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A Wild Shrew Appears
The desk manager tries logic! It's not very effective!
Names changed to protect the insane...and my coworkers.
Pull up your chairs, boys and girls...it's going to get special in here.
Apparently this morning, this guest (let's call her Shrew; it's what my mother said when I told her this story) called my manager to make a reservation. She arrived at my little chunk of the desk sometime in the early afternoon, and shortly went ballistic on me because I said (as I usually do to confirm someone's room type) that she had a full size bed. She told me that the man she'd made the reservation with had told her she had a bed in between the sizes of full and queen.
Since there is obviously no such bed type, I told her as much (politely) and suggested that maybe he'd actually said it was between a twin and a queen, since that's true. No, no, that wasn't what he'd said, and she couldn't see how two people could possibly sleep on a full size bed. I said that we did have a room with a queen bed available, but it was more expensive (by about $70) because it had a better view. So we could upgrade her. No, that wasn't acceptable, she wasn't paying for an upgrade. I offered to let her see the room, perhaps that would help her decide whether the bed was big enough and we could go from there. No, that wasn't any good. At this point I sort of shrugged my shoulders and pulled over my supervisor, Jane.
Jane is a very no-nonsense British ex-pat, who talked to her for about five minutes before seeing she wasn't going to get anywhere that she hadn't already been before in this conversation. She too-cheerily offered to get the desk manager, Rob, involved, since he was the one who'd made the reservation. At this point I've scuttled off into the back office to attack some cookies and explain to other coworkers (“What the HELL is going on up there?”), since there is now shouting (from the Shrew) and it's very distracting and obvious. So I hear bits and pieces of Rob's conversation with her, in between eating cookies and helping other guests. He told me later that Shrew went on for a good five minutes before he had any inkling what she was talking about. It wasn't so much that she was a non-native English speaker as that she used her ample grasp of English in varied novel ways.
Amazingly, Rob offered Shrew the same two options I had given her: she could pay to upgrade to a queen bed with a better view, or she could stay in the room she'd reserved. After it was firmly established that this was unacceptable, he also offered to give her back all her money (which we pretty much NEVER do) and she could seek lodging in [small town outside the park], since the park was sold out. At one point, according to Rob, she actually shouted at him that she'd heard exactly what she wanted to hear (regarding the size of the bed). Nonetheless, she expected him to bend over backwards while kissing her ass and pulling an imaginary bed type out of his own ass (I wish I were artistically gifted enough to draw this happening). Actually I'm not sure what she wanted, but that's my best guess.
All of this went on for a good half hour. I was pretty impressed with Rob. I hadn't seen him under high pressure before. Though a friend, in times long past, had him as a manager and reports that at the time he had no spine, he appears to have grown one by now. Also, unlike other managers I could mention, he does not shout back at people who shout, though he was very visibly annoyed. I'm sure he was having extra fun due to the hundreds of noisy people crammed into our lobby (no one plans for their vacation, and it's monsoon season). At one point I heard Shrew telling him he should have read her mind and given her the queen size room this morning when she made the reservation. He went back and forth with her for a while about how there were only rooms with a full bed available at that time, and how he couldn't have foreseen that there would be a queen room later, since it was a cancellation. Finally Rob asked me to come back to my post (I think I was at the next computer) and check Shrew in.
Shrew was not done. Shrew began yelling at Rob some more that she wanted his business card. He said we don't have business cards, but that he'd be happy to write down his name and position and contact information for her. Of course this convinced her that we were a rinky-dink operation (alas, I'm paraphrasing) and in frustration (or some other powerful emotion) she shouted “FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! IN THE MIDDLE OF [PARK]! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORM!” I somehow kept a straight face through all this, though I have to admit it was really difficult. I mean, WHAT? So I'm standing in there in that very awkward position where you've been told to do something for someone, but that someone is still actively shouting at your boss about how they aren't doing enough.
Shrew demanded to speak to Rob's boss. At this point he (internally) threw up his hands and said “Yes, you can do that.” But he told her she was in another building, and he would have to call her, so it might be a few minutes before she would arrive. Rob went in the back office to make the call. Shrew asked me where Rob's boss was. I explained that she was not in this building. She pointed vaguely at the ceiling (in a one-story building) and asked “didn't he say she was here?” Uh, NO. He specifically told you she's in a different building. You hear what you want to hear, remember?
Shrew asked me in a sad attempt to gain sympathy if she could at least get her keys. I said I could certainly check her in, I would just need a photo ID and credit card. Surprisingly, this was not an issue, but she said she would like to see the room first. At this point I just really wanted to get her away from my desk, so I got the bellman to show her the room. He bitched at me later for not warning him that she was psycho, although apparently she was perfectly civil to him, and the only thing I could have given him was a general code word that meant “this guest is difficult, tread carefully”. Inconveniently, it's not a code word we can say aloud.
I went in the back to tell Rob she was looking at the room, and he had his boss wait a minute so he could hear what I had to say. When I told him she was looking at the room he did a massive facepalm that covered most of his head. She came back from looking at the room and checked in with me, now all smiles. Rob came back up and told her that what his boss suggested was to call around to the other desk managers and see if they could find her a room with a bigger bed.
I followed Rob into the back office when he went back to count his cash and said “From the bottom of my heart! In the middle of the [Park]! In the middle of the storm! That's how I'm going to greet you from now on!” We both cracked up laughing. He was like “Sure, we can laugh about it NOW.” I tried to tell him about her saying that his boss was in this building and pointing at the ceiling but I was laughing too hard to remember what I was talking about and had to start over a couple times.
Within the next hour, I saw a coworker putting the room in an account type we only use to transfer deposits to another hotel/lodge within the park. Yep, we shuffled her off to another lodge (where she'd had a room the night before) just to make her shut up.
Names changed to protect the insane...and my coworkers.
Pull up your chairs, boys and girls...it's going to get special in here.
Apparently this morning, this guest (let's call her Shrew; it's what my mother said when I told her this story) called my manager to make a reservation. She arrived at my little chunk of the desk sometime in the early afternoon, and shortly went ballistic on me because I said (as I usually do to confirm someone's room type) that she had a full size bed. She told me that the man she'd made the reservation with had told her she had a bed in between the sizes of full and queen.
Since there is obviously no such bed type, I told her as much (politely) and suggested that maybe he'd actually said it was between a twin and a queen, since that's true. No, no, that wasn't what he'd said, and she couldn't see how two people could possibly sleep on a full size bed. I said that we did have a room with a queen bed available, but it was more expensive (by about $70) because it had a better view. So we could upgrade her. No, that wasn't acceptable, she wasn't paying for an upgrade. I offered to let her see the room, perhaps that would help her decide whether the bed was big enough and we could go from there. No, that wasn't any good. At this point I sort of shrugged my shoulders and pulled over my supervisor, Jane.
Jane is a very no-nonsense British ex-pat, who talked to her for about five minutes before seeing she wasn't going to get anywhere that she hadn't already been before in this conversation. She too-cheerily offered to get the desk manager, Rob, involved, since he was the one who'd made the reservation. At this point I've scuttled off into the back office to attack some cookies and explain to other coworkers (“What the HELL is going on up there?”), since there is now shouting (from the Shrew) and it's very distracting and obvious. So I hear bits and pieces of Rob's conversation with her, in between eating cookies and helping other guests. He told me later that Shrew went on for a good five minutes before he had any inkling what she was talking about. It wasn't so much that she was a non-native English speaker as that she used her ample grasp of English in varied novel ways.
Amazingly, Rob offered Shrew the same two options I had given her: she could pay to upgrade to a queen bed with a better view, or she could stay in the room she'd reserved. After it was firmly established that this was unacceptable, he also offered to give her back all her money (which we pretty much NEVER do) and she could seek lodging in [small town outside the park], since the park was sold out. At one point, according to Rob, she actually shouted at him that she'd heard exactly what she wanted to hear (regarding the size of the bed). Nonetheless, she expected him to bend over backwards while kissing her ass and pulling an imaginary bed type out of his own ass (I wish I were artistically gifted enough to draw this happening). Actually I'm not sure what she wanted, but that's my best guess.
All of this went on for a good half hour. I was pretty impressed with Rob. I hadn't seen him under high pressure before. Though a friend, in times long past, had him as a manager and reports that at the time he had no spine, he appears to have grown one by now. Also, unlike other managers I could mention, he does not shout back at people who shout, though he was very visibly annoyed. I'm sure he was having extra fun due to the hundreds of noisy people crammed into our lobby (no one plans for their vacation, and it's monsoon season). At one point I heard Shrew telling him he should have read her mind and given her the queen size room this morning when she made the reservation. He went back and forth with her for a while about how there were only rooms with a full bed available at that time, and how he couldn't have foreseen that there would be a queen room later, since it was a cancellation. Finally Rob asked me to come back to my post (I think I was at the next computer) and check Shrew in.
Shrew was not done. Shrew began yelling at Rob some more that she wanted his business card. He said we don't have business cards, but that he'd be happy to write down his name and position and contact information for her. Of course this convinced her that we were a rinky-dink operation (alas, I'm paraphrasing) and in frustration (or some other powerful emotion) she shouted “FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! IN THE MIDDLE OF [PARK]! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORM!” I somehow kept a straight face through all this, though I have to admit it was really difficult. I mean, WHAT? So I'm standing in there in that very awkward position where you've been told to do something for someone, but that someone is still actively shouting at your boss about how they aren't doing enough.
Shrew demanded to speak to Rob's boss. At this point he (internally) threw up his hands and said “Yes, you can do that.” But he told her she was in another building, and he would have to call her, so it might be a few minutes before she would arrive. Rob went in the back office to make the call. Shrew asked me where Rob's boss was. I explained that she was not in this building. She pointed vaguely at the ceiling (in a one-story building) and asked “didn't he say she was here?” Uh, NO. He specifically told you she's in a different building. You hear what you want to hear, remember?
Shrew asked me in a sad attempt to gain sympathy if she could at least get her keys. I said I could certainly check her in, I would just need a photo ID and credit card. Surprisingly, this was not an issue, but she said she would like to see the room first. At this point I just really wanted to get her away from my desk, so I got the bellman to show her the room. He bitched at me later for not warning him that she was psycho, although apparently she was perfectly civil to him, and the only thing I could have given him was a general code word that meant “this guest is difficult, tread carefully”. Inconveniently, it's not a code word we can say aloud.
I went in the back to tell Rob she was looking at the room, and he had his boss wait a minute so he could hear what I had to say. When I told him she was looking at the room he did a massive facepalm that covered most of his head. She came back from looking at the room and checked in with me, now all smiles. Rob came back up and told her that what his boss suggested was to call around to the other desk managers and see if they could find her a room with a bigger bed.
I followed Rob into the back office when he went back to count his cash and said “From the bottom of my heart! In the middle of the [Park]! In the middle of the storm! That's how I'm going to greet you from now on!” We both cracked up laughing. He was like “Sure, we can laugh about it NOW.” I tried to tell him about her saying that his boss was in this building and pointing at the ceiling but I was laughing too hard to remember what I was talking about and had to start over a couple times.
Within the next hour, I saw a coworker putting the room in an account type we only use to transfer deposits to another hotel/lodge within the park. Yep, we shuffled her off to another lodge (where she'd had a room the night before) just to make her shut up.
How big are people in her world? My girlfriend and I have PLENTY of room in my full-size bed. Hell, when her kids are over, my bed is essentially couch #2, and it's not unusual for all 5 of us (2 adults, 1 teen, 2 kids aged ~12 & 10) to be on my bed at once. (Of course, when that happens, nobody's laying down, but still.)
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