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Crazy woman at the movies (a bit long)

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  • Crazy woman at the movies (a bit long)

    I registered especially to post this story... hope you enjoy it :P

    So my wife and I went to a matinee one day. The theater was almost empty; there were maybe 15 people in a theater of about 150 seats. I like to talk during the movie, so I always sit in the rear and well away from everyone else so that I can talk quietly and not disturb anyone. My wife and I put our coats, etc. on the seats on either side of us.

    A few minutes into the previews, this 50ish woman walks up to my wife. I kid you not, this was the conversation that ensued:

    Woman: Is this your coat?
    Wife: Uh... yes...
    Woman: Move it. I want to sit here.

    I turn and stare at this crazy woman with an astonished expression on my face. Here we are in a nearly empty theater, with more than a hundred empty seats, and not only does she sit in the sit immediately next to my wife, she ORDERS her to move her coat! We're both so taken aback that my wife just moved her coat without thinking. I shoot her a dirty look for the better part of a minute, but she refuses to look at me, so finally I say, "Sure, because we don't say PLEASE IN THIS COUNTRY!" Still, she doesn't look.

    So we get to watching the movie, whispering little comments from time to time, when, I kid you not, this crazy woman turns to us again...

    Woman (loudly): Can you please BE QUIET?
    Me: Hmm, maybe if you'd been more polite to my wife, I might listen to the first thing you have to say.
    Woman: What?
    Me (loudly): I said SILENCE, SHREW!
    Woman (after a long pause): Idiot.
    Me (laughing): Touche'. I am wounded by your rapier wit.
    Woman: Do you want me to get the usher?
    My wife and I: Try it.

    Well, she shut up after that, but you better believe we looked for every single excuse we could find to talk about the movie ("I like his hair." "Me too, do you think I'd look good with that haircut?"). She had the nerve to keep shooting us long, dirty looks, but nothing more. When the movie ended and she was leaving, my wife yelled after her, "Do you want to know what restaurant we're going to, so you can sit at our table?"

    I'm so happy that both of us were thinking quickly that day. We still talk about it

    By the way, this woman had her husband with her. He never looked at me or said a word throughout all of this

  • #2
    Quoth raptormh
    Here we are in a nearly empty theater, with more than a hundred empty seats, and not only does she sit in the sit immediately next to my wife, she ORDERS her to move her coat!...When the movie ended and she was leaving, my wife yelled after her, "Do you want to know what restaurant we're going to, so you can sit at our table?"
    If you and the other couple go to a nearly empty restaurant they might want to cram you together anyway
    I second that Frederick Douglass quote--unfortunately, so do a lot of SCs.

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    • #3
      Okay, that's just... ew. Why would you WANT to sit right up next to someone like that anyway?

      Oh yeah, I forgot: if it makes sense, it's not allowed.
      ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
      And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

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      • #4
        Quoth raptormh
        By the way, this woman had her husband with her. He never looked at me or said a word throughout all of this
        I bet you that he was loving someone standing up to the old bag
        I wasnt put on this earth to make you feel like a man ~ Mary Bertone

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        • #5
          Quoth raptormh
          When the movie ended and she was leaving, my wife yelled after her, "Do you want to know what restaurant we're going to, so you can sit at our table?"
          That was a good one. Seriously, though, what moves some people?
          You gotta polish a memory like a stone. Chip off the parts that remind you it was just a game. Work it until it's indistinguishable from any other memory.

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          • #6
            That poor bastard she had with her probably hasn't opened his mouth in the last thirty years.

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            • #7
              Raptormh, you and your wife both rock!!!!


              JustADude, I see one of my favorite phrases has caught your fancy.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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              • #8
                Bwaaaaaah! Raptormh, you are a minion of evil and I mean that in the nicest way.
                Figers are vicious I tell ya. They crawl up your leg and steal your belly button lint.

                I'm a case study.

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                • #9
                  Quoth raptormh
                  Me (loudly): I said SILENCE, SHREW!
                  Excellent. Just excellent.
                  Drive it like it's a county car.

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                  • #10
                    a hearty second to hauntedhead's approval of the shrew comment.

                    that was a awesomely stellar put down! what i would have given to be there at that moment...*sighs*
                    look! it's ghengis khan!
                    Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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                    • #11
                      Thanks

                      Thanks, guys, you'll make me blush

                      We were able to turn a bad experience into one of the all-time best. I take enough crap at work, I'm sure not taking any at the movies.

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                      • #12
                        This reminds me of a story my mom told me about a weirdo guy she observed at a theatre. He'd sit somewhere for a few minute, take his jacket off, put it back on, move to another seat, move to yet another seat, and so on. He even sat next to her, for a bit. She was so freaked out by his behavior that she finally left!

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