Adventures in Drawing Land

[KhirasHY]

It was bound to happen that, after I started lurking back here some more, I would come up with some brand new SCs to share. Thankfully, the insanity is rather toned down for these first ones (small favors and all).

Are they really your friends then?

SC: Yeah, can you connect me to (room #)?
Me: Could you tell me the last name of the person in there?
SC: Uhhhhhh...(dead air, 10-15 seconds)...I don't know their last name.
Me: /facepalm...ok, do you know their first name?
SC: Uhhhhhh...(dead air, another 10-15 seconds, then talks to someone else)...hey, what's her first name?
SC2: Uh, I don't know man.
SC: Uhhh...we don't know, but I think that's their room.
Me: Sorry, but I can't just connect you without being sure...if you don't know who you're calling, that doesn't really help.
SC: Uhhhhh............ok, I'll just call their cell phone. *click*

So, you want to speak to your friend. Your friend who is staying at the hotel. Your friend who, though you apparently know neither their first or last names, is in your cell phone contacts. You have, quite possibly, the information I'm asking for literally in your pocket, though given the sound of burning machinery that sounds every time you tried to think during that conversation, I can only assume that you have them saved as "Boo Boo Honey Bitchsmack 9000" or "Alka-Seltzer Solution Douche" in your phone. Maybe if you call back and ask for "ASS'D" you'll confirm that for me. Just tell them to come outside for your drug deal...I'm not Security any more. Honestly, as long as you don't poop on anything or shoot me, the amount of fucks I give is somewhat lesser than it was before.

Just let me draw you the damn map!

Not a difficult story, no funny punchline, but this guy asks me if I can print him a map to a 24 hour Walgreens...but he doesn't know which one it is, and neither their website (nor Google) lists which ones are 24 hours. He asks for a printout with all the local ones listed, which Google Maps does easily, so I say great, and we find the one he allegedly needs. He then asks how to get there, so I describe the route and start drawing it out for him...and he keeps drawing over it with a route that goes a different direction, asking "This way?" Then, because he gets confused, I have to print out a NEW map, draw it again, only to have him do the SAME DAMN THING again! This happens about 5 times before I finally just put my pen down and steal the one he's been using, then when I draw the map out the 6th time, I take the pen back so he has nothing to draw with.

SC: Oh, I get it now!

No shit, you ass. It's amazing how much easier the map is to read when you don't draw stupid shit all over it, isn't it? Maybe it's a good thing that you're going off to get your medication...

Ah, Round 2

New SC: Yeah, can you connect me to (room #)?
Me: Do you have the name of the guest in the room?
SC: Uhhhhhhhh... (once again, the sound of breaking machinery, dead hamsters, and so on) ...I don't know.
Me: You don't know the first or last name?
SC: No...they're expecting me.
Me: But you don't know who they are?
SC: Uhhhhh....Ronny?
Me: /facepalm...No, there's no Ronny that I'm showing.
SC: You can't just call them up for me and tell them I'm here?
Me: Ma'am, it's after midnight...unless I'm 100% sure of the room, I can't call them at this hour. If you had a first name that matched that would be something at least, but we don't even have that much.
SC: Oh. Uh...I'll just call their cell phone then. *click*

Once again, we've reached a pivotal moment in the conversation where you apparently have access to this person's contact information, yet you don't know who the hell you're trying to CALL. Has it ever occurred to you that, when you planned your little visit to the hotel (btw, definitely drug runners now They all show up with empty backpacks and leave with different backpacks), you may want to ask important questions like "hey, what's your name?" or "hey, should I remember to wipe after I shit this time, or should I just run over there and have you remind me in person?" It isn't that complicated. I mean, really, you're supposed to be AVOIDING attention, not garnering it. Go away, and call them so they can "sneak you in the side entrance", which was totally unnecessary.

Pukecheese

Part of my occasional job is helping out in the kitchen at times...not often, but usually I end up doing it a couple times a week. I don't mind it really...I also get to work the bar when I do that, and I end up rolling in extra tips that may or may not be reported after a shift That said, we had a deviation in the food we normally cook, and I was the one who really got hit by it the worst.

See, we have a nacho bar that we run, but for some reason the canned fake cheese we normally put out - which is barely edible looking in the first place - just started looking wrong with the latest shipment. Normally, it's a bright yellow, but now it's turned into a neon orange which is gag-inducing to see. I'm not exaggerating either, cooking the stuff 3 days last week, I had to use every trick I knew to stop my gag reflex so I didn't puke back in the kitchen. Even writing about this stuff is enough to make me stop and focus to avoid retching on my laptop, so it's not exactly "pleasant" in any sense of the word.

And that's before it gets cooked. The smell afterward is awful...I can't even describe it, but it hangs on everything like the pallor of death itself. It took 3 days, but I finally got the managers to send pictures of the stuff to the distribution office with complaints, hoping that they will send stuff that isn't that disgusting, and we're not cooking up any of the cheese we have (we checked cans from 3 separate shipments that all came on the same truck, and they all look like that). At least we're not being told to serve the disgusting crap anyway, but for 3 days people were still eating that stuff. BLECH!!!

That's all so far for right now...I bet I get a bit more of my random (room #) callers later on though. That room seems like it is going to annoy me...

Edit: And the addition to the story now, the (room #) story has grown to 16 callers in 2 hours time...none of whom knew who they were calling. God. Dammit.

Edit 2: Add hookers to the mix! Now people are showing up to go up to the room, in addition to the Backpack Changers. Every time, it's a large man with a ridiculous amount of jewelry on, and a scantily clad, skinny, drugged out looking woman with him. It's literally a scene out of a bad movie about pimps, but every guy actually looks like that. Of course, I have no PROOF of this, but I've done thing long enough to know a hooker when I see one

[bhskittykatt]

The callers. We get those all the time at my motel, too. At least yours are being fairly polite. I often get called things such as a "stupid f**king c**t" when I refuse to connect them.

[KhirasHY]

Update, I found out from others that there was more to the story of (room #). Apparently, they arrived the morning of the 22nd at about 3am, and paid in cash for their room...later that day, about 7am, they had some issue with their keys not working, and flipped the hell out. There was much screaming about it being an emergency, almost as if they had left an infant child in the room (which they didn't, but you get my meaning), and they ended up getting their room comped.

But there was a mistake: they were only supposed to get the room comped, and be set to check out...but they screamed more and managed to get last night included in their stay (grr), which is why I had to deal with them. My drug suspicions were confirmed when I heard that they were absolutely terrified that someone would go into their room, which means they probably had quite a bit of drugs in the room that they were preparing to ship out. We still can't prove anything (I mean, we could've just walked into the room, but the likelihood of someone being shot if we did that means it's not worth it), but I've done this long enough to know dealers when I see them. And these ones aren't exactly subtle.

Definitely some suckage from them, but they are being told the room is not available tonight, and they will not be invited back any time soon. I'm loathe to imagine what their room will look like after they leave today, but it can't be good...worst case scenario though is that it smells like cat piss, which means the room was a hotel meth lab for a night. That means it's seriously dangerous (especially since the windows don't open), and there will be a ton of crap to deal with afterward. Hopefully it's just pot, ecstasy, and other minor stuff that tends to be more popular in this state...those, honestly, are things that I can deal with

[PepperElf]

i'm betting it makes you wish you didn't have to accept cash-only transactions.

cos with a credit card, you could at least (hopefully, assuming it's not stolen) ... have the room checked for drugs left behind and then give their info to the police.

[KhirasHY]

i'm betting it makes you wish you didn't have to accept cash-only transactions.

cos with a credit card, you could at least (hopefully, assuming it's not stolen) ... have the room checked for drugs left behind and then give their info to the police.

Yeah, every time I take a cash paying guest, I wonder what kind of person they'll be. We have one guy who stays that's crazy smart, for instance, in that he's incredibly intelligent and may be crazy (but he seems harmless). Then we have rooms like this, but most of them are more or less neutral. Working in a property that's not as pretentious as my last hotel really has meant that people are far more down to earth, which is nice.