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  • Shorthand fun (silly, not sucky)

    As I've mentioned, my new job involves heading out to county courthouses to gather information for the newspaper. I'm on pretty good terms with all the nice ladies I work with (they're all ladies, for whatever reason, I haven't seen a single man employed in any of the court offices beyond judges)...heck I've taken them treats at Christmas time, but some of them are...well.

    This particular lady is usually working right behind me, so she likes to comment on my habit of using a different pen color every week (helps me keep my files straight) or other little writing habits, so this wasn't unusual at first. I write all my notes on paper, because I don't want to risk losing my files and having to make the trip all over again (it's a lot of driving), so I've developed a shorthand to be able to get it all down quickly.

    Me: -sitting at a desk, writing something. After spending a minute staring at some weirdness in the file, puts two check marks next to it-

    Her: Oh, what do those mean?

    Me: That's my shorthand symbol so that I know to double-check this when I get it home.

    There's about a 20-second pause. Finally...

    Her: OHHH! I get it! A DOUBLE check! Oh my God, that's hilarious!

    Me: ...you're not an elected official, are you?

    Her: Oh, no. Why do you ask?

    Me: ...just curious.
    "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

  • #2
    In a previous job, we were working with info screens made to fit on very tiny monitors. Because of the limited space, we had to abbreviate some words. During a review, I came across one with the following parameter listed:

    CUM ENERGY


    It was a control screen for a missile launcher. Insert your own joke here. No pun intended. Or maybe it was.
    (It stood for "cumulative". There was enough room for a longer abbreviation, so I think the designer did it on purpose).
    Random Doctor Who quote:
    "I'm sorry about your coccyx, too, Miss Grant."

    I has a gallery: deviantART gallery.
    I also has a "funny" blog: Aqu Improves Her Craft

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    • #3
      ... Explaining to grandma why her LP-of-the-month club statement claims she bought some MOZ DONG ...


      (Mozart's Don Giovanni)
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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      • #4
        I work in the Aussie headquarters of, lets call it the games known as eee-bee . The funniest pre-owned label I saw was POKE DUNG TIME, which was the shortened Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time. When I saw it I started laughing. My coworker asked me what I was laughing at, so I showed her. She then showed it to more coworkers, who passed it along to one of the supervisors. He then passed it around all the supervisors, and the section boss got a look too. It took about 20 minutes for the little DS to be returned to me, but everyone had a smile on their face.

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        • #5
          Quoth dalesys View Post
          ... Explaining to grandma why her LP-of-the-month club statement claims she bought some MOZ DONG ...
          I don't know about you, but my gran woulda cracked up, and asked if we thought my generation had invented sex or something.
          "English is the result of Norman men-at-arms attempting to pick up Saxon barmaids and is no more legitimate than any of the other results."
          - H. Beam Piper

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          • #6
            There's a brand of Chicken I like to buy called "Simply Bare," as in organic, raised without growth hormones, all natural, etc.

            Whatever, I just buy it because it tastes good.

            But I also like to buy their chicken breasts because the receipt always lists it as (you see it coming, don't you)...

            SIMPLY BARE BREASTS

            I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd buy it for that reason alone!
            "Wouldn't that be unethical?"
            "That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
            --Dilbert

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