Tweet
My boss is a brown-nose who would bend over and take it from any customer for any reason so long as he thought it would induce them to come back soon and spend another fifty cents.
That said, our “best” customer is a regular who spends on average over $800 a month in our store. So we have to tolerate him.
He is a racist. He is a sexist. And every other –ist you could think of. He prattles constantly on and on about mundane crap we DON’T CARE about for 30 mins after his transaction is finished and he comes in EVERY SINGLE DAY. He also complains about our prices. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
He is the epitome, the embodiment, the quintessence, the crowning golden craptastic achievement of what it means to be a Sucky Customer. He is every archetype of SC-ness somehow rolled into ONE person. He is the reason I Googled “customers suck” and discovered this most kick-ass website. And a prime example of the reason I’m jaded and have generally come to hate people from too many years of customer service.
Thank you, O High King of Suck.
Thank you for embarrassing me in front of the copy machine repair guy, who happens to be Afghan, with your drivel about oil prices and terrorism and blah blah blah and how you don’t trust anyone who looks Middle Eastern.
(Are you “enlightening” me for his benefit? Yes, don’t worry I’m sure he can hear you.)
Thank you for your fifteen minute one-way conversation with me about how you don’t like going to the DMV in Vallejo because you’re the only white guy in line and it makes you wonder what country you’re in.
(Uh…. America, dumbass? You mean like opposed to what? Mexico? Africa? It evidently didn’t occur to you that just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean I’m an OHolyAryanPureblood like you. No. I’m a quarter Puerto Rican and my fiancé is black so I’m not really inclined to be enthusiastic about your ignorant and bigoted views on people who aren’t white. SO STFU. Nazi piece of shit.)
Thank you, jackass, for your lengthy lectures on the evils of Roe v. Wade.
(Your political and moral opinions are your own and you’re entitled to them. But don’t shove them down my throat. Especially when I’m at work. Especially when I’ve been enduring your little speech with by-the-minute glances at the clock and an “I-don’t-give-a-fuck-what-you-think” look on my face. A look I apparently need to work on in front of the mirror because thus far it’s been ineffective.)
Thank you, O Most Puckered and Stinking of Assholes, for your daily grievances on our prices and full reports on the cheaper shipping rates at the post office.
(So why don’t you give us a break and go torture them, then? I’ll be sure to call and let them know you’re coming so they can have the AK47s ready. I was sure there was no possible way in hell or earth the pain of working retail could rival the pain of being a waitress. You sir have proven me wrong. Congratufuckin’lations.)
Beware, O Wretched Sovereign of Suck, beware my Last Day of Work. For no longer will I be held hostage to your bullshit as you blather your idiocy at me through the bars of my minimum wage prison. The lion shall be loosed! RAWR!!!! Beware!
That said, our “best” customer is a regular who spends on average over $800 a month in our store. So we have to tolerate him.
He is a racist. He is a sexist. And every other –ist you could think of. He prattles constantly on and on about mundane crap we DON’T CARE about for 30 mins after his transaction is finished and he comes in EVERY SINGLE DAY. He also complains about our prices. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
He is the epitome, the embodiment, the quintessence, the crowning golden craptastic achievement of what it means to be a Sucky Customer. He is every archetype of SC-ness somehow rolled into ONE person. He is the reason I Googled “customers suck” and discovered this most kick-ass website. And a prime example of the reason I’m jaded and have generally come to hate people from too many years of customer service.
Thank you, O High King of Suck.
Thank you for embarrassing me in front of the copy machine repair guy, who happens to be Afghan, with your drivel about oil prices and terrorism and blah blah blah and how you don’t trust anyone who looks Middle Eastern.
(Are you “enlightening” me for his benefit? Yes, don’t worry I’m sure he can hear you.)
Thank you for your fifteen minute one-way conversation with me about how you don’t like going to the DMV in Vallejo because you’re the only white guy in line and it makes you wonder what country you’re in.
(Uh…. America, dumbass? You mean like opposed to what? Mexico? Africa? It evidently didn’t occur to you that just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean I’m an OHolyAryanPureblood like you. No. I’m a quarter Puerto Rican and my fiancé is black so I’m not really inclined to be enthusiastic about your ignorant and bigoted views on people who aren’t white. SO STFU. Nazi piece of shit.)
Thank you, jackass, for your lengthy lectures on the evils of Roe v. Wade.
(Your political and moral opinions are your own and you’re entitled to them. But don’t shove them down my throat. Especially when I’m at work. Especially when I’ve been enduring your little speech with by-the-minute glances at the clock and an “I-don’t-give-a-fuck-what-you-think” look on my face. A look I apparently need to work on in front of the mirror because thus far it’s been ineffective.)
Thank you, O Most Puckered and Stinking of Assholes, for your daily grievances on our prices and full reports on the cheaper shipping rates at the post office.
(So why don’t you give us a break and go torture them, then? I’ll be sure to call and let them know you’re coming so they can have the AK47s ready. I was sure there was no possible way in hell or earth the pain of working retail could rival the pain of being a waitress. You sir have proven me wrong. Congratufuckin’lations.)
Beware, O Wretched Sovereign of Suck, beware my Last Day of Work. For no longer will I be held hostage to your bullshit as you blather your idiocy at me through the bars of my minimum wage prison. The lion shall be loosed! RAWR!!!! Beware!
I used to live in Fairfield long, long ago. Still live in the Bay Area. So big HI! and welcome aboard!
Comment