This job will take over my life >.<

[Little Retail Rabbit]

I am not proud of the fact that I swear a lot when I am angry but I do. But right now, I am so angry that I can't swear. I CAN'T swear!

I had all my holiday allocated FOR me. My manager lied. She knows I am in a long-distance relationship and that I can't book a trip to see my fiance yet- for one I have only seen him a month ago. Two, I haven't got the money. And, as I told her on multiple occassions, even if I book the date and then try to book the flight later on, there's no guarantee that the flight will actually be affordable, as the prices go up and down like a roller coaster. One moment it will be about £400 return, and the next it will increase by £200 or more (happened to me last year).

Oh and the airline isn't even accepting bookings too far in advance right now anyway.

She told me I could keep 2 weeks (out of 5) free to book my next visit, but she lied to me. Now she has booked two weeks for me in March that I can't even book and may not even be able to afford and just expects me to deal with it. I actually told her that thanks to this, I may not actually see my fiance within the next year now. Not that she cares.

What boggles my mind- (and I accept that this part isn't really her fault, but she still LIED to me) is that our HR department (or shouldn't that be IHR for INhuman Resources; I really hate our HR dept) actually sent holiday slips to us in March (just as I was leaving to see my fiance for the first time in a year) demanding that we all have our holidays booked for April '11-March '12 ... BEFORE April 1st 2011! Now, I definately understand (and appreciate) the first-come first-served basis, but under my previous manager (I have been at this company for over 4 and half years now) we never had this problem, and before HR started this ridiculous rule, we never had problems either. We could have the odd week floating about till about October and it wouldn't be an issue. So all my colleague were badgered into booking and my manager lied about letting me keep my 2 weeks...

Oh I hate my job so much, I almost walked out today. To add insult to injury, she gave me a very grubby job that involved me sitting under a leak and having dirty yellow water dripping on my head for 2 hours (no, not pee, it just looks like that...not that it makes me feel that much better). I am such a fantastic actress...no one has any idea that I was fighting back tears for 3 hours. I've hated this job for a long time now, and I've felt that it's steadily taking over my life- a poxy part-time shop job that was only ever meant to be a means to an end- and now, the slave drivers who look down on us and view as some sort of zombies or robots have now made it that I may not see my fiance at all within the next year. I have been with him for 7 years, and we've faced some hard times, but this is getting ridiculous.

I'm sorry...I know I'm a newbie, but I thought is anyone would understand it would be the members of this forum

I'm gonna go get drunk and listen to heavy metal now .___.

(And the sad thing is that apparently similar things are happening in other companies, my mum said they had to do something similar at her work too).

[Kristev]

I'm sorry about all that.

[Salted Grump]

Not sure about local laws, and what the company handbook says, but it may be illegal. (Plus health concerns about having to work in contaminated water without proper protective gear.)

Document oodles, and consider Hostile Work Environment.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

That really stinks. Depending on your job market (locally), walking might be an option. Also, what do you do? What would entail being dripped on for that length of time?

[Geek King]

Not sure what your industry is Little Rabbit, but unfortunately, booking vacation up to a year in advance can be the norm in certain jobs/industries. I'd talk to your HR and see what the rules at your workplace are on the matter.

You may need to start planning way in advance on what time you want to take off, and try to scrimp and save for it. Sometimes things will come up, and you'll be unable to take advantage of the time to see your fiance, but I've found, barring an emergency, you tend to save better for something you know you have to take advantage of.

As an aside, maybe fiance can come to you this time?

[Little Retail Rabbit]

I work for a clothing retail company I am referring to as "Pea Hens" ^^;;

I am just a sales colleague- I work a till, I serve customers, I do cleaning duties, stock replen etc. My job was to resort a hosiery stand which is situated right underneath one of our leaks. The building we are in is practically falling apart and we have several potential leak, and 2 permanent ones. It's been that way for years and despite the regional manager's frustration, maintenance never sorts it out for some reason. It had appeared the leak had stopped when I began my task as the floor was clear and clean, but I suspect it may have been mopped up prior to my shift starting. I couldn't move the stand more than a half a foot and it made no difference, so the leak was on my head- literally. I did ask the AM (Manager had left early) what I should do and she basically told me I had to deal with it.

I personally cannot plan trips that far off in advance- for starters, the airline doesn't even ALLOW it (and no, there aren't other airlines I can use, my fiance is living in Sticksville :P). I do not earn enough money to pay for the more expensive flights (and as selfish as people not in LDRs may think, saving ALL your money and not having a life in the 12 months you don't see each other is not a healthy way to be; you have to continue doing things, within reason of course, otherwise you become miserable and resentful of one another and the relationship disintergrates. It may sound as though I'm just making excuses there, but my fiance and I have been together for 7 years now. We have to continue with activities and hobbies just stay sane...I for one, took up bellydancing) as I do not get enough hours. As I said before, previous to the HR dept making these rules, we didn't actually have to book holiday BEFORE the year began. They did say that holiday would be booked on a first-come-first-served basis, but it was totally ok for us to leave unclaimed weeks for some time. I often did get the slimmer pickings but I was always alright with that, and my manager at the time was very helpful about it. Heck, I actually booked my last trip (March '11) in October '10. This was not a problem then.

HR have apparently made this rule themselves, and I won't ever waste a second more of my life trying to contact them. I have tried to contact them in the past, and I was either COMPLETELY ignored by my HR rep (I left messages for her and everything), or else, when I did manager to speak to someone, I was patronised and then promptely forgotten anyway.

I have been seriously unhappy at my job for a very long time. The first 6 months were great and then everything went down hill. The last year and half has been the worst. I've had false complaints made against me, and my anxiety and depression have gotten worse. There were some improvements when the new manager came, but also some deterioation, and now I can't even see my fiance for over a year. I would so walk if I could (and to be honest, if something like this happens again, I may have to for the sake of my sanity, because I could break down if this happens again) but the job climate here is atrocious. The Job Centre agents locally sneer at you, and all retail jobs are fiercely competitive due to the recession. I do well in interviews, but the jobs are always too far away with too few hours to make it worth the trip (I would be earning less money and then spending around £80 a month on train fare).

My fiance is planning to get to work ASAP this summer (he is still in college) so he can apply for K1. Its a visa that allows me to enter the US, marry him and stay there. It costs a lot of money and process takes a while to get approved, but he feels that getting the process underway is one of our better options.

[mircea12345]

I got my wife into the country using the immigration process, and if you need any advice on that, let me know. I live in New Orleans, La .

[Little Retail Rabbit]

Thank you so much Mircea The process wasn't too stressful, I hope? It's always nice to meet other people in LDRs n_n

I'm feeling a little better but only because I've got no choice but to hide my feelings. I really do think an honorary Oscar should come my way because nobody seems to have a clue at work at just how angry I am, I've got my manage prattling on to me about any old thing.

I have to say though, she asked an absolutely STUPID question yesterday. She asked me when did I think I'd see my fiance next?

I gritted my teeth and managed a "No idea" in a "don't-wanna-talk-about-tone" and managed to hold in a very sardonic, rude reply. Its the only indication I've shown all week just how absolutely furious I've been. Colin Firth, gimme your trophee pwease :P

[Seshat]

Don't keep the anger so hidden. If you don't let them know how upset you are, how can they ever realise how upset you are?

[Little Retail Rabbit]

There's absolutely no point in trying to explain to them. Most are either too ignorant or stupid or both. Some of them don't even take my relationship with my fiance seriously, and act like its not a real relationship (not uncommon in LDRs, sadly). The times when I have tried to make complaints or tell management etc about problems, its never been taken seriously. I was even bullied by another co-worker very early on, and despite complaints, I was never helped once. I had to stand up for myself (which I understand, of course, one needs to learn to do, but they also told me I couldn't stand up for myself O.o ). A previous AM and I fell out badly, and I told her one day that I wasn't happy with her performance or the way she treated me...I was not rude about it, or abusive, I was actually quite controlled, and she got me into a lot of trouble of it (I think she embellished her account and my side of the story was never listened to). Ever since then, I've been frightened to ever disagree with management, even though generally people find me easy to work with (but thats because I'm a spineless dogsbody). Because of the bitchy environment it is, I don't feel I can trust anyone with my problems...I have been stabbed in the back and let down so many times. I also desperately need this reference so I need to NOT fall out with my manager at all costs We came close to an arguement the other day when she told me she was picking my holiday for me- I told her it was unfair and I said "that is not what you told me". But she bat me down, and to persist would have meant calling her a liar to her face.

I really want to learn how to be more assertive, but all past attempts have backfired on me gloriously. I feel like if I get a new job in a completely new place I can start afresh. But I have the worst luck job-hunting

[Alryk]

Wow that really sucks! Your boss telling YOU when you can take your vacation time. I wouldn't let that happen if at all possible. I only hav 2 rules for working for any company. #1) I want to be paid correctly, and on time (I've had issues with this in the past.) and #2) What I do on my own time is my business (i.e. when I decide to use my vacation time. ALthough my present employer does have a use it or lose it policy which I don't like)