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I got lazy this weekend and decided to wait until after the holiday to post. Which worked out ok, since I was able to add a lot of stuff to my post today.
Abandoned Debt
I only heard half of this phone conversation, but the Loan Officer told me the rest after she hung up.
LO: John, I'm calling about your loan application. I'm having a real hard time getting you qualified. Your debt-to-income is too much.
C: It should be fine. I'm going to sell my old house after I buy the new one, so I won't have that loan to pay.
LO: But you haven't sold that house yet, so you still have to pay that debt until the house sells.
C: But that's secondary.
LO: No, I have to factor that all in when I'm trying to get you qualified. I think I explained that to you when you applied. But your credit's fine otherwise. If you wanted to sell your house first and then buy the new house, we would probably be able to do it then.
C: That's secondary. I won't have to pay it once I get my new house.
LO: Yes, you will. It's still your debt. You still have to pay it.
C: But I'm going to sell the house.
LO: But what if the house doesn't sell? You still have to pay that debt.
<Wash, rinse, repeat about 5 more times.>
LO: I see that you have several inquiries on your credit report. The other lenders told you the same thing, right?
C: Well, they turned me down.
LO: John, I'm going to send you an adverse action. If you decide to sell your house, we can look at this again.
Budgeting
Our budget for advertising (well, everything, but especially advertising) was cut badly this year. We've been turning down nearly every advertising opportunity that has been presented to us. There's a fishing contest that we sponsor every year that the head of our marketing committee turned down this year.
Today, the fellow who runs the fishing contest brought in the information for us for the winners. I told him that we had turned it down. Apologized for it, even. He tells me that the bank president approved it. <sigh> I tell him, "Ok, I just wish he had told me."
He was nice about it, but this keeps happening. The pres keeps promising his "buddies" that we'll do their advertisements, which takes money away from the advertisements that will actually do us some good.
Competition Bashing
We use a product for verifying information that new customers give us when opening checking or savings accounts. Company A provides this product, but Company B provides the front-end that we go through to get to the product. We received an email from Company B stating that, since Company A was discontinuing the product, they had developed a new product to replace it.
This was news to us. Company A hadn't informed us of this, so I contacted them. They said they had no plans of discontinuing the product, but that they had a product that they felt had a better return on investment (read this as "it costs more, but you get more for it"). So I asked for information on their new product.
Meanwhile, I contacted Company B and asked them about it. They said that they had heard from some of their customers that Company A was forcing them to move to a different product, so they developed their new product as an alternative.
One of them is lying, but I don't care who. We'll leave things as they are until Company A tries to force us to change products. Then we'll get pricing for both Company A's and Company B's new products and decide which one to go with.
Interesting Family
We have a family with Coverdell ESA's for the 5 children. For some reason, the Responsible Adult on one of them is the grandmother, while it's the mother on all the rest. I don't know why. But last week, the notice on the ESA that goes to the grandmother's address was returned to the bank. It had the sticker on it from the post office saying what the new address was. I don't know why the post office doesn't forward pieces of mail when they know the address. So I sent it to the address on the sticker. It was sent back this week with a sticker saying forwarding address unknown.
I tried calling the last known phone number for the grandmother. The fellow who answered said I had the wrong number. I tried looking her up on the internet. No one by that name in the state.
I tried calling the great grandmother (who provided the funds for these accounts). I got the high-pitched tones in my ear and a recording telling me that the number was disconnected. I looked her up on the internet. I found an address and phone number. I tried calling that one. I got an answering machine with a generic message. So I left a message saying, "if this is L____, please call me."
But since I wasn't sure I had gotten the right person, I didn't stop there. I looked for the mother's phone number. It's unlisted. <sigh> So I sent a letter to the mother (the only one whose address I'm relatively sure of) asking her to have the grandmother (her mother) contact us. All I can do now is hope that either the great grandmother or the mother responds to my messages. Meanwhile, I'll keep the notice in the child's file.
BTW, the 5 children have 4 different last names (one is the mother's maiden name). Family reunions must be fun.
Update: The great grandmother called me back and told me that the grandmother doesn't have a mailing address right now - she's living with a friend. Oh, and the mother is now married to a guy with a 6th last name. Wow.
Much Good It Did You
The customer came in to talk to the bossman. He said that somebody had told him they came in to "bitch" about their 1.85% CD rate, and we gave them 2.60%. I said, no, that we're matching the other bank's rate of 2.52% at a longer term, but we're not going as high as 2.60%. So the bossman offered him 2.00%. He was happy. I don't get it. Granted, he will be earning about $200 more over the next 6 months, but if he had held out for 2.50%, he would have earned about $900 more. Anybody can tell that bossman has no spine. If you suggest that you might take out your money, he'll bend as far as you want.
Augh! My Eyes!
You are not a cute teenager. You are a pudgy 40-year-old woman with all the brains and beauty of a mole rat. Your laughter is reminiscent of the braying of a congested camel. The tank tops and low-rise jeans are not flattering. I don't need to see your bra straps. Or the side-boob.
That sheer lace top you're wearing today makes my eyes burn. I can see the rolls of your pasty white skin through the lace. And your bra is - ugh, I did not just look at that. I don't need to see your bare elephant-like ankles below that flimsy skirt, either. Shaving your legs doesn't help if you're retaining enough water to hydrate yourself for a year and, somehow, your skin is still dry and flaky as lizard hide.
Combover
Logically, I know that the folks who have money are those who don't spend it. So it shouldn't surprise me that the old fart who comes in with the terrible combover, the twenty-year-old jacket and the cheap hearing aid that looks like a bluetooth cellphone headset has the high-dollar CD. I bet he relies on the VA for his medical insurance.
On the other hand, it doesn't surprise me that the dumpy middle-aged woman with the over-dyed frizzy hair and tight jeans over her squishy butt is overdrawn again.
Overheard
Coworker explaining to customer the relationship between a business associate and her gay son: "He rented a room from my son, and they got to be very good friends." If you don't want to say that they were lovers, then don't mention that your son knew this fellow at all! It doesn't have any effect on the guy's business practices!
Internet FTW!
We got a fax from the salesman at the local radio station wanting us to do a Memorial Day ad. The ad copy starts "Soldier, Rest, thy warfare over, dream of fighting fields no more. Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking, morn of toil, nor night of waking. Sir Walter Scott wrote these words to honor the fallen heroes of the Civil War."
We declined to do the ad (because of price, not content), but I wanted to know what poem the lines were from. So I did a Google search for the second line. It's from a poem called "The Lady of the Lake," written in 1810, a full 50 years before the start of the civil war. Further research with Wikipedia shows that Sir Walter Scott lived from 1771-1832, which means that he died almost 30 years before the Civil War began. The radio station needs to check their references before sending out ad copy.
Overheard Part 2
Let me preface this by saying that this coworker is, overall, a nice person. She means well. She has good intentions. But you know what they say about good intentions.
I frequently have to listen to her air her issues to customers or other people over the phone. Today, she was talking to someone on the phone for over half an hour about how her granddaughter, who had just gotten out of jail two weeks ago, tried to kill herself by overdose this weekend. After a night in the hospital, she checked herself into rehab on Memorial Day. This coworker was also complaining that her granddaughter was trying to get back custody of her son despite her continued drug abuse. The boy is in his great-grandmother's (my coworker's) custody.
I used to wonder why she doesn't retire. Now I know. It's not because she has to raise her great-grandson. It's because she has to pay for her granddaughter's drug habit and rehab stays.
Overheard Part 3
Now the granddaughter calls (apparently from the rehab facility) to ask her grandmother to bring her something. I don't know what it is, but from the half of the conversation I heard, she thought it was extremely urgent that she get it right now. Grandmother would have none of it, but she still spoke to the girl in this pleading, condescending tone that could drive anyone to abuse drugs rather than have to listen to it.
I get more cynical every day.
Abandoned Debt
I only heard half of this phone conversation, but the Loan Officer told me the rest after she hung up.
LO: John, I'm calling about your loan application. I'm having a real hard time getting you qualified. Your debt-to-income is too much.
C: It should be fine. I'm going to sell my old house after I buy the new one, so I won't have that loan to pay.
LO: But you haven't sold that house yet, so you still have to pay that debt until the house sells.
C: But that's secondary.
LO: No, I have to factor that all in when I'm trying to get you qualified. I think I explained that to you when you applied. But your credit's fine otherwise. If you wanted to sell your house first and then buy the new house, we would probably be able to do it then.
C: That's secondary. I won't have to pay it once I get my new house.
LO: Yes, you will. It's still your debt. You still have to pay it.
C: But I'm going to sell the house.
LO: But what if the house doesn't sell? You still have to pay that debt.
<Wash, rinse, repeat about 5 more times.>
LO: I see that you have several inquiries on your credit report. The other lenders told you the same thing, right?
C: Well, they turned me down.
LO: John, I'm going to send you an adverse action. If you decide to sell your house, we can look at this again.
Budgeting
Our budget for advertising (well, everything, but especially advertising) was cut badly this year. We've been turning down nearly every advertising opportunity that has been presented to us. There's a fishing contest that we sponsor every year that the head of our marketing committee turned down this year.
Today, the fellow who runs the fishing contest brought in the information for us for the winners. I told him that we had turned it down. Apologized for it, even. He tells me that the bank president approved it. <sigh> I tell him, "Ok, I just wish he had told me."
He was nice about it, but this keeps happening. The pres keeps promising his "buddies" that we'll do their advertisements, which takes money away from the advertisements that will actually do us some good.
Competition Bashing
We use a product for verifying information that new customers give us when opening checking or savings accounts. Company A provides this product, but Company B provides the front-end that we go through to get to the product. We received an email from Company B stating that, since Company A was discontinuing the product, they had developed a new product to replace it.
This was news to us. Company A hadn't informed us of this, so I contacted them. They said they had no plans of discontinuing the product, but that they had a product that they felt had a better return on investment (read this as "it costs more, but you get more for it"). So I asked for information on their new product.
Meanwhile, I contacted Company B and asked them about it. They said that they had heard from some of their customers that Company A was forcing them to move to a different product, so they developed their new product as an alternative.
One of them is lying, but I don't care who. We'll leave things as they are until Company A tries to force us to change products. Then we'll get pricing for both Company A's and Company B's new products and decide which one to go with.
Interesting Family
We have a family with Coverdell ESA's for the 5 children. For some reason, the Responsible Adult on one of them is the grandmother, while it's the mother on all the rest. I don't know why. But last week, the notice on the ESA that goes to the grandmother's address was returned to the bank. It had the sticker on it from the post office saying what the new address was. I don't know why the post office doesn't forward pieces of mail when they know the address. So I sent it to the address on the sticker. It was sent back this week with a sticker saying forwarding address unknown.
I tried calling the last known phone number for the grandmother. The fellow who answered said I had the wrong number. I tried looking her up on the internet. No one by that name in the state.
I tried calling the great grandmother (who provided the funds for these accounts). I got the high-pitched tones in my ear and a recording telling me that the number was disconnected. I looked her up on the internet. I found an address and phone number. I tried calling that one. I got an answering machine with a generic message. So I left a message saying, "if this is L____, please call me."
But since I wasn't sure I had gotten the right person, I didn't stop there. I looked for the mother's phone number. It's unlisted. <sigh> So I sent a letter to the mother (the only one whose address I'm relatively sure of) asking her to have the grandmother (her mother) contact us. All I can do now is hope that either the great grandmother or the mother responds to my messages. Meanwhile, I'll keep the notice in the child's file.
BTW, the 5 children have 4 different last names (one is the mother's maiden name). Family reunions must be fun.
Update: The great grandmother called me back and told me that the grandmother doesn't have a mailing address right now - she's living with a friend. Oh, and the mother is now married to a guy with a 6th last name. Wow.
Much Good It Did You
The customer came in to talk to the bossman. He said that somebody had told him they came in to "bitch" about their 1.85% CD rate, and we gave them 2.60%. I said, no, that we're matching the other bank's rate of 2.52% at a longer term, but we're not going as high as 2.60%. So the bossman offered him 2.00%. He was happy. I don't get it. Granted, he will be earning about $200 more over the next 6 months, but if he had held out for 2.50%, he would have earned about $900 more. Anybody can tell that bossman has no spine. If you suggest that you might take out your money, he'll bend as far as you want.
Augh! My Eyes!
You are not a cute teenager. You are a pudgy 40-year-old woman with all the brains and beauty of a mole rat. Your laughter is reminiscent of the braying of a congested camel. The tank tops and low-rise jeans are not flattering. I don't need to see your bra straps. Or the side-boob.
That sheer lace top you're wearing today makes my eyes burn. I can see the rolls of your pasty white skin through the lace. And your bra is - ugh, I did not just look at that. I don't need to see your bare elephant-like ankles below that flimsy skirt, either. Shaving your legs doesn't help if you're retaining enough water to hydrate yourself for a year and, somehow, your skin is still dry and flaky as lizard hide.
Combover
Logically, I know that the folks who have money are those who don't spend it. So it shouldn't surprise me that the old fart who comes in with the terrible combover, the twenty-year-old jacket and the cheap hearing aid that looks like a bluetooth cellphone headset has the high-dollar CD. I bet he relies on the VA for his medical insurance.
On the other hand, it doesn't surprise me that the dumpy middle-aged woman with the over-dyed frizzy hair and tight jeans over her squishy butt is overdrawn again.
Overheard
Coworker explaining to customer the relationship between a business associate and her gay son: "He rented a room from my son, and they got to be very good friends." If you don't want to say that they were lovers, then don't mention that your son knew this fellow at all! It doesn't have any effect on the guy's business practices!
Internet FTW!
We got a fax from the salesman at the local radio station wanting us to do a Memorial Day ad. The ad copy starts "Soldier, Rest, thy warfare over, dream of fighting fields no more. Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking, morn of toil, nor night of waking. Sir Walter Scott wrote these words to honor the fallen heroes of the Civil War."
We declined to do the ad (because of price, not content), but I wanted to know what poem the lines were from. So I did a Google search for the second line. It's from a poem called "The Lady of the Lake," written in 1810, a full 50 years before the start of the civil war. Further research with Wikipedia shows that Sir Walter Scott lived from 1771-1832, which means that he died almost 30 years before the Civil War began. The radio station needs to check their references before sending out ad copy.
Overheard Part 2
Let me preface this by saying that this coworker is, overall, a nice person. She means well. She has good intentions. But you know what they say about good intentions.
I frequently have to listen to her air her issues to customers or other people over the phone. Today, she was talking to someone on the phone for over half an hour about how her granddaughter, who had just gotten out of jail two weeks ago, tried to kill herself by overdose this weekend. After a night in the hospital, she checked herself into rehab on Memorial Day. This coworker was also complaining that her granddaughter was trying to get back custody of her son despite her continued drug abuse. The boy is in his great-grandmother's (my coworker's) custody.
I used to wonder why she doesn't retire. Now I know. It's not because she has to raise her great-grandson. It's because she has to pay for her granddaughter's drug habit and rehab stays.
Overheard Part 3
Now the granddaughter calls (apparently from the rehab facility) to ask her grandmother to bring her something. I don't know what it is, but from the half of the conversation I heard, she thought it was extremely urgent that she get it right now. Grandmother would have none of it, but she still spoke to the girl in this pleading, condescending tone that could drive anyone to abuse drugs rather than have to listen to it.
I get more cynical every day.
There is a possibility that he was writing to honor heroes of the English Civil War, which would have predated him by a couple hundred years. That's the only thing I can think of to explain that kind of historical and geographical nonsense! 
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