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This is long and rambling. Sorry about that!
Nearly a year ago somebody started discussing this costume re-making project with me. At the time it sounded like a bit of a pain, but not too bad, and I can always use more work. So I said yes, and I got paid, and he shipped me the stuff he wanted worked on, and I put down his name in my queue, and that was that for a few months.
Then came time to open up the boxes and start work, and things went rapidly downhill.
I found that I hated the project. I mean... I really hated it. It was somebody else's design, something I'd never have made in the first place, and nothing I could do to it would make it something I would want to show off as my best work. So my enthusiasm was a little low to start with. And every step along the way was taking more work than I'd thought, and the whole thing was just no fun, and hardly seemed worth the money I was getting.
And then there was the pee problem. Part of the project involved altering the fit of a jumpsuit. Which, as I pulled it out and got out my needle and thread, I noticed it sort of... stank. It stank a lot. And it stank like the bathrooms at the children's museum where I used to work, where the little kiddies didn't always hit the toilet. I wondered for a bit if somehow one of my cats had peed on it, but really it didn't smell like cat pee, it smelled like human pee. And there was no way on earth I was going to sew something that had been peed on! Ugh!
When I finally got up the gumption to contact the guy about the pee problem, he said the last person to wear the thing hadn't been him, it had been a friend. I believe him, if only because few people would send something they knew reeked of pee to somebody to be worked on. (Though I suppose I wouldn't put it past some people, having read the stories here.)
But there was no WAY I was doing that part of the project! I mailed him that piece back, and I never want to see it again! (And he's not getting refunded for the work not done on that part. Sorry no. Ugh.)
The rest of it though....
It sat there. And stared at me. Sitting in my workroom, half finished, way more work than I wanted, with re-makes and disasters all over it. Nothing had gone right. Nothing had come out like it should. And I kept putting it off, working on something else for a while, putting it back a few more weeks. Next week I'll finish it. Or the week after that. No rush, the guy who commissioned it hadn't given me a deadline, after all.
But he started getting impatient. Not even a tiny bit sucky of him, it had been nearly a year since we started talking, and three or four months since I originally should have finished it. I didn't blame him a bit.
So I gave him a deadline. I told him I'd have it for certain by the end of this month.
And so over the last week or so I had to work on it. There was just no other option. So I got it out, and I got out all the pieces and materials, and I started in, and I got a little done, but I just have never wanted less to do something! I've been struggling with depression for the last few months, and every time I look at this project I get SO depressed just at the very idea! It was dragging me down, and I jumped at the chance to get away from it when my boyfriend suggested we go out for dinner last night. But it was still there when I got back! And it was still there this morning when I got out of bed. I almost didn't get up, I wanted to just stay in bed so I wouldn't have to face the accursed thing.
And then I told myself, "Self, why the flip are you self-employed if you're going to hate your work? You might as well go back to your old office job!"
And I realized that this was true. I put up with irregular income, with stupid people who IM me, with mountains of paperwork, with hideous taxes, and with all the other things that come with working for yourself so that I could have a job I actually enjoy. If I wasn't enjoying it, what's the point?
So I just now e-mailed this guy, apologized for the whole mess, said I'd give him a refund, and then went and stuffed the whole disaster in a box and taped it shut.
I feel better than I've felt in months! Hallelujah, it's gone, I don't have to do it!
*does a happy dance.*
And after this I am NEVER, ever, ever, ever in a million years taking another re-working commission. Made from scratch only, I swear. I never want to face another peed-in costume ever again!
Nearly a year ago somebody started discussing this costume re-making project with me. At the time it sounded like a bit of a pain, but not too bad, and I can always use more work. So I said yes, and I got paid, and he shipped me the stuff he wanted worked on, and I put down his name in my queue, and that was that for a few months.
Then came time to open up the boxes and start work, and things went rapidly downhill.
I found that I hated the project. I mean... I really hated it. It was somebody else's design, something I'd never have made in the first place, and nothing I could do to it would make it something I would want to show off as my best work. So my enthusiasm was a little low to start with. And every step along the way was taking more work than I'd thought, and the whole thing was just no fun, and hardly seemed worth the money I was getting.
And then there was the pee problem. Part of the project involved altering the fit of a jumpsuit. Which, as I pulled it out and got out my needle and thread, I noticed it sort of... stank. It stank a lot. And it stank like the bathrooms at the children's museum where I used to work, where the little kiddies didn't always hit the toilet. I wondered for a bit if somehow one of my cats had peed on it, but really it didn't smell like cat pee, it smelled like human pee. And there was no way on earth I was going to sew something that had been peed on! Ugh!
When I finally got up the gumption to contact the guy about the pee problem, he said the last person to wear the thing hadn't been him, it had been a friend. I believe him, if only because few people would send something they knew reeked of pee to somebody to be worked on. (Though I suppose I wouldn't put it past some people, having read the stories here.)
But there was no WAY I was doing that part of the project! I mailed him that piece back, and I never want to see it again! (And he's not getting refunded for the work not done on that part. Sorry no. Ugh.)
The rest of it though....
It sat there. And stared at me. Sitting in my workroom, half finished, way more work than I wanted, with re-makes and disasters all over it. Nothing had gone right. Nothing had come out like it should. And I kept putting it off, working on something else for a while, putting it back a few more weeks. Next week I'll finish it. Or the week after that. No rush, the guy who commissioned it hadn't given me a deadline, after all.
But he started getting impatient. Not even a tiny bit sucky of him, it had been nearly a year since we started talking, and three or four months since I originally should have finished it. I didn't blame him a bit.
So I gave him a deadline. I told him I'd have it for certain by the end of this month.
And so over the last week or so I had to work on it. There was just no other option. So I got it out, and I got out all the pieces and materials, and I started in, and I got a little done, but I just have never wanted less to do something! I've been struggling with depression for the last few months, and every time I look at this project I get SO depressed just at the very idea! It was dragging me down, and I jumped at the chance to get away from it when my boyfriend suggested we go out for dinner last night. But it was still there when I got back! And it was still there this morning when I got out of bed. I almost didn't get up, I wanted to just stay in bed so I wouldn't have to face the accursed thing.
And then I told myself, "Self, why the flip are you self-employed if you're going to hate your work? You might as well go back to your old office job!"
And I realized that this was true. I put up with irregular income, with stupid people who IM me, with mountains of paperwork, with hideous taxes, and with all the other things that come with working for yourself so that I could have a job I actually enjoy. If I wasn't enjoying it, what's the point?
So I just now e-mailed this guy, apologized for the whole mess, said I'd give him a refund, and then went and stuffed the whole disaster in a box and taped it shut.
I feel better than I've felt in months! Hallelujah, it's gone, I don't have to do it!
*does a happy dance.*
And after this I am NEVER, ever, ever, ever in a million years taking another re-working commission. Made from scratch only, I swear. I never want to face another peed-in costume ever again!