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  • #31
    Kara,

    Speaking from personal experience you did exactly what you needed to do for him. You were that guiding light to help him through his darkest moment in his life.

    My wife passed away unexpected after the first of the year. In her case we went to bed one night, and when I woke up her up the next morning she was gone. What I remember when I realized when she was gone was that sudden feeling of "I'm alone'. You being there has no doubt in my mind, helped cushion that blow for him.



    Like others has said before, you need to make sure he is eating right, sleeping, and taking care of himself. based on my experience, most likely what is going to happen, is between now and the services he's going to have a lot of people to help him along and he will be so busy, he won't have time to morn. For him, it's going to be after the services when it will the hardest for him. That's when he will sit down, and start to think.


    For everyone else, life will go on pretty much normally, but for him it won't. He will still need someone after him for a while to make sure he's eating/sleeping/ and taking care of himself for a while because, frankly, he won't care. That hardest is going to be the 'firsts' for him. The first day back to work. The first missed birthday, the first anniversary the first holidays etc.
    Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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    • #32
      Quoth drunkenwildmage View Post
      The first day back to work. The first missed birthday, the first anniversary the first holidays etc.
      Yeah, my best friend and I were talking about that yesterday (who is like a big sister to me; the 3 of us are like siblings, John calls us both "sis"). He saw his doctor last week and had just been cleared to come back to work today following his bypass. But all 3 of us have the same days off, so we'll be there for him his first day back.

      At one point she asked me yesterday, "Oh god, what about Thanksgiving?" I said we're all working Thanksgiving day and have the next 2 days off after that. I have no plans at all, since my family will be celebrating on Thursday while I'm at work and there's no reason why I couldn't go over to John's and maybe get a turkey breast or something for the 2 of us. She has no family but us and her husband, so she said she could probably go out there and the 3 of us could have dinner at least that Friday. And after work she said her husband would be happy to go too. We're guessing his sons will come out to the house with their girlfriends too, so we've got that covered. The 2 of us are also already coming up with ideas for Christmas for him.
      "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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      • #33
        Quoth Lady Legira View Post
        *snip*

        You did the only thing that anyone needs at that point. You were there.
        Exactly. You may feel as if you didn't do much, but you saved him from having to go through that alone. Hospital staff do the best they can but it's not the same.

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