Every Guard's Crazy 'Bout a Sharp Dressed Man

[wolfie]

Sorry, no cookie - this thread is the first time I saw that poem/lyric. My point of reference is a fairly thick novel (the author's first published work).

[CyberLurch]

Thing is, he might have actually gotten away with it if he wasn't so obviously overdressed. Looking 'out of place' tends to draw attention. Like a Rolls-Royce at a bowling alley.

[Ironclad Alibi]

After you hit one store, you've "queered the pitch" at the rest of the mall. Cookies for reference.

I Googled that phrase and came up with some interesting results. According to Wordwizard it is a British phrase that dates back to 1846.

A recent lengthy (324 pages) novel is Power: A political Fantasy by S. Fowler Wright.

Page 140: Considering the way he's queered the pitch for you already, ...

[greek_jester]

You mean Elvis Costello, don't you?

Dammit, I keep doing that!

[wolfie]

A recent lengthy (324 pages) novel is Power: A political Fantasy by S. Fowler Wright.

The place I saw it was in The Day of The Jackal.

[Minflick]

Queered the pitch means, I think, to alter detrimentally the bowling of a ball in cricket. Or the line of bowling. Or some such. NO connection to homosexuality whatsoever.

I think....

[wolfie]

In the book I mentioned, it meant that through their failed attempt to assassinate Charles DeGaul, the guys hiring the Jackal made his job more difficult, as security was increased now that it was known that he was being actively targeted.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

A quick Google search shows "queering the pitch" to mean, informally, to spoil somebody's plans or chances of doing something, especially secretly or maliciously.

[XCashier]

Guy failed "Theft 101"

Theft 101 also includes "don't stand out like a sore thumb". Wearing a dapper suit in a shopping mall is almost as suspicious as the guy (waay back around 1988 at the Novelty Store at the Run Down Mall) who tried to steal my store's VCR while wearing a serape. One of these:



Yeah, that's totally not going to stand out. Even in a city with a very large Hispanic population like Phoenix, which is where I was at the time, you almost never see anyone wearing a serape.

Not that I advocate shoplifting, but a smart shoplifter doesn't wear something that makes him or her stand out. No huge heavy parkas in the middle of summer, no gaudy clothing where almost nobody wears it, no fancy-schmancy suits!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

The store I work at is located at the other end of a strip mall with Sports Government. It's downright alarming how many times we get a call from their LP about how they've just nabbed a shoplifter who also has stuff from our store on their person.

We're in the middle of a strip mall that also has a Kinship Dollar store, a Good Hands insurance agent, a cafeteria, independent pharmacy, barber shop, beauty shop and nail salon, among others. If anyone gets caught shoplifting at one, we all hear about it pretty quickly.

My store not only alerts others in the shopping center (we also have a beauty supply and a Noid Pizza at the roadside in front of the strip) but also nearby stores (Peeters around the corner as well as other nearby locations of the Litter Box, 'cause in quite a number of cases if one grocery store gets hit, chances are at least one more nearby could be targeted as well.)

[notalwaysright]

in quite a number of cases if one grocery store gets hit, chances are at least one more nearby could be targeted as well.)

When I was still new, I remember a mild fuss at the registers... We had a great full time cashier (basically the front end manager but not official) who was not... I was going to say she wasn't "dainty" except she was very slim. She just didn't give off dainty vibes. Not to sound super mean, but she was skinny in a middle-aged former drug user way.

I guess a guy tried to rob us with a knife. She said he just showed it to her without saying anything and she said something like "son, you don't want to do that." And he backed off, and went to rob the Kmart but the cops had arrived by then. Idiot.

[Dreamstalker]

There's a guy (still comes into the store) who wears a fancy suit. Very out of place. He would schmooze with everyone and just set my 'scammer' radar off. Knew a bit too much about internal jargon and procedures for price changes and tags; the theory is that he was hoping to make friends with as many 'upper-level' peons as possible so they would put through invalid sales/look the other way (sorry, I'm not risking my ass so you can get name-brand dog food for 10 cents). I caught him trying the banana scam a few times and also tag-switching.

First he worked for Crapcast. At that time I had a CW who did work for them, and this guy couldn't answer very basic questions that CW didn't even have to think about. He had a 'service dog'...in quotes because while he did have paperwork--and waved it around willy-nilly even when nobody asked for it--the poor dog was clearly mistreated--skin and bones, forced to wear three coats even in the spring so nobody would see how skinny he was, and the guy had animal welfare called on him at least three times that I know of.

After he was caught scamming by Shithead (and tried to accuse me of profiling), he no longer has the dog. Claims that the dog has arthritis and can't leave the house. but we know for a fact he was adopted by someone else. The guy is also now apparently counsel for some landlord and is always involved in some eviction proceedings, to the point of loudly discussing cases and sensitive info over the phone. I'm always hoping that he'll let slip enough info for me to anonymously contact the court or the landlord ("hey, do you know your lawyer is telling the whole town about XYZ?") but no dice. Continues to butter up those few who will engage him anymore.

[XCashier]

^What a horrible human being.

[Ironclad Alibi]

The guy is also now apparently counsel for some landlord and is always involved in some eviction proceedings, to the point of loudly discussing cases and sensitive info over the phone. I'm always hoping that he'll let slip enough info for me to anonymously contact the court or the landlord ("hey, do you know your lawyer is telling the whole town about XYZ?") but no dice.

Perhaps he just pretending to be counsel for someone, which he why he never mentions any juicy details.

[Dreamstalker]

Good point and probably spot-on (a lot of the things I overhear don't make sense, and my experience is limited to one semester of criminal law, a crash course in basic housing law and who-knows how many daytime court shows).

At one point, myself and a few CWs were trying to figure out how we could somehow arrange for the dog to turn up at the big shelter...if MSPCA got their paws on him the guy would have a LOT of questions and probably wouldn't get the dog back.