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  • Ok, now I'm annoyed.

    Went out over the weekend. First time out other than doctors/hospital in weeks.

    A friend left and claimed they left because of the negativity and didn't want to start a fight... We were all confused.

    It comes out later that they felt I was "taking too much attention with how I am at the moment (being ill).

    It was barely mentioned at all the entire day.
    I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - Joi

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    • Holy

      The Really Big Craft Show Drama [tm] has already started and it's only packing day.

      Anyone have beer, chocolate, tea, fabric and fuzzy animals? Imma gonna need all of them.
      https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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      • So my Mum who's being treated for breast cancer and is about to undergo radiotherapy on Monday got her paypal and a couple of other sites hacked and tried to take money out of her account....

        *spends five minutes swearing*

        Helped her to get the passwords changed and gave her hugs.
        Final Fantasy XIV - Acorna Starfall - Ragnarok (EU Legacy)

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        • Snapped at my finance eariler over something simple and then had to go out came back to him depressed in bed because he wasn't annoyed at me but sad that my depression made me snappy.

          Now feeling guilty for making him sad, yay depressive thinking
          Final Fantasy XIV - Acorna Starfall - Ragnarok (EU Legacy)

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          • I've not been terribly active in the forums, but right now I'm slowly sinking into a depressive state.

            My birthday is on Saturday. I'll be 30. I don't usually go for the "milestone" birthdays, as it were, but was looking forward to doing SOMETHING. But wolfie got called away (his CW is in bad shape, he posted in Sickbay about it), so he's out of state indefinitely.

            I feel horrible and selfish, because I know why he's out there, it's for work, but I'm just so tired of having crappy birthdays, where I'm either sick, in the hospital or alone. and I'm alone again. I'm alone, my family is hundreds of miles away. Wolfie is actually closer to them right now than I am, and spent some time with them the other night, which made me feel even more alone.

            I feel like, lately, I have to be the one reaching out, starting conversations. If i don't, people don't bother. I feel like I'm whiny and begging for attention, and at the same time, just...alone. I hate it. I've cried more this week than I have in a while, and now he and I had a really big fight while on the phone yesterday morning. He keeps pushing video calls back later and later and later, so no time for me. No one has time for me.

            and now I'm left babbling and feel like crying again. I went and gave blood today, that usually gives me a lift, but all I have is a bruise, a sore arm, sadness and loneliness. I'm feeling kind of pathetic.

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            • Health issues suck, and yes, I'm going through a bit of my own. 3 weeks ago, I had to leave work early because I couldn't breathe. I could understand if I was doing manual labor, putting heavy boxes away, etc. But, sitting at my desk and messing with spreadsheets? Pardon my French, but are you fucking kidding me? I did what I could, but gasping for air sucks

              The past 3 weeks have been hell. I can handle using the inhaler. I can handle the chest X-rays, CT scan, and the ultrasound. What I'm having a hard time dealing with...are the *additional* health issues that were uncovered. What was thought to be a nodule on my lung, turned out to be inflammation. Throw in the cysts on my liver, finding out that I might have other liver issues...and I'm feeling just peachy.

              Seriously, fuck this shit.
              Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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              • Why am I so trusting, and such an idiot. I should know better then to trust anything my niece says.. but no .. not me. *sighs* I am an idiot.

                Also we are probably going to move in a couple of months to cheaper rent. Giving up on our mortgage because we can't seem to get refinanced and we can't really afford it right now. We've tried government programs, refinancing, 'hardship' letters. Nothing. Not giving us much choice. We WANT to keep up our mortgage but it doesn't look in the cards. Today physically I may be ok, but just disappointed in myself.
                Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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                • I'm feeling so very overwhelmed right now.

                  I'm alone in the house, but for the cats, and one of them just knocked over my last jar of pumpkin spice sauce. I made that from scratch, including roasting the pumpkin down, and reducing it to a syrup consistency, because I don't want to have to spend $6 for a pumpkin spice latte. I was proud of it. I've been using a little every morning because it makes me smile, just for a moment.

                  and now it's shattered and all over the kitchen floor, and I get to mop said floor at 11 pm, when I need to be up in the morning for work.

                  Oh, but it gets better, I don't have an actual mop!! I have a swiffer floor wiper. Three passes and the floor is still sticky, but I think I got all the glass up.

                  And the cat keeps trying to come into the kitchen to sniff at it, so I end up screaming. At the cat.

                  Over spilled sauce.

                  The irony.

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                  • This is so, so, SO petty, but I just coughed up a huge tonsil stone. That's a relief of course but I know that I'll have another one embedded within 48 hours. It's always my left tonsil, and the left side of my throat is almost always sore because of them. There's no way to avoid them according to the ENT, except for having my tonsils out, which at my age would suck really, really badly.

                    I never had them until about 3 years ago, they slowly became more frequent and now it's almost constant.

                    Like I said, I'm actually ashamed to be whining because this is hardly a terrible thing to happen to me, it's just SO annoying.
                    https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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                    • Tonsil stones - gack. Define big? I get a 3-5mm one every month or so and I think I have it easy with them. Have a hug. *hug* it's not petty to be annoyed at your body doing stupid stuff without your permission!
                      "...Muhuh? *blink-blink* >_O *roll over* ZZZzzz......"

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                      • I'm not sure, I usually end up swallowing them accidentally. I rarely manage to cough them up. I wouldn't honestly mind so much except I only get a few hours' respite between them.

                        It sure FEELS like a boulder is stuck in my throat though.
                        https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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                        • I just LOVE it when my dad decides to lecture me on something he has no clue about and just does the "I'm older then you and I know more about everything then you do" defense.

                          Really Dad? How much about quilting and dealing with clients do you really know about?

                          Ass.
                          https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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                          • Had a bit of a scare yesterday. I noticed my mind was trying to shut down, and that I was starting to shake. The shaking was getting worse, so I decided to take my blood sugar thinking that maybe my blood sugar levels were too high..

                            It was 72 and dropping FAST. Way too low. Got some sugar in me and started feeling MUCH better. Still I will be over in the corner here, because if I hadn't noticed the signs..could have been bad..real bad.
                            Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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                            • Saturday I decided to visit a shelter and see if there was a cat there for me. I found a very loving and sweet boy, but due to work time restraints had to return the following day to do the approval paperwork. When I went there today (sunday) they told me he was pre-adopted. Being as such, he was still at the shelter awaiting his familys arrival. he sat in is little cage meowing at me and talking to me the whole time.

                              Its so stupid that i'm hurt over it, but i'm sitting here crying nonetheless.
                              Then as if my heart wasnt sore enough, I had to go love on another sweet kitty, and after reading her papers, found out she was FIV positive. I cant risk our other cat getting it. So I gave her love and attention, and left.

                              I feel guilty leaving even 1 cat behind. I feel sad for those poor cats who are 10-12 years old and maybe never had a good family. I thought of taking one of the oldest ones and giving him a loving home for his last few years, but having recently lost a kitty, I dont think my heart can take much more.

                              And I feel guilty that I want a young cat/kitten. because i know the older ones deserve love, too, and have a less of a chance of being adopted. But the idea of going through the death of another pet, even in the next few years, makes me feel like falling apart.

                              I miss my sweet cat so much right now. I miss her love, and company.
                              Things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do. I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew,that someday it would bring me back to you.

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                              • My day didn't start well. I had a text message from Tony to let me know he was in A&E after throwing up blood. He hasn't been well for the past 3-4 days with a stomach virus.

                                I was happier after he rang me to let me know they had given him painkillers, anti-nausea drugs and a drip. He's being kept in for a day or two to make sure he's stable but they think the blood was from his throat or stomach lining being subjected to so much vomiting.

                                I'll be happier still when he's home.
                                As soon as I start thinking
                                That I'm sensible and sane
                                The Random Hedgehog comes along
                                And fiddles with my Brain
                                (from card I got)

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