I Hate Everyone. (I swear. A lot.)

[Gaki]

I'm now done with you now.

SC: Where's my coffee? Where'd you put my coffee?
Me: Your what, sir?
SC: MY COFFEE?!!??!!?!?!?
Me: I didn't put your coffee anywhere. I've been here the whole time.
SC: Well SOMEONE TOOK IT. WHO TOOK IT?!?!?!?!
Me: I'm not sure. One of my coworkers might have picked it up if you left it somewhere.
SC: Picked it up!? And put it where?
Me: Well she probably would have gotten rid of it.
SC: WHAT?!
Me: That's what we do when a drink is left out. We get rid of it.
SC: TELL HER SHE'S AN IDIOT! (mumbles and is ignored by me while he makes another coffee) Fucking stupid bitch, fucking idiot. I fucking hate this place, goddamn motherfucking stupid sons of bitches, she's fucking useless.

I told my CW who did it (who heard the whole thing and just quietly enjoyed it) that when he comes in again, keep an eye on him and dump his coffee out while he isn't looking. I was serious.

The PA sound goes off.

Me: How can I help you?
SC: MY PUMP ISN'T WORKIIIIIING!!!!
Me: Did you pay with cash?
SC: YES!!!
Me: *tries to reset it but it goes back on a card.* It came up as a Visa card, if you want to restart the pump I'll have to do the transaction over.
SC: WHYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????? ??????
Me: *sigh* Because if you pick the pump up and put it down or wait for ten minutes or longer to pump, the pump will reset. The money goes back on the card automatically.
SC: WHAT ABOUT MY GAS REWARDS?!
Me: I can give you the (basic) but not the (earned.)
SC: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!

She did end up coming in, paying cash (by throwing it at me with a sulky-bitchy look) and only getting the basic rewards. She was pissed when she threw her money though because I stared at it on the counter and said, "What am I doing with that?" Like I could read her mind...? I wasn't even the one who originally rang her out.

Two guys got in a verbal fight about what spot they had in line. If shit had gotten real they would have heard just how loud my voice can go. And they might have figured out just how fast the po-po can get there. (There are two stations equidistant from the store and they are both about a mile away. They get there DAMN QUICK.)

They didn't get there damn quick for this guy.

It was a busy night for the cops the other night because it took them at least 20 minutes to respond to me after I called.

CW turns to me and says, "I think that guy is really fucked up."

I ring him out next and agree. We look at each other, I look outside, and then I pick up the phone and dial the police. He's sitting in the driver's seat.

When the police finally do show up, he's STILL THERE and they force him to get his wife to pick him up. They couldn't get a DUI on him because he didn't have the key in the ignition.

Dear Men,

There are only women working. If you are going to complain about how the men's room looks/smells/is in general, then you will have to LET US FREAKING CLEAN IT. Why is it that men are the pickiest about their bathroom experience but when we're trying to clean it, they WON'T LET US. Everyone is just like, "It'll just be a second, I have to gooooo! Can I just go?!!?!?" NO. FUCKING WAIT YOUR GODDAMN ELITIST ASS SO I CAN GET THIS FUCKING CLEAN SO YOU GUYS CAN STOP BITCHING LIKE LITTLE PUSSIES ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't like it, I'll be sure to leave the papertowels and spray bottles so you can do it yourself.

Love, Me.

[Amina516]

(There are two stations equidistant from the store and they are both about a mile away. They get there DAMN QUICK.)

They didn't get there damn quick for this guy.

Post work beer on my monitor. Thanks.

In other news, you have the patience of a Saint. Please let me know when that guys coffee goes "missing".

[Dentarthurdent]

There are only women working. If you are going to complain about how the men's room looks/smells/is in general, then you will have to LET US FREAKING CLEAN IT. Why is it that men are the pickiest about their bathroom experience but when we're trying to clean it, they WON'T LET US. Everyone is just like, "It'll just be a second, I have to gooooo! Can I just go?!!?!?" NO. FUCKING WAIT YOUR GODDAMN ELITIST ASS SO I CAN GET THIS FUCKING CLEAN SO YOU GUYS CAN STOP BITCHING LIKE LITTLE PUSSIES ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, I get so tired of hearing people bitch at me about one or the other of our bathrooms being cleaned. It stands to reason that any time of day that the restroom is being cleaned, we have a janitor who presents as one particular gender, no? So if they're cleaning the restroom of the opposite gender, according to our rules, they have to close that restroom. This leaves the disenfranchised People With An Urgent Pee (TM) with only the ADA-accessible restroom to use. It has one toilet. OH THE BITCHING.

I had someone come up to me one time and bitch at me because said ADA restroom was being used when they wanted to take their kid in there. They kept calling it the "family restroom" and I said it was an ADA restroom and I couldn't control who used it, and if the other restroom was closed that it would have a line. Cue catbutt face.

The best was when I had a conversation with this woman who was extremely angry with me personally, as well as the company in general and our hotel in particular. Went like this:
"WHY CAN'T YOU HAVE THEM CLEAN ONE STALL AT A TIME WHILE PEOPLE ARE STILL USING IT???"
"Well, Ma'am, the person who cleans it is male, and-"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"
"..."

[MoonCat]

"Well, Ma'am, the person who cleans it is male, and-"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"

This, of course, is the person who would come running out of there screaming her head off if a man was cleaning the restroom while she was in there.

[Monterey Jack]

This, of course, is the person who would come running out of there screaming her head off if a man was cleaning the restroom while she was in there.

This is why, on that thankfully rare occasions I have to clean the women's bathroom, I always knock loudly to make sure no one is in there, then prop the door open with the cleaning cart, so any customers approaching the bathroom will immediately know that someone is in there cleaning.

[Dentarthurdent]

This is why, on that thankfully rare occasions I have to clean the women's bathroom, I always knock loudly to make sure no one is in there, then prop the door open with the cleaning cart, so any customers approaching the bathroom will immediately know that someone is in there cleaning.

The "restroom closed" signs and bar across the door sometimes don't stop people. They just walk in because their piss is so much more urgent than anyone else's.

[Marmalady]

[B] Everyone is just like, "It'll just be a second, I have to gooooo! Can I just go?!!?!?"

I don't even get asked, a lot of the time. They just come in (pushing the cleaning cart aside) and walk straight up to the urinals.

Apparently when I'm in uniform, I cease to be female.

[Gaki]

I don't even get asked, a lot of the time. They just come in (pushing the cleaning cart aside) and walk straight up to the urinals.

Apparently when I'm in uniform, I cease to be female.

I get that too but usually I think it's because they only see me from the back and from the back I look like a very tiny male. They seem shocked when they turn around zipping up and I'm still there cleaning the sink and I'm NOT MALE.

Honey badger don't give a fuck, you wanna whip your dick out while I'm in there, just don't put it anywhere near ME.

[Pixilated]

I'm now done with you now.
*snip*
Me: That's what we do when a drink is left out. We get rid of it.
SC: TELL HER SHE'S AN IDIOT! (mumbles and is ignored by me while he makes another coffee) Fucking stupid bitch, fucking idiot. I fucking hate this place, goddamn motherfucking stupid sons of bitches, she's fucking useless.

I told my CW who did it (who heard the whole thing and just quietly enjoyed it) that when he comes in again, keep an eye on him and dump his coffee out while he isn't looking. I was serious.

Love it. I mean, if he's serious about "I fucking hate this place," why doesn't he take his entitled self somewhere else? (Of course, if he "loses" enough cups of coffee, he might just do that, no?)

And to be fair to the Pee People, sometimes the bladder signals are indeed at Defcon 1, and not because the person kept putting it off in order to do something more interesting. However ... restrooms DO have to be cleaned. This is why people like me have a mental list/map of every public washroom for blocks around any given location. A little bit of preparedness can go a long way.

[XCashier]

Love it. I mean, if he's serious about "I fucking hate this place," why doesn't he take his entitled self somewhere else? (Of course, if he "loses" enough cups of coffee, he might just do that, no?)

Perhaps every other place around already banned the idiot? Seriously, dude, if the staff are always dumping your cup of coffee when you leave it and wander off, perhaps you ought to, oh, maybe not abandon your coffee?!

I have no sympathy for the deliberately stupid.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

This, of course, is the person who would come running out of there screaming her head off if a man was cleaning the restroom while she was in there.

And probably the same one who would come screaming out of the restroom if she were to see the word "penis" scratched into one of the walls and complaining to the nearest employee about "obscenities".


Last time I checked, "penis" was not considered an obscene word.

[Marmalady]

you wanna whip your dick out while I'm in there, just don't put it anywhere near ME.

If they do insist on walking in and using the bathroom anyway, I'm out of there - apart from not wanting to see their family jewels, I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to go to the manager and try to make out that I deliberately walked in on them. (And I don't think I'm being paranoid, not when I consider some of the stories I've seen posted on here of how SC's re-write facts to suit themselves).

[Gaki]

If they do insist on walking in and using the bathroom anyway, I'm out of there - apart from not wanting to see their family jewels, I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to go to the manager and try to make out that I deliberately walked in on them. (And I don't think I'm being paranoid, not when I consider some of the stories I've seen posted on here of how SC's re-write facts to suit themselves).

We have so many cameras in the store and I'm just butch enough that it could never fly.

[Jester]

I was thinking of this thread today when I was out running errands.

I was in the office supply store when I realized that Mother Nature was calling. Not remembering if they had a restroom there, but knowing I had not found what I was looking for, that I was heading to the grocery store next, and that the grocery store did have a restroom, I deferred answering the call, and casually walked out of the office supply store, smiling at the very short and very cute girl who's always at the print shop desk. (And wondering why I never see her out and about, but just at her job?)

And I casually strolled into the grocery store, over to the restrooms.....

.....and there is a female employee, with the cleaning cart propping the men's room door open, and effectively blocking it as well.

The call, however, was getting more urgent. And we're not talking waterfalls, but prairie dogs.

The cleaning woman saw me standing there, and I politely asked if she'd be much longer, knowing that if she was, I'd have to find another pit stop...and quickly. Either she was about done or saw the semi-urgent look on my face, but she said "just one moment", finished polishing the mirror on the door, while I patiently waited, then blessedly cleared her cart away and allowed me access. Where I made a beeline for a stall. And realized that she had, in fact, been about done, because the restroom was as immaculate as I've ever seen it. (I've used that one a lot.)

The whole time I was thinking, "This seems like that thread on CS....."