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What I wish I could say...

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  • What I wish I could say...

    *sigh* My department is getting more and more customer calls. Dangit, we all loved our job because of no customers! Anyway, I recently had this amusing yet annoying scenario.

    Me: Myself and I
    Customer: Self-explanatory

    Me: So I have your consent to run a credit check? *gets an affirmative and runs the check* ...Mmm, you are deposit so you won't be eligible for our free gift.

    Customer: Why?!? My credit should be fine!

    Me: You would have to talk to Equifax about that, sir.

    What I would like to say... I can see your credit report here and you must have been evading that child support for a LONG TIME, weren't you? And your ex really got you good when she caught up to you. That is an impressive amount, by any measure! And the rest of it isn't that great. So basically, that's a nice bridge but I'm not buyin' it.

    Yeesh.

  • #2
    I agree - the job would be so much easier if there were no customers!

    I had something similar this week. A customer who's applied for loans with us a few times in the past couple years (we've always turned him down because of his horrid credit) applied for a debit card. I made sure to tell him that we pull credit for all new debit cards, hoping he'd get the hint that I know he has bad credit. But he didn't flinch, and of course his credit was still bad. Not as bad as a year ago, but still not good.

    He tried to claim that he and his wife had cleared up all their credit issues, and some of the judgments and collection accounts had been paid off, but others hadn't. So as a courtesy, I gave him as much information as I could about what was still showing on his credit and said that if he could provide documentation that those items were paid, I might be able to get him a debit card. I wont' hold my breath.

    And of course, the customer turned sucky and said he would pull out all his money that he just deposited from the sale of his in-laws house. He wants to stay with us, yadda, yadda, but if we can't get him a debit card he might have to change banks. Seriously? You're an awful customer who's constantly overdrawn, and the money you brought in isn't really that much.

    Anyway, I feel your pain, Aria.
    "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
    -Mira Furlan

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    • #3
      Intereseting, so a debit card isn't an automatic with a bank account? I didn't know that/
      Last edited by MadMike; 03-26-2016, 12:24 AM. Reason: Please don't quote the entire post. We've already read it.

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      • #4
        Quoth Catwoman2965 View Post
        Intereseting, so a debit card isn't an automatic with a bank account? I didn't know that/
        It varies by bank. In this case, the customer has had a checking account with us for years. He's frequently overdrawn, but not enough for us to close the checking account. We could have turned him down for the debit card just based on his overdraft activity, but we decided to pull his credit report, as we normally do for new debit cards. Since it's bad, we declined to give him a debit card.

        If a new customer were to open a checking account and apply for a debit card at the same time, we'd pull a credit report and make our decision on both at the same time.
        "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
        -Mira Furlan

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        • #5
          Things I'd like to say:

          How stupid do you think I am? I know that you are lying to me, but my job description doesn't include giving a f*uck. I'll just process your application and then turn you over to the department who prosecutes people like you. I sure hope that the food stamps are worth jail time. Asshole.

          What I really say is "Oh, you are living in an RV, but you don't own a vehicle? Could you please write that down and sign and date it?" "Oh, you can't read or write? Who filled out this application for you?" "I am qualified to write your written statements down for you, and I can see that you can sign your name, hold on for a minute and I'll have a co-worker read what I've written to be sure that its an accurate reflection of your words before you sign."

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          • #6
            Quoth Ghel View Post
            I agree - the job would be so much easier if there were no customers!
            "This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers. "

            (cookies for reference)
            To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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            • #7
              "I'm not even supposed to BE HERE today!!!"

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              • #8
                "You mean I'm supposed to drink this coffee HOT?"

                "My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!"
                Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                • #9
                  Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                  "My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!"


                  In a row?



                  "Do you guys have a hubcap for a '74 Pinto? OO! Mini Trucker magazine!"

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                  • #10
                    "Ooooo, Navy Seals...!"

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                    • #11
                      My love for you is like a truck BERZERKER! Would you like some making fuck BERZERKER
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                      • #12
                        I absolutely love it when the customer thinks that I have anything whatsoever to do with the state of their credit...I've also found that the ones who protest the most are the ones who have so-so credit. The terrible credit people know they do and accept it; the ones who just don't qualify for the special deal are the ones who flip their gourd.
                        "She didn't observe the cardinal rule: Don't F**K with people who handle your food"
                        -Ryan Reynolds in 'Waiting'

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                        • #13
                          I'm curious: wouldn't a debit card be a better devise for preventing overdrafts than checks? How does this work to the banks' advantage?

                          Of course, the customer would be embarrassed at the cash-wrap instead of at home, opening their mail.

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                          • #14
                            "It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination"

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                            • #15
                              Quoth workerbee222 View Post
                              I'm curious: wouldn't a debit card be a better devise for preventing overdrafts than checks? How does this work to the banks' advantage?
                              Generally speaking, I think you're right. The way both debit cards and checks have been processed has changed a great deal in the past few years, at least here in the US. Now, both debit card transactions and checks written can clear accounts as soon as the same day. Checks always clear the second business day after the person they're written to deposits them, at the latest. Debit card transactions can still take a few days, but it's usually the same or the next business day.

                              Nearly all merchants and ATMs are "online" now, meaning that they verify account balances before authorizing the transaction. That helps prevent some overdrafts, but if a customer has written checks that also clear at the end of that day, it can still cause them to be overdrawn.

                              Also, customers get to opt in or out for overdrafts created with their debit card. If they choose to let their account overdraw, we must authorize those transactions. We can charge them a fee, but we can't decline the transactions. By regulation, we can't decline giving them a debit card if they choose this option, but we can close the debit card if they're repeatedly overdrawn because of it.

                              TL;DR: It's complicated, but I think debit cards are safer than checks for both banks and customers, assuming the customer doesn't have both.
                              "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                              -Mira Furlan

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