GOLDS!!! ARGHABLATHKA!!!

[BrenDAnn]

There's one guy (my boss's ex, coincidentally) who calls them his "weeds". As for the OP...dear god almighty that was painful to read. I can't imagine actually being there. Oh, wait, yes I can...People do that to me ALL the time. Not to the extent of the OP, but still. I really, honestly believe that people do it just to fuck with the poor clerk that's getting the cigs for them. The ones I love are the ones that start to correct me, then get sheepish when they realize that I grabbed the cigs they wanted to start with. It goes something like "Lights-- Oh, nevermind. That's what you grabbed." Yes, it happens. I know. Miraculous.

[wolfie]

Then theres the ones that come in and say they need smokes. Then get mad when you ask what kind.. lol
Most of the time it's someone wanting Newports. They act like EVERYONE smokes that brand... sorry but no.

Hell you could hand them a bag of tobacco and some rolling paper then.

Hey they did say smokes - never said what kind.

Don't you wish you could hand them a couple smoke grenades (if the series "Tour of Duty" was accurate, "smokes" was Vietnam-era military slang for smoke grenades). After all, they asked for "smokes", not "frags" (fragmentation grenades - what most people think of when you say "grenade"). As a bonus, if they want "reds", "blues", or "greens", smoke grenades come in a variety of colours.

[Gaki]

Damn, people are still playing "The Game"?

It's actually funny you should mention that. We have work-issued drink cups and mine actually has a sticker on it that says "The Game" as if it's my name. So when younger customers piss me off I just drink out of my cup and all they can be thinking in their brain is: "Well played, madam, well played."

I haven't had any other real winners with the cigarettes in the past few days other than "I wanted hundreds." Golds guy really took it.

I did have a CW the other day who works in the restaurant area who had a customer that was SOOOO inconvenienced by the fact that she didn't know what Kools were so she had to look for them. GOSH he just COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

[XCashier]

I love the ones that want USA Gold. I ask which and they say GOLD!
So I grab the USA Gold in the gold/yellow box. They yell NO! the red box!

Why do people gotta be such assholes when buying cigarettes?! There are hundreds of varieties, specify exactly what you want! (It's helpful if you show the cashier your previous packet.) They don't like having to go back and forth because you're too stupid to know exactly which one you want or how to order it.

(deep breath) Gah! I hated selling cigarettes, and hope I never will have to ever again.

[ackmeow]

#1 on the Ankh-Morpork Hit Parade (Dwarf Music chart)...

No, That's the chorus! Get it right!

[Geek King]

Dammit. I just lost. So have all the rest of you.

"The only way to win is not to play." --W.O.P.R., Wargames

[Merriweather]

Shame they can't come up with some modified version of the old cigarette machines - clerk checks ID, and SC hits the button for the one they want - and if they get it wrong, they're stuck with it

[Shannarah]

We had one lady that used to come through and buy one brand of cigarettes, but would demand that she got one with a specific health warning label - the one that said "Your smoking may harm others" If we did not have a loose packet on the shelf, she would want us to open up a carton especially for her. She had to be told a couple of times before it sunk in that we would no longer open up cartons to get her that specific one, and if we did not have one with that warning label on it loose, she could either buy one with another label or go somewhere else.

On selling smokes, I hate it when you greet the customer ":Hi, how are you" and the response that you get is a sharp "Horizon Red" snapped at you.

I have also had people try to use their student ID as ID for smokes - not bloody likely, they aren't government issued, not approved on the list of acceptable ID's, I dont really care if they crack the shits over it. I have no intention of copping a fine for it.

Besides that, I can remember how easy it was to get a "fake" student ID when I was in school.

[Solacelawlz]

exxxxxxxxtra ridonculous!! that guy musta popped his speed right before he came in the store lol i honestly would have been laughing too hard to get him the right cigs after he spam yelled GOLD!!! lmao ah... the people of this world... i wonder about them...

[PepperElf]

you know... I'm kinda glad - afaik, at least - that they don't do this in Japan.

It would be rather interesting to have a customer come up and yell, "HOPE!"

Yeah... they sell "Hope" brand cigarettes. My joke about it ... "What? I 'Hope' I don't get cancer?"

[Merriweather]

We had one lady that used to come through and buy one brand of cigarettes, but would demand that she got one with a specific health warning label - the one that said "Your smoking may harm others" If we did not have a loose packet on the shelf, she would want us to open up a carton especially for her.

Maybe she thinks only the warning on that label applies to that pack of cigarettes? So by getting those, she'll harm other people but not get cancer or anything herself?

Or maybe she just likes the idea of rubbing it into someone she lives with that she''s hurting them as well as herself?

Either very delusional, or very vindictive. Wow.

[cashierbex]

I get this:
A pack of Marlboros. I pick up reds. They say no, lights. I pick up gold. No, ultra lights. I pick up the silver. Still no good. 100s. Now I have a line of people.

One of my favorite regulars calls virginia super slim purple "purple people eaters". But hes not an ass about it when cashiers are like "wtf?".

[Tama]

Purple people eaters?

[Cat Herder]

Maybe she thinks only the warning on that label applies to that pack of cigarettes? So by getting those, she'll harm other people but not get cancer or anything herself?

If that is what she thinks, then she must be the sort who thinks that as long as she has checks in her checkbook, she still has money in her checking account.

[Cat Herder]

Cat Herder Fantasy:

Sucktomer: Gimme a boxton cartpack of Newcamelment Winstboro Lights gold blue menthol lights green violet and NO MENTHOL!

Cat Herder: Hiiiiiiiiiiiii...!

Sucktomer: I said, "Gimme a cartbox of Extra Menthol Nukeport Camelboro, and I don't want none of that menthol shit in it!"

Cat Herder: *takes drag from joint and blows weed smoke into SC's face* Uhhhh, whaaaaaaat?

A boy can dream, can't he?