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You've had meth for breakfast

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  • You've had meth for breakfast

    The other day, I took what started out as a pretty standard call from someone. They were 3 months behind in their payments, so they received letters saying their policies would be cancelled.

    So they called and wanted the policies reinstated. Sure, no problem at all. Got that sorted, advised what the outstanding payment was, and that the payment would be taken out tonight.

    Cue wails and screams, claiming they can't do that and they wanted to speak to a supervisor.

    Well, that escalated quickly!

    Me: Sure, I'll log that request for you and someone will give you a call back in 48-72 hours (which is our standard process).

    Customer: No, I want to speak to someone now.

    Me: Unfortunately, no one is available to look at this right now...

    Customer: Oh I see you've had meth for breakfast, among other wonderful insults and abuse.

    Me: I can't get someone now, I've told you our escalation process, and if you continue to speak to me like this I'll terminate the call.

    Customer: Continue with the insults - I think fucking cocksucker got thrown around a few times

    Me: Someone will call you back within 48-72 hours regarding your complaint. I'm now terminating the call.

    Ended the call, and cracked up laughing.

    Logged the complaint, and got the ball rolling to escalate it. In that time she called back, and someone had transferred it through to the manager I get along with really well (and always backs me up), where she was equally as abusive (apparently she told him I'd had meth for breakfast too). In the end, he gave her the option of pay up or we're cancelling. She opted to cancel.

    Cue the rest of the week getting into some good banter with said manager about eating meth
    the end of an era is not the completion of a destiny. Momentum comes when we believe the best for the future, we keep speaking life into the future, and we commit to the future - Brian Houston

  • #2
    Because

    Everybody knows the way to prevent a policy being canceled is to insult the person at the other end of the phone line and then insult their supervisor too.

    I am sure that worked great in the past.

    In case anyone missed it, that was irony.

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    • #3
      That's really methed up.
      AkaiKitsune
      Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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      • #4
        Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
        Everybody knows the way to prevent a policy being canceled is to insult the person at the other end of the phone line and then insult their supervisor too.
        You forgot, you have to both demand the policy to be reinstated (with bonus insults) while simultaneously refusing to pay for said policy.

        Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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        • #5
          Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
          In case anyone missed it, that was irony.
          Despite what Alannis said, that's not irony. It's sarcasm. I know, because my wife is from New England, and that's her native languange.
          “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
          One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
          The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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          • #6
            Despite what Nunavut Pants said, Alannis was not wrong, LOL!!!

            I had a brief affair with meth and I have to say that having meth for breakfast is much better than having it for dinner. Extreme sleep deprivation isn't a good look for most people and when you are out of your mind with drugs, even worse.

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            • #7
              I just figured the cursetomer was projecting upon both of you. Maybe he had a hearty breakfast of Crystal-O's with a nice, tall glass of Fireball (a part of this complete breakfast), and just assumed y'all had, too.
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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              • #8
                Quoth brucetiki View Post
                Customer: Oh I see you've had meth for breakfast, among other wonderful insults and abuse......

                Customer: Continue with the insults - I think fucking cocksucker got thrown around a few times.....
                Definitely some projection here

                Quoth brucetiki View Post
                In the end, he gave her the option of pay up or we're cancelling. She opted to cancel.
                How anticlimatic Come to think of it, we clearly have some projection issues here...even meth is not a cheap vice.
                I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                Who is John Galt?
                -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                • #9
                  Quoth Slave to the Phone View Post
                  Despite what Nunavut Pants said, Alannis was not wrong, LOL!!!
                  Irony is a song named "ironic" in which almost nothing is.

                  Or, as a comedienne once said in reference to the inscription on the FDR Memorial (where, due to regulations about making signage accessible to the vision-impaired, the braille on the sign is too big to be readable), "That's the kind of irony you don't get in Alannis Morissette songs."

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                  • #10
                    Meth- it's not just for breakfast anymore!
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
                      That's really methed up.
                      Yeah. Very theriouthly methed up, I agree with your athethment. Downright dethpicable.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                      • #12
                        "You wouldn't try to get high off bacon and eggs would you? So why are you having meth for breakfast?"

                        Or something....
                        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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