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The Scam Knight Returns (Scams...pt 4?)

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  • The Scam Knight Returns (Scams...pt 4?)

    So I do crowdsourcing sites for some extra Christmas money, and I am sailing through a task that describes in cheesy ways, some houses. Being...semi-intelligent, I spot trouble phrases like "fixer upper" "as-is" and "HOA neighborhood"...

    Until I come to this shithole:

    REO Occupied - the seller does not represent or guarantee occupancy status. NO VIEWINGS of this property. Please DO NOT DISTURB the occupant. "As is" cash only sale with no contingencies or inspections. Buyer will be responsible for obtaining possession of the property upon closing

    There are so many things wrong with this that I don't know where to begin.

    Who is the occupant? Slenderman?
    Is it cursed?
    Is it haunted?
    My Guide to Oblivion

    "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

  • #2
    Hm, I would imagine that it is in an iffy neighborhood, has been empty and squatters moved in after the junkies trashed the place. Maybe even a foreclosure that someone had purchased to flip and discovered that it had been trashed and had squatters in residence.

    Not one I would want to mess with if I were looking for a place to buy.
    EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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    • #3
      Quoth Tama View Post
      Who is the occupant? Slenderman?
      Is it cursed?
      Is it haunted?
      Does the "seller" even own it?
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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      • #4
        Quoth Tama View Post
        Is it cursed?
        Is it haunted?
        How many dead bodies have been stashed in it?

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        • #5
          Quoth dalesys View Post
          Does the "seller" even own it?
          That's what I was thinking. Especially with the "Buyer will be responsible for obtaining possession of the property upon closing"
          "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
          -Mira Furlan

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          • #6
            Or, it's a rental and the owner is selling it out from underneath the renters feet leaving the buyer to sort out the legalities.
            A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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            • #7
              There are few things that I will buy that I have not seen.

              If they cost thousands, tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands of dollars, that list goes from "few" to "none."

              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
              Still A Customer."

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              • #8
                That just screams scam. One of the popular house-buying scams is to sell a house that they don't own, then skip with the money. That description hits all the warnings for such, actually.
                The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                Hoc spatio locantur.

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                • #9
                  Quoth dalesys View Post
                  Does the "seller" even own it?
                  My first thought as well. No viewings? Cash only? No inspections? Do not disturb the current occupant? Definitely screams 'scam.' (I wouldn't think the seller would care about "disturbing the occupant" if said occupant was a squatter.)

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                  • #10
                    And who would buy a house they couldn't live in or rent out anyway? >_>
                    My Guide to Oblivion

                    "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Geek King View Post
                      That just screams scam. One of the popular house-buying scams is to sell a house that they don't own, then skip with the money. That description hits all the warnings for such, actually.
                      Is there someone in authority that can be notified of this activity?
                      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                      My LiveJournal
                      A page we can all agree with!

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                      • #12
                        I don't even know. This is a bit of text the job person probably plucked from some website with real estate. I wouldn't even know where to begin..
                        My Guide to Oblivion

                        "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Tama View Post
                          There are so many things wrong with this that I don't know where to begin.

                          Who is the occupant? Slenderman?
                          Is it cursed?
                          Is it haunted?
                          It's actually my house. My hobby is posting shitty advertisements then trolling the internet looking for people who get weirded out by them
                          "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
                          "What IS fun to fight through?"
                          "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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                          • #14
                            Google is bringing up multiple properties listed with that exact phrasing.

                            ._____.

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                            • #15
                              ...how many people...what...just...WHY?!

                              This makes no sense at all! Why would multiple people...are people that stupid...?
                              My Guide to Oblivion

                              "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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