PTSD suck

[Headset Hellion]

I had a panic attack at work today and I don't know how to move forward. I work in a call center. Most of my customers are pretty nice. This morning I spoke with a man who wouldn't stop yelling at me, saying things that were very offensive, making accusations, and being verbally abusive in general. Loud noises are an obvious trigger. I can usually handle myself pretty well with being yelled at. Sometimes I need a short break to do deep breathing, but I can handle it.

Not today, though. I couldn't get a word in, he wouldn't stop shouting at me...it was like being slapped in the face, repeatedly. I could feel the panic coming. I put my customer on hold and tried to get a manager to take over the call but it got so bad, so fast...

I couldn't stop hyperventilating. My whole body was trembling and my lips and fingers started to tingle and go numb. My hands froze with my fingers like claws. I couldn't work the mouse or type anything to transfer the call to management. My vision got blurry. I felt faint and started crying, and my coworker noticed. He tried to help me but I dropped to the floor and curled up under my desk.

They got me out of there and a manager to take the call. When I tried to take my Klonopin, I couldn't open the blister pack because I couldn't move my fingers. A different manager was in the hallway and when I asked her for help, she snapped at me to calm down. "You're not on the call anymore; you need to calm down!" I think this may have actually helped because I was so shocked that she would speak to me that way...it made me angry.

They let me take a long break to calm down. I take rapid-dissolve Klonopin, which takes effect pretty quickly. I was able to calm down and get back to my desk...where managers were avoiding eye contact and half of my team wanted to know if I was okay.

I'm so embarrassed. I feel like people think that I was just crying because of a mean customer...like I was being dramatic. I'm afraid that they don't respect me anymore. I don't know if I should just pretend like nothing happened, or if I should tell them the truth. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and start walking on eggshells, but I don't want them to think I'm a drama queen who can't handle my job, either.

[Teysa]

Everyone has a breaking point. There is no shame in reaching yours. It sounds like that customer went far beyond mean. As for what your coworkers think, I wouldn't worry about it. Just keep doing your job and try to dwell on all the good customers you have.

[XCashier]

I'm sorry you went through that. That customer was a nasty, vicious bully, very much in the wrong and I hope he someday realizes what a jerk he was and feels ashamed of himself.

Are you allowed to hang up on vicious callers? Can you say, "I must ask you to calm down and refrain from profanity or I will terminate this call"? Or does the company require you to sit there and take it?

As for the PTSD...how is the main manager? Is he/she a decent person? You might want to talk to him/her about your situation, tell him/her about your medication and explain that it only happens in rare, extreme situations. Hopefully he/she will understand, you can come to an understanding and there won't be any more problems.

[Headset Hellion]

XCashier, we're not allowed to hang up on them. We're not even supposed to ask them to refrain from profanity, although it's not strictly forbidden. We are allowed to ask a manager to take the call, though.

My team manager is awesome. He's aware of my situation, to an extent, because I filed a disability accommodation request. He has an anxiety disorder himself; he's very understanding if I need to take an extra break or cry or whatever. He's also on vacation.

Hopefully he'll be back on Monday. I'll definitely be talking with him about this and asking for his advice. He seems to be friends with the manager who snapped at me, so I might ask him to talk to her. I'm also thinking about talking to our unit manager/dept head.

[Gizmo]

I would ask him to chat to them and say something like "when I am away and unavailable please be aware that HH does need extra help if XYZ happens."

[retro]

I had a similar thing before at my last job. I had a customer who was really over the top. And it was the third in a run of customers who were all completely unreasonable. All I remember is this third idiot yelling at me, and the next thing I remember was I was walking towards the front door with my manager yelling at me to get back.

Apparently I'd slammed my headset down on the desk, kicked a locker and yelled 'f**k this' before walking away.

I have no memory of this.

I was so scared that this had happened that I always tried to be careful afterwards. I so easily could have lost my job that day.

Although it's calls like this that were responsible for me taking so much time off with stress, and indirectly led to me losing my job a couple of years later.

[KuariKaydrith]

Call centers are a horrible place for people with anxiety and/or PTSD. Especially if upper management doesn't even attempt to accommodate your specific needs. During my time in a call center I was once told by the HR person to 'just suck it up - everybody gets bad callers once in a while. We can't make special accommodations for one person. If you can't do the job perhaps you should simply leave.' If I had been a violent person I probably would have launched myself over the HR person's desk. Instead I left HR's office and returned later with a stack of information from the Labour Relations Board - I left it on the HR person's desk and advised them to read everything that was highlighted. I got an apology the next day, although I'm sure that the entire incident is why I never rose any higher during my years at that particular place. Oh well, in the end I got the last laugh - I worked on three different contracts for the site's biggest client, and within six months after I left the client pulled all nine of their contracts. I love how karma works sometimes

[Sapphire Silk]

HH: have you considered getting a service dog? They train them for PTSD, and it's a legit disability. Your employer would have to accommodate you (I'm assuming you're in the US).

If you got your PTSD from military service, there are organizations that helps vets get service dogs.

[Bright_Star]

Next time just hang up on an abusive caller. Damn what the rules say! NOBODY needs to be treated like that!! & you don't need to tolerate that nonsense.

[greek_jester]

Next time just hang up on an abusive caller. Damn what the rules say! NOBODY needs to be treated like that!! & you don't need to tolerate that nonsense.

Although you need to be prepared for the consequences if you do; chances are you will be sacked, and it may affect your chances of claiming unemployment.

[Silent-Hunter]

I think it could probably be considered a hostile work environment, which would mean they would not be allowed to fire you for that.

[Sapphire Silk]

I think it could probably be considered a hostile work environment, which would mean they would not be allowed to fire you for that.

Hostile callers comes with the territory. The manager has to create the hostile workplace for it to matter.

[Shyla]

Asking for an accomodation is the best thing to do. They aren't required to help you unless you tell them you have a problem. Tell them you have a disability (use that word) that needs an accomodation (use that word). You may have to provide a paper signed by a doctor that you have a disability. Then they must help you or prove that it is impossible to do because you would not be able to do your job. If you need to, be specific about what you need. Permission to put abusive callers on hold to give the call to someone else, permission for a short break, whatever you think will help you best.

Start documenting everything. Write it all down and keep that at home. What happened, who you talked to, what they said. Just in case. Most companies will do the right thing but not all companies will.

[KuariKaydrith]

I'm seconding what Shyla posted. In order for me to keep doing call center work I have had to do everything she has listed. Sometimes more than once as my supervisors have changed around. Those sorts of accommodations are not considered major or disruptive so I can't see the OP's workplace denying them.

[Headset Hellion]

HH: have you considered getting a service dog? They train them for PTSD, and it's a legit disability. Your employer would have to accommodate you (I'm assuming you're in the US).

If you got your PTSD from military service, there are organizations that helps vets get service dogs.

I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I work for a great company that takes the ADA very seriously. I know they wouldn't give me any trouble with that. The problem is that professionally trained PTSD dogs are very expensive and every place I've checked has insanely long waiting lists. I'm not familiar enough with dogs to feel comfortable training one myself.

I did just get rated at 100% by the VA, though, so maybe they can help me.

I actually already have disability accommodations in place. I can take 3 additional days off each month with no absenteeism occurences, plus 15 minutes each day, in addition to my regularly scheduled breaks. They've been really great and made the process very easy for me.