Funny Spam Subject Lines

[Ghel]

We all get spam that we delete without reading. Some of the subject lines of these emails provide humor value if only from their nature as ESL messages or attempts to avoid spam filters. What are some that you've seen recently that caught you funny?

"Improv your bedroom performance" - community theater at its best?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

By far my favorite spam letter was one advertising "Dildo the Sex Toy," which sounds like a cartoon character that does not exist, but needs to.

[Salted Grump]

Irv, Do NOT Make me link to Ghastly's Ghastly Comic. There's a filler character named 'Dildy'

You guess what it is.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say a sexual implement of some sort.

Dammit, now I need to see this.

[Salted Grump]

I'll link it when My internet isn't doing its utmost to imitate a rabid chimpanzee with a spastic throwing arm and a severe case of the trots.

Edit: Here ya go Irv; the final appearance of Dildy brand vibrating fun toys.

Consider everything to be NSFW, and potentially NMS as well. http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20060212.html

[Andara Bledin]

Ghastly's comic is really easy to find. Unfortunately, there's only one (exceedingly NSFW) update for all of 2008, and nothing since. Having found his Facebook page, I have to say he's rather younger than I had thought. *shrug*

Strangely enough, I found the comic while searching for a pic of Velma being tickled.

^-.-^

[Lachrymose]

I work in IT.

Every week, we have a meeting to go over open support tickets.

One day, we're all gathered in our meeting, copy of open tickets in hand.

When we get to the very last ticket on the list, all of us crack up at the description (which is taken from the subject line of the emails users send to us requesting help) : "Demi Moore sucks huge cock".

[Peppergirl]

When we get to the very last ticket on the list, all of us crack up at the description (which is taken from the subject line of the emails users send to us requesting help) : "Demi Moore sucks huge cock".

And she apparently needed 'help' in order to do so.

[Cazzi]

When we get to the very last ticket on the list, all of us crack up at the description (which is taken from the subject line of the emails users send to us requesting help) : "Demi Moore sucks huge cock".

Wouldn't that leave her spitting feathers?

/gets coat & runs like heck!

[technical.angel]

The only semi funny one I have is "Make your hose greater."

At least, on my main acct. I don't feel like delving into Yahell.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Raw and uncut from the Kinkoid's junk mail box:

Funny, I was just reading these out to the husband last night and we were cracking up over them.

"Your woman will be shocked by your fang's astonishing progress"

I don't even know what that means.

"Her moans will go one after another in rhythm of your hard ramming"

Do you get the idea that some dude who does not have English as his mother tongue is sitting in some basement somewhere typing this shit one handed?

"Try for your bed partner's satisfaction."

I suppose that's all anyone can ask.

"Lack of mojo in pants"

"Get your ero-weapon boosted."

Some of these would sound violent if it were clear at all what the hell they were talking about.

"I friendly woman from Russia"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Do you get the idea that some dude who does not have English as his mother tongue is sitting in some basement somewhere typing this shit one handed?

With somebody else's ding ding in his mouth.

[Andara Bledin]

The fun from my spam folder right now:

PLEASE DON'T FALL A VICTIM.
Heh... this is a typical Nigerian scam letter.

Attention Please I Am the Agent with your Package
Hmm..... just what sort of package are we talking, here? Feh, just another Nigerian scam.

Hi Andara, We lowered prices. is to Virginia
Considering that this is for the other most common type of spam, the the reference to Virginia amuses me.

^-.-^

[MoonCat]

Most of my spam starts with something like "Greetings beloved in Christ" or "Hello My Dear" - those are all Nigerian scams.

I love the ones that are very bad English - "Waiting your respond"

Or subject lines like this: "Help! Where are you?" - yeah, that's not going to work because I don't know anyone who would email me that way.

We used to get those Viagra ones at work. I knew it was bad when I got one that included "before" and "after" illustrations!

[flybye023]

I just got one the other day, "make your love sword longer!". Just cracked me up 'cause even the silly romance novels I read have never called it that.