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This has to be some kind of record for suckiness

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  • This has to be some kind of record for suckiness

    At red checkmark, my system shows me how many times a customer has called in the past month. The idea being that if someone has called a lot, we need to work harder to fix whatever problems they're having so they stop calling back.

    It is also however something of a de facto SC meter as a good number of the "special snowflakes" tend to call in again and again and again.

    Prior to the start of the month, the most calls I'd seen in 30 days was 63.

    Then, around the start of the month I had an account that had 85. The records on that were pretty impressive. It was just an unending train of "Supervisor call" "Corporate office" "credit applied". I've seen the "Corporate office" memos on accounts before. What that means is the SC has, for some reason, been handled at one time or another by our executive service team, which only gets involved on really messed up accounts.

    Most accounts NEVER get these records on them. Even the few I've seen that had them may have at most three in an entire year.

    This one had SIX in ONE week. And when you looked back further there was even more than that.

    He was one of these guys who complained about absolutely every last thing: His phone sucked, his service sucked, all of us at <red checkmark> sucked (seriously, there were I don't how many notes indicating that he would threaten to get every person he spoke to fired), Google sucked, Samsung sucked and so on and so forth.

    The only good thing about that call was that he didn't ask for a manager, he just cussed at me for what seemed like forever and then hung up.

    I naively assumed that 85 calls in 30 days was a record that would stand for a good while, but about a week ago I came across an account that had...

    wait for it....




    260 calls in 30 days

    Or in other words, approximately NINE times a day!

    That is NOT a typo!

    The records on this account were a screed so long they'd make a phone book look like a three page travel brochure. This guy had tortured so many poor reps George R.R. Martin would be like: "dude, lay off a bit."

    I mean it was absolutely epic, it was like the previous account on steroids. Endless complaints, supervisor calls, credits, free phones, free accessories, early upgrades. I swear it seemed like he must have badgered every rep in the entire company. Some caved, some didn't, but he just kept trying and trying and trying. I wonder how many poor reps have quit because of him, I'm sure he's run quite a few off.

    He was apparently trying for the SC Hall of Fame or something.

    The one weird thing about that was I didn't see any Corporate notes on that one. They may have been buried in there somewhere though.

    I don't even want to think about much money this guy has COST us. I mean I'm sure it's many, MANY times more than we've made from him.

    I really do wish my company would be more proactive about "firing" badgering, sucky, impossible to please customers, especially when they are clearly costing US money to do business with. I really think both parties would be better off in the end anyway.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Nine calls a _DAY_? I swear, you lose more in customer service rep time than you'd ever make from his account.

    Agreed, it is _way_ past time companies fire the unprofitable and/or obnoxious "credit me, you owe me" customers. But unfortunately given today's culture I don't see it happening...

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    • #3
      They can't make that guy happy. CAN'T. No matter what they give him, he will always want MORE. He wouldn't be satisfied if they were paying him! Too bad corporate doesn't understand that.
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

      Comment


      • #4
        Daaaang, nine calls a day? Hmmm, fuzzy math time! Lets assume an average of 5-8 minutes a call, that way I can just say 5*9=45, 8*9=72 average it to 60 minutes of rep time wasted per day. Assuming the reps are making $10 an hour, wasting an hour a day his cost to the company is $300 a month.

        So, assuming the dude is on a normal contract, right around $80-100 a month, the company could give dude a phone for free on the condition he doesn't bug customer service and the company would still save $200 a month.

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        • #5
          Quoth MoonCat View Post
          They can't make that guy happy. .
          Oh, they're making him happy all right:

          Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
          credits, free phones, free accessories, early upgrades.
          It's just that he'll never let on as long as the free ride continues.

          Comment


          • #6
            Apart from you, has anyone actually looked at the numbers? It's easily possible that there are about 2 dozen employees who think, "Dang, I must talk to that guy every day," without even guessing that so do a ton of other people.

            Just in wasted employee wages, they should get rid of him.
            To seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care;
            To pursue it with forks and hope;
            To threaten its life with a railway share;
            To charm it with forks and hope!

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            • #7
              Quoth Mondestrucken View Post
              Apart from you, has anyone actually looked at the numbers? It's easily possible that there are about 2 dozen employees who think, "Dang, I must talk to that guy every day," without even guessing that so do a ton of other people.

              Just in wasted employee wages, they should get rid of him.
              I would guess probably not, most people who work here just follow their scripts and policies and don't pay attention to anything else.

              I wish that was an exaggeration but it's not.
              "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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