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  • Messing with Hubs

    So, Hubs has a new job as a security officer. (He's already had a group of guys drive past him calling him Paul Blart.) He loves his job. Our next-door neighbor helped him get it (and now our neighbor is his supervisor, which could be good or bad, I'm not sure.)

    Anyways, Saturday morning, his assignment just happened to be on my newspaper route. The business is actually one of my customers Monday thru Friday. So I couldn't help myself. He was going to be right there in my delivery area. I had to do something.

    Before leaving work, I grabbed a clean-but-stained sheet from the motel that they weren't using. After finishing my routes (around 5am), I parked next door to this business, grabbed the sheet, put it over me, and ran through the bushes to their parking lot. I started running around the parking lot in random directions, flapping the sheet and going "Wooo! WOOOO!"

    Hubby shined his flashlight at me and said, "Hi honey. What's with the sheet?"

    Me: "You are no fun."
    Hubs: "It's obvious it's you."
    Me: "But....how?"
    Hubs: "It's you. But more importantly, one, I saw you drive by, and I was actually starting to get pissed you weren't going to stop in and say 'hi'. Two, I heard you pull in next door, set your parking break, and shut your car door. Three, I see someone in a sheet who just happens to be running from the same direction as all that. It wasn't hard to connect the dots."
    Me: "....You're no fun."
    Hubs: "And you look like you're insane. Take that sheet off before the neighbors see you!"

    I told Hubs he needed to write it all up in his security log. This business stopped hiring security for a while, and if something like that was in the log Hubs could be like "See? You need us here!" Hubs said he wasn't going to write it in the log. I told him it was his duty as a security officer to record all the events as they unfolded. Hubs said no.

    As far as I can tell, this business mainly hires security so that the nearby apartments won't have their parties spill over into their parking lot (the house across the street is a major party house, and the apartments next door where I parked can get pretty wild as well.) I sometimes have trouble delivering to this business due to broken beer bottles strewn across their driveway and parking lot.
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • #2
    You're right; he's no fun. But I can picture him with a bemused look. Also, what's with you and sheets? 2nd post containing sheets this week.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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    • #3
      Sheets are fun...nuff said.

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      • #4
        Quoth Aethian View Post
        Sheets are fun...nuff said.
        Oh they sure are! </guttermind>
        I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
        Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
        Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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        • #5
          Quoth Aethian View Post
          Sheets are fun...nuff said.
          No sheet? Or between two? But never one sheet between two...
          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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          • #6
            I'm sure you'll change your opinion about Hubs being "no fun" when he gets in the sheet with you.
            To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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