she was coming from with this, but seriously lady that is not how the system works we do not save your pin or or card and there is no need to snap at me - especially when one of the remaining two fell foul to the same problem while I was dealing with her.
Let's just say that was the most manic two hours of my life, but I did get a rewards card from work for dealing with trying to keep an eye on the SCOs as normal and make sure people in the queue knew they were cash only and trying to siphon people off the queue for the other tills who were using cash and trying to get people to use the other tills in the store all at the same time.
And I finally have the powers to do refunds, which is making my life extra exciting after Christmas, but I'll save those stories for another post since this is already long enough.
There is a golden rule about customers that all of us at CS know, SCs rarely if ever read. When they do it is selectively.
to 
!
But I wasn't sucky about it; when I realized I hadn't read the sign, I apologized and did the 
It's not upped my sales any, but meh.
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