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  • Favorite Song Lyrics: Holiday Music Edition!

    Since it's nearly Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I figured it's about time I started one of these threads with a holiday theme!

    And since I know someone might be wondering, I didn't call it the "Christmas Music Edition" because there's more to the holidays than just Christmas. There's also Thanksgiving and New Year's, as well as Hanukkah, which has at least one good, really funny song about it (by Adam Sandler, natch!)

    So, this is the thread for posting your favorite song lyrics about this time of year! I'll start off, with just about the only song I actually like by Blink-182 (or "Stink-182", as I usually call them. )
    "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" by Blink-182

    (Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la)
    ('Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la)


    Outside the carolers start to sing
    I can't describe the joy they bring,
    'cause joy is something they don't bring me


    My girlfriend is by my side
    From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
    Their whiny voices get irritating
    It's Christmas time again


    So I stand with a dead smile on my face,
    wondering how much of my time they'll waste
    Oh God, I hate these Satan's helpers


    And then I guess I must have snapped,
    because I grabbed the baseball bat
    and made them all run for shelter


    It's Christmas time again
    It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
    I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
    You people scare me
    Please stay away from my home
    If you don't wanna get beat down,
    just leave the presents and then leave me alone


    Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve,
    'cause the cops came and arrested me
    They had an unfair advantage


    And even though the jail didn't have a tree,
    Christmas came a night early,
    'cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package (hot damn)


    It's Christmas time again
    It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
    I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
    You people scare me
    Please stay away from my home
    If you don't wanna get beat down,
    just leave the presents and then leave me alone


    I won't be home,
    I won't be home for Christmas
    I won't be home,
    I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
    I won't be home,
    I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
    I won't be home,
    I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
    I won't be home,
    I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
    I won't be home,
    I won't be home for Christmas
    "Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
    --StanFlouride

  • #2
    My favorite is "Elf's Lament" sung by Bare Naked Ladies with Michael Buble. I thought it especially appropriate for this particular community!

    "I'm a man of reason, and they say "'Tis the season to be jolly"
    But it's folly when you volley for position

    Never in existence has there been such a resistance
    To ideas meant to free us
    If you could see us, then you'd listen

    Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
    There's no union
    We're only through when we outdo the competition

    I make toys, but I've got aspirations
    Make some noise
    Use your imagination
    Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
    There's a list for who's been
    Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

    A full indentured servitude can reflect on one's attitude
    But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous

    Absurd though it may seem, you know, I've heard there's even been illegal doping
    And though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious

    You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement
    But when thrown into the moment, we just don't seem so courageous

    I make toys, but I've got aspirations
    Make some noise
    Use your imagination
    Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
    There's a list for who's been
    Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf

    You look at yourself
    You're an elf
    And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories
    Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren't just happy making
    crappy little gizmos
    Every kid knows they'll just throw this stuff away

    We're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition
    We, the undersigned, feel undermined
    Let's redefine "employment"

    We know that we've got leverage, so we'll hand the fat man a beverage
    And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment

    It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow
    He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went

    I make toys, but I've got aspirations
    Make some noise
    Use your imagination
    Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
    There's a list for who's been
    Naughty or nice, but consider the price
    Naughty or nice, but consider the price
    Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf."

    Comment


    • #3
      Not quite a song, but there is a little singing at the beginning...

      Cheech & Chong, "Santa Claus and his Old Lady"
      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
      My LiveJournal
      A page we can all agree with!

      Comment


      • #4
        A lot depends on my mood, but this one of my tops.

        I Believe in Father Christmas
        Emerson, Lake & Palmer

        They said there'll be snow at Christmas
        They said there'll be peace on Earth
        But instead it just kept on raining
        A veil of tears for the Virgin's birth
        I remember one Christmas morning
        A winters light and a distant choir
        And the peal of a bell and that Christmas Tree smell
        And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

        They sold me a dream of Christmas
        They sold me a Silent Night
        And they told me a fairy story
        'Till I believed in the Israelite
        And I believed in Father Christmas
        And I looked at the sky with excited eyes
        'Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
        And I saw him and through his disguise

        I wish you a hopeful Christmas
        I wish you a brave New Year
        All anguish pain and sadness
        Leave your heart and let your road be clear
        They said there'll be snow at Christmas
        They said there'll be peace on Earth
        Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
        The Christmas you get you deserve
        The Case of the Missing Mandrake; A Jude Derry, Sorceress Sleuth Mystery Available on Amazon.

        Comment


        • #5
          "Santa Claus Is Pagan, Too" by Emerald Rose

          Oh, Santa Claus is Pagan too, just like all the rest,
          And if you are a merry Witch he'll bring you all the best,
          So get that star up on the roof, and bake those cookies, too,
          For Christmas-time is really Yule, and Santa's Pagan too!


          He's got that Buddha belly and his top's the Holly King,
          You dressed him in that British coat, the cap's a Nordic thing,
          You took the horns right off his head and stuck them on his deer,
          But he still flies high like Jupiter with a belly-full of beer!

          Oh, Santa Claus is Pagan too, just like all the rest,
          And if you are a merry Witch he'll bring you all the best,
          So get that star up on the roof, and bake those cookies, too,
          For Christmas-time is really Yule, and Santa's Pagan too!

          Now history says Christ was likely not a Capricorn,
          But if you want to share the Yule, we don't care when he's born,
          Come join the celebration of the Sun King's bright rebirth,
          And if you practice what you preach, we'll all have peace on Earth!

          Oh, Santa Claus is Pagan too, just like all the rest,
          And if you are a merry Witch he'll bring you all the best,
          So get that star up on the roof, and bake those cookies, too,
          For Christmas-time is really Yule, and Santa's Pagan too!

          Now Santa's way more jolly than most Christians might require,
          And if he weren't so busy he'd be dancing 'round the fire,
          Yeah, you can call it Christmas 'cause you got us way out-gunned,
          But just you wait till Beltaine then we'll see who's having fun!

          Oh, Santa Claus is Pagan too, just like all the rest,
          And if you are a merry Witch he'll bring you all the best,
          So get that star up on the roof, and bake those cookies, too,
          For Christmas-time is really Yule, and Santa's Pagan too!
          What if Humans are just Dire Halflings?

          Comment


          • #6
            Loreena McKennitt,s The Mummer's Dance

            When in the springtime of the year
            When the trees are crowned with leaves
            When the ash and oak, and the birch and yew
            Are dressed in ribbons fair

            When owls call the breathless moon
            In the blue veil of the night
            The shadows of the trees appear
            Amidst the lantern light


            Chorus:
            We've been rambling all the night
            And some time of this day
            Now returning back again
            We bring a garland gay


            Who will go down to those shady groves
            And summon the shadows there
            And tie a ribbon on those sheltering arms
            In the springtime of the year


            The songs of birds seem to fill the wood
            That when the fiddler plays
            All their voices can be heard
            Long past their woodland days


            Chorus


            And so they linked their hands and danced
            Round in circles and in rows
            And so the journey of the night descends
            When all the shades are gone


            "A garland gay we bring you here
            And at your door we stand
            It is a sprout well budded out
            The work of our Lord's hand"


            Chorus (2x)

            Comment


            • #7
              My December...

              This song is much more melancholy than the typical song about this time of year. It's also one I find very easy to identify with...
              "My December" by Linkin Park

              Green = Sung by Chester Bennington
              Red = Sung by Mike Shinoda

              This is my December
              This is my time of the year
              This is my December
              This is all so clear

              This is my December
              This is my snow-covered home
              This is my December
              This is me alone

              And I…

              Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed
              And I…
              Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that
              And I…
              Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed
              And I…
              Take back all the things that I said to you

              And I'd give it all away
              just to have somewhere to go to
              Give it all away
              to have someone to come home to

              This is my December
              These are my snow-covered trees
              This is me pretending
              this is all I need

              And I…

              Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed
              And I…
              Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that
              And I…
              Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed
              And I…
              Take back all the things that I said to you


              And I'd give it all away
              just to have somewhere to go to
              Give it all away
              to have someone to come home to

              This is my December
              This is my time of the year
              This is my December
              This is all so clear!

              Give it all away
              just to have somewhere to go to
              Give it all away
              to have someone to come home to
              Give it all away
              just to have somewhere to go to
              Give it all away
              to have someone to come home to
              After way too many years spent alone at the holidays, without a special someone to share this time of the year with, I immediately identified with this song the first time I heard it on the radio.
              "Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
              --StanFlouride

              Comment


              • #8
                Fairytale of New York by the Pogues

                It was christmas eve babe
                In the drunk tank
                An old man said to me: won't see another one
                And then they sang a song
                The rare old mountain dew
                I turned my face away and dreamed about you
                Got on a lucky one
                Came in eighteen to one
                I´ve got a feeling
                This year´s for me and you
                So happy christmas
                I love you baby
                I can see a better time
                Where all our dreams come true.

                They got cars big as bars
                They got rivers of gold
                But the wind goes right through you
                It´s no place for the old
                When you first took my hand on a cold christmas eve
                You promised me broadway was waiting for me
                You were handsome you were pretty
                Queen of new york city when the band finished playing they yelled out for more
                Sinatra was swinging all the drunks they were singing
                We kissed on a corner
                Then danced through the night.

                And the boys from the NYPD choir were singing Galway Bay
                And the bells were ringing out for christmas day.

                You´re a bum you´re a punk
                You´re an old slut on junk
                Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
                You scumbag you maggot
                You cheap lousy faggot
                Happy christmas your arse I pray god it´s our last.

                And the boys of the NYPD choir's still singing Galway Bay
                And the bells were ringing out
                For christmas day.

                I could have been someone
                Well so could anyone
                You took my dreams from me
                When I first found you
                I kept them with me babe
                I put them with my own
                Can´t make it out alone
                I´ve built my dreams around you

                And the boys of the NYPD choir's still singing Galway Bay
                And the bells are ringing out
                For christmas day.

                Comment


                • #9
                  "I Want An Alien For Christmas" by Fountains of Wayne

                  This year for Christmas
                  There's something I'd really like
                  So if you're up there somewhere Santa
                  Please don't bring me another bike

                  I don't need any ugly sweaters
                  And I don't play much basketball
                  But there's something kinda special
                  That I want most of all...

                  I want an alien for Christmas
                  Bring me an alien this year
                  I want a little green guy
                  About three feet high
                  With seventeen eyes

                  Who knows how to fly
                  I want an alien for Christmas this year

                  He can live in the bath tub
                  So don't worry about a thing
                  And I'll take him out for walks
                  When it gets nicer in the Spring

                  I'll always keep him company
                  He'll never be alone
                  And we can hang around the house all day
                  And watch the Twilight Zone

                  I want an alien for Christmas
                  Bring me an alien this year
                  I want a little green guy

                  About three feet high
                  With seventeen eyes
                  Who knows how to fly
                  I want an alien for Christmas this year

                  I want an alien for Christmas
                  Bring me an alien this year
                  I want a little green guy
                  About three feet high
                  With seventeen eyes

                  Who knows how to fly
                  I want an alien for Christmas this year
                  I want an alien for Christmas this year
                  I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                  I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                  It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    NSFW! MAJOR PROFANITY WARNING!

                    Kevin "Bloody" Wilson - Ho Ho Fucking Ho

                    Ho ho fucking ho,
                    What a crock o' shit,
                    We all work for Santa Claus,
                    We've had enough, we quit.
                    Cos we do all the fuckin' work while he stars in the show,
                    Stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.

                    I'm Rudolph and I quit.
                    Just who's he think he is?
                    That little fat cunt sat back in the sleigh,
                    crackin' that fuckin' whip.
                    And me stuck up the front, with these other useless cunts,
                    Stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.

                    (Chorus)
                    Ho ho fucking ho,
                    What a crock o' shit,
                    We all work for Santa Claus,
                    We've had enough, we quit.
                    Cos we do all the fuckin' work while he stars in the show,
                    Stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.

                    And what about us elves,
                    we've had enough as well,
                    workin' in that freezing factory, it's cold as fucking hell,
                    we work until we drop, with our bollocks freezin' off,
                    stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.

                    (Chorus)
                    Ho ho fucking ho,
                    What a crock o' shit,
                    We all work for Santa Claus,
                    We've had enough, we quit.
                    Cos we do all the fuckin' work while he stars in the show,
                    Stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.

                    I'm Santa Claus' wife,
                    I know what he's really like,
                    sneakin' into them little kid's rooms
                    he's a fuckin' paedophile,
                    A devious old drunk,
                    and I'm married to the cunt,
                    So stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.

                    (Chorus)
                    Ho ho fucking ho,
                    What a crock o' shit,
                    We all work for Santa Claus,
                    We've had enough, we quit.
                    Cos we do all the fuckin' work while he stars in the show,
                    Stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.
                    Stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.
                    Stick yer Christmas up yer arse, ho ho fucking ho.

                    It was gonna show up sooner or later.

                    B
                    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
                    I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The Pause of Mr. Claus
                      words and music by Arlo Guthrie

                      We're gonna sing you this Christmas carol. It's for all you bastards out there in the audience tonight. It's called "The Pause of Mr. Claus".

                      Why do you sit there so strange?
                      Is it because you are beautiful?
                      You must think you are deranged
                      Why do police guys beat on peace guys?

                      You must think Santa Clause weird
                      He has long hair and a beard
                      Giving his presents for free
                      Why do police guys mess with peace guys?

                      Let's get Santa Clause 'cause;
                      Santa Clause has a red suit
                      He's a communist
                      And a beard, and long hair
                      Must be a pacifist
                      What's in the pipe that he's smoking?

                      Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.
                      He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight
                      Why do police guys beat on peace guys?
                      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Here's one of my classic favorites:

                        White Trash Christmas by Bob Rivers

                        I'm dreamin' of a white trash Christmas
                        We'll decorate the mobile home
                        There'll be cousin's kissin'
                        And front teeth missin'
                        And you'll hear grandpa peein' in the snow

                        I'm dreamin' of a white trash Christmas
                        No Christmas card from my ex-wife
                        I did get a subpoena though
                        Our family tree is leanin' to the right
                        And we'll all be playin' poker Christmas night

                        <spoken>Ladies and gentlemen, one of the Three Wise Men on harmonica!

                        (Harmonica Solo)

                        <spoken>Lets pick out a few presents now

                        We're going to celebrate another white trash Christmas
                        With mad dog wine and miller light
                        And when our hound dog is howlin' through the night
                        He says may all your Christmas' be white

                        <spoken>Oh, ah, pay no attention to that all trespassers will be shot sign
                        That don't apply to you Santa
                        Nice rack on Blitzen though


                        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                          Here's one of my classic favorites:

                          White Trash Christmas by Bob Rivers


                          I absolutely LOVE the Twisted Christmas albums by Bob Rivers! He's overdue to put out another one, I think it's now been a few years since the last one was released.

                          But in keeping with that general idea, here's one of my favorite songs that puts a twisted spin on the holiday...
                          "Christmas at Ground Zero" by Weird Al Yankovic

                          It's Christmas at ground zero,
                          there's music in the air
                          The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
                          while the air raid sirens blare


                          It's Christmas at ground zero
                          The button has been pressed
                          The radio just let us know
                          that this is not a test


                          Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
                          It's the end of all humanity
                          No more time for last-minute shopping
                          It's time to face your final destiny


                          It's Christmas at ground zero,
                          there's panic in the crowd
                          We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
                          underneath the mushroom cloud


                          You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop,
                          or Jack Frost on your windowsill
                          But if someone's climbing down your chimney,
                          you better load your gun and shoot to kill!


                          It's Christmas at ground zero
                          and if the radiation level's okay
                          I'll go out with you and see all the new
                          mutations on New Year's Day


                          It's Christmas at ground zero,
                          just seconds left to go
                          I'll duck and cover with my Yuletide lover
                          underneath the mistletoe


                          It's Christmas at ground zero,
                          now the missiles are on their way
                          What a crazy fluke, we're gonna get nuked
                          on this jolly holiday


                          What a crazy fluke, we're gonna get nuked
                          on this jolly holiday!
                          "Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
                          --StanFlouride

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (youtube link)

                            I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
                            Only a hippopotamus will do
                            Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
                            I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

                            I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
                            I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
                            He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
                            Just bring him through the front door,
                            that's the easy thing to do

                            I can see me now on Christmas morning,
                            creeping down the stairs
                            Oh what joy and what surprise
                            when I open up my eyes
                            to see a hippo hero standing there

                            I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
                            Only a hippopotamus will do
                            No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
                            I only like hippopotamuses
                            And hippopotamuses like me too

                            Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
                            Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian.
                            There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
                            I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage

                            I can see me now on Christmas morning,
                            creeping down the stairs
                            Oh what joy and what surprise
                            when I open up my eyes
                            to see a hippo hero standing there

                            I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
                            Only a hippopotamus will do
                            No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
                            I only like hippopotamuseses
                            And hippopotamuses like me too!

                            1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                            -----
                            http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

                            Comment

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