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  • Llama Attack!

    I overheard this story in the kitchen at work today. The CW in question is deeply stupid and so lacking in self awareness that I often marvel that she manages to function. It seems that she took her children to the zoo at the weekend, and her ten-year-old son (contrary to all the many posted signs I know are there, I've been to the zoo) wriggled through an outer fence, crossed the neutral zone and stuck his hand through an inner fence. He was promptly bitten by an inquisitive oryx or llama, she wasn't sure on species, which is how I often feel about her.

    Anyway, as she proudly told everyone within earshot of the kitchen, she found a keeper and shouted at him for five minutes or so about the dangers of this vicious herbivore. When another CW asked why she didn't stop her child crossing two barriers and ignoring signs, she didn't seem to understand the question. Wow. Brain Trust. In other news I'm going to a zoo on Saturday, where I shall pointedly not place my hands near the exhibits and shall tut loudly when anyone calls an ape 'a cute little monkey'.
    Saying I'm "turning down a sale" and thinking I give an airborne fornication – GUILTY – Irving Patrick Freleigh

  • #2
    At least it wasn't something carnivorous, like a tiger, who then took off precious little diddlydums hand.

    Otherwise we'd be subjected to Clueless CW sobbing on TV about the vicious animals who maimed her darling dodo.
    They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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    • #3
      I was just thinking that if I had been the zoo keeper I would have invited the twit to take her little pwecious to see the tiger exhibit.

      But it's not good to feed the animals junk food.
      Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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      • #4
        Quoth BookBint View Post
        The CW in question is deeply stupid and so lacking in self awareness that I often marvel that she manages to function.
        I think (sub)humanity must have some kind of auto-pilot.
        Quoth BookBint View Post
        Anyway, as she proudly told everyone within earshot of the kitchen, she found a keeper and shouted at him for five minutes or so about the dangers of this vicious herbivore. When another CW asked why she didn't stop her child crossing two barriers and ignoring signs, she didn't seem to understand the question.
        Yay. Genius. So her child disrespect rules (with her being directly responsible for him, such child being very young) and she complains. Hm-hm.
        Quoth BookBint View Post
        In other news I'm going to a zoo on Saturday, where I shall pointedly not place my hands near the exhibits and shall tut loudly when anyone calls an ape 'a cute little monkey'.
        I pity the fool. Although I'd go all Pratchett's Librarian on them
        Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
        I was just thinking that if I had been the zoo keeper I would have invited the twit to take her little pwecious to see the tiger exhibit.
        Do they have wolverines? I think they are more dangerous.
        Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
        But it's not good to feed the animals junk food.
        Ah, once in a while it can't hurt
        FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC

        You're not a unique snowflake unless you create your own mould (Raps)

        ***GK, Sarcastro, Lupo, LingualMonkey, BookBint, Jester, Irv, Hero & Marlowe fan***

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        • #5
          Argh! I get pretty peeved when people mistake the Great Noble Apes for those chirpy little thumbed rodents, the monkeys. Apes, citizens. Grand, Great, Apes.

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          • #6
            Wow. I feel sorry for the llama [or oryx]. Poor thing having that nasty taste in its mouth...
            "And so all the night-tide, I lie down by the side of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride!"
            "Hallo elskan min/Trui ekki hvad timinn lidur"
            Amayis is my wifey

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            • #7
              I see a future candidate for a Darwin award. Let's hope he survives to18 so he can qualify.
              I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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              • #8
                Quoth C. Cecil Ivanish View Post
                .I pity the fool. Although I'd go all Pratchett's Librarian on them
                Oook!......
                Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

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                • #9
                  Shoulda asked if the boy's had his shots. Wouldn't want the llama getting sick now would we?

                  And while I sincerely hope the boy wasn't injured beyond a bruise and momentary pain, I can only hope this taught him a lesson he won't soon forget. Though with mommy blaming everyone but her son...he probably won't.
                  A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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                  • #10
                    Obligatory:

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMYN4djSq7o



                    Also one thing people don't realize is that the bars in a zoo are not to protect the animals from you. They are to protect you from the animals. Of course some people have trouble understanding the concept, so you occasionally get the idiots who, with great effort, sneak through the barriers to the tiger exhibit.

                    Really can't blame the tigers for what happens next.

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                    • #11
                      How's that old joke go?

                      "Honey, will you take junior to the zoo?"

                      "Ah, if the zoo wants him they can come and get him!"
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                      • #12
                        So how bad is it that your co-worker makes me think of this trope from TV Tropes...?

                        Any news on what the keeper had to say about the woman letting her child do that, BTW?
                        Look, a signature!

                        If every cashier in the world went on strike, retail would come to a screeching halt, even if for a couple hours.

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                        • #13
                          The funny thing about my local zoo's tiger exhibit is that they have these really nice three-sided glass viewing areas where the tigers can come right up to the glass to see you. Breath-taking.

                          When you leave the enclosure the path leads past the exhibit itself. There is a simple, single rail wooden fence, about three feet of grass, and then a chainlink fence between you and the cats. You could literally lean over the rail and touch the fence. I'm sure it's very tempting to just reach out an pet the kitty when the cats walk up and lean on the fence... right under the sign that warns that the cats spray.

                          I was standing on the opposite side of the path, making sure my son read the sign, when a gaggle of kids started daring each other to pet the kitty the next time he ambled by. I had just enough time to whisper "Just watch" to my son, when the big kitty sauntered over, brushed up against the fence, turned around, and let loose on the group.

                          Monkeys throw things, apes masturbate onto the glass, big cats spray, and just about everything else will bite if it gets a chance. These are just part of visiting the zoo.
                          Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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                          • #14
                            Quoth BookBint View Post
                            He was promptly bitten by an inquisitive oryx or llama, she wasn't sure on species, which is how I often feel about her.
                            How does one not know an oryx from a llama? An alpaca, on the other hand...

                            Quoth C. Cecil Ivanish View Post
                            Do they have wolverines? I think they are more dangerous.Ah, once in a while it can't hurt
                            Honey badgers. Scary critters. *nods sagely*

                            Feh. Not right to link to a non-flash (non-repeating) version.

                            ^-.-^
                            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                            • #15
                              I would have considered this more obligatory, given the topic:

                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbwkkXGmFrI

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