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It's the small stupidities that make my day.

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  • It's the small stupidities that make my day.

    So today was my last day before going on a week long vacation. I was expecting a typically busy-as-hell Friday, but it was actually pretty calm. It helped that both me and the other guy on pizza's are pretty good at what we do (ego boost ftw!). I didn't have to answer the phone much, either. However, the other guy (let's call him CW) on pizzas got a few... special customers.

    SC#1 wanted a 14" pineapple and ham and some other pizza. When CW repeated her order back to her, he said 14" haiiwian. But no, she didn't want a haiiwian, she wanted ham and pineapple. CW gave her a haiiwian anyway. Somewhat suprisingly, she didn't complain.

    SC#2 wanted a regular sized greek olive and something else pizza. CW asked her if she meant a 10" or a 14". SC wanted the regular one. After going around a few times, she guessed that she wanted a 10". She also specified that she wanted CALAMATA olives, a.k.a greek, and not those nasty canned ones. She clarified that a few more times. CW to me- "I've been working here for 6 years, I think I know the difference by now." We debated putting 1(one) black olive in the middle just to miff her.

    SC#3 wasn't from today, but was CW was telling me the story. SW called, wanted a hamburger or somesuch, done rare. CW told him that we don't cook them to order, they have to be done well. SW reiterated that he wanted it rare. About 5 times. Finally he got the idea. SW- "FINE! I guess I'll have to get it WELL, then!" CW to the grill guy- "That hamburger there? Burn it."

    We also had a customer place an online order for a Pizza Bianco (which is made with either garlic or ricotta in place of sauce), ham on half, made into calzone. Issue #1, they didn't tell us if they wanted garlic or ricotta. Issue #2, anyone who has made or eaten a calzone before should know that it's really hard (as in not possible) to keep the filling on just one half. We ended up putting on both garlic and ricotta, and tried to keep the ham towards one side (not very hard, though). Stupid people are the reason I hate online orders. The other reason are the people who write comments like "Can you give me xtr chz plz???", appearently not seeing the extra cheeze button that also adds the extra charge. I put light cheeze on those ones.

  • #2
    In defense of the Hawaiian Pizza person, places around here include crispy bacon in addition to the ham and pineapple. I find that yucky and usually request a pineapple and ham pizza. Though I'm used to calling it canadian bacon. Since I'm not from this area originally, I'm finding out the hard way that no one here knows canadian bacon IS ham. So what do they give me? Crispy bacon. Blech.

    I used to work for a place that had a Hawaiian pizza with pineapple, ham and cream cheese. If you haven't tried it, don't knock it. It's heaven itself.
    A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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    • #3
      at my stare the difference between a hawaiian and a ham and pineapple is extra chess
      and i can knoch you pizza all i wan bain cause im allergic to pinapple so i cant try it,
      also bacon pizza? is good
      oh and my pet peeze
      cheeseless pizza.
      We offer a hard cheese (provolone) for the lactose intolerant and wthout chese the pizza cooks to fast and comes out dry and hard and brittle not fun

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      • #4
        Yeah, I probably should have stated that our Haiiwian is just ham and pineapple. However, our menu pretty clearly states what comes on all of our pizzas, including the Haiiwian.

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        • #5
          Quoth Meganjo23 View Post
          SW- "FINE! I guess I'll have to get it WELL, then!" CW to the grill guy- "That hamburger there? Burn it."
          CLASSIC! I love it!


          At The Bar we have had our share of small stupidity ourselves lately.

          1. The other night, one that I missed: a dude orders a dish with spicy szechuwan sauce, and the menu clearly states that it is a spicy dish. The word "Spicy" is right in the name of the dish! He also orders buffalo shrimp. I think most people, and definitely most Americans, know that buffalo sauce = spicy.

          So, after getting what he ordered, said genius calls my manager over to complain to her. Why? Why else? His food was too spicy! :handpalm:

          2. Just yesterday I had a table who had wings, and they actually asked my coworker to ask me to bring them.....

          GLOVES!

          Yes, they actually asked for gloves for their chicken wings. Yes, they are messy, but gloves? Seriously? As in, no. So I brought them some extra napkins.

          Gloves indeed.

          3. Five skater-types (male and female) wander in tonight and ask for a table. I notice one of the dudes has no shoes on, and I politely tell him that he can't dine in our establishment without shoes. His response? "Not even upstairs?"

          No, not upstairs either, Dr. Hawking. See, while it is open air upstairs, you are STILL going to have to be in our establishment, we STILL have rules to follow, you STILL will have to walk through the downstairs area barefoot, and you STILL would have to use the bathroom barefoot......and the bathroom is downstairs.

          Dude gets a job on a boat and decides he no longer needs shoes. Well, Gilligan, that may work just fine on the boat and the docks, but almost every restaurant is going to dock you for that one, and frankly, why would you want to walk the streets with nothing on your feet? Especially the streets of a drinking town where people will throw all kinds of crap everywhere, including broken glass!

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
          Still A Customer."

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Jester View Post
            3. Five skater-types (male and female) wander in tonight and ask for a table. I notice one of the dudes has no shoes on, and I politely tell him that he can't dine in our establishment without shoes. His response? "Not even upstairs?"

            No, not upstairs either, Dr. Hawking. See, while it is open air upstairs, you are STILL going to have to be in our establishment, we STILL have rules to follow, you STILL will have to walk through the downstairs area barefoot, and you STILL would have to use the bathroom barefoot......and the bathroom is downstairs.
            is this the same upstairs that a long time ago you commented occasionally had a nudist night... or am I confusing you with another poster on this board (or maybe another board altogether)
            If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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            • #7
              Quoth Meganjo23 View Post
              Yeah, I probably should have stated that our Haiiwian is just ham and pineapple.
              That is what I though Hawaiian pizza usually is.
              "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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              • #8
                I really hate a lot of pizza places. I like pizzas with Italian sausage and Canadian bacon. Not so hard, is it?

                A lot of these dipsticks seem to think that because I'm not ordering Monster Meat Masterpiece ... that I'd like fucking pineapple with my Canadian bacon. NO, I DO NOT.

                "Just pick it off, dude."

                Fuck, if I hear that from one more pizza twirp, I'm going to get a real pineapple and force it into his bladder the hard way.
                "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

                Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

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                • #9
                  Quoth marasbaras View Post
                  if I hear that from one more pizza twirp, I'm going to get a real pineapple and force it into his bladder the hard way.
                  ~wince~ That's prickley.
                  A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
                    is this the same upstairs that a long time ago you commented occasionally had a nudist night... or am I confusing you with another poster on this board (or maybe another board altogether)
                    Um, not sure. We did host a swinger's convention party there once, where many people were less than fully clothed. We also had some interesting minimalist costumes during Fantasy Fest, of course. But these were special events, not normal everyday operations.

                    Then again, you may be thinking of the clothing optional roof deck bar I used to work at as a DJ that we have in this town.

                    Key Weird indeed!

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth marasbaras View Post
                      A lot of these dipsticks seem to think that because I'm not ordering Monster Meat Masterpiece ... that I'd like fucking pineapple with my Canadian bacon. NO, I DO NOT.

                      "Just pick it off, dude."
                      Um... Okay, pineapple is very juicy and it leaks all over the pizza. There is no way that simply "picking it off, dude" is going to prevent pizza from tasting like pineapple! I know, since that's all the pizza my mom would eat for ages when I was little. *throws chunks of pineapple at the pizza dudes that say that*
                      Last edited by ShadedWings; 06-14-2008, 11:10 PM. Reason: typo!
                      Confirmed altoholic.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth marasbaras View Post
                        A lot of these dipsticks seem to think that because I'm not ordering Monster Meat Masterpiece ... that I'd like fucking pineapple with my Canadian bacon. NO, I DO NOT.

                        "Just pick it off, dude."*
                        Quoth ShadedWings View Post
                        Um... Okay, pineapple is very juicy and it leaks all over the pizza. There is no way that simply "picking it off, dude" is going to prevent pizza from tasting like pineapple! I know, since that's all the pizza my mom would eat for ages when I was little. *throws chunks of pineapple at the pizza dudes that say that*
                        That's why picking off the pineapple doesn't work for people with pineapple allegies. The juice that leaks all over can give them a very nasty allergic reaction, maybe even death. Food allegeries should be respected.
                        "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                          Food allegeries should be respected.
                          I'm sorry, but I absolutely do NOT respect my food allergy. See, it seems I am allergic to bananas. Of course I didn't realize that that was what that scratchy feeling in the back of my throat was until I was well into my twenties. Be that as it may, I happen to like bananas, and will mock, taunt, and make fun of my banana allergy whenever I can by chomping into a big ole nana and laughing at that silly little allergy.

                          Respect? Fuck you allergy. I look down my nose at you and LAUGH!

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                          Still A Customer."

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