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(Note: This thread in no way is meant to influence anyones personal choices or even start a debate. It's just a part of my story).
I waitress in a crappy breakfast restaurant. Most of the time, it's not a horrible place. But every once in a while you get a doozy who makes you want to rip out your kidneys and make them eat it.
Me: Friendly neighborhood waitress
SC #1: Satans girlfriend
SC #2: Clueless man
SC #3: Just a regular old idiot
(internal dialogue)
Me: Good morning, how's everyone doing today?
SC #1: I need you to write this down. I want an omelet, you got that? I want turkey, broccoli, onions, peppers, american- you writing this down? a-m-e-r-i-c-a-n cheese, mushrooms, and tomatoes. It better not have any sausage, bacon, ham, or steak in it. Did you get that? Now tell me back what I said.
(Said? I distinctly heard a mooing, bizitch, and you can put your finger away and stop rolling your head, you're going to smother your friend in the waves of fat from that double chin).
Me: -repeats order exactly-
SC #1: I didn't hear no salsa.
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't hear salsa.
SC #1: That's why I told you to write it down.
Me: (I can't even look at her right now, somehow I have a feeling that they are wanting a free breakfast) And for you sir?
SC #2: I don't know, is your t-bone good?
Me: (It's cooked on a flat grill next to bacon, I'd never order it here unless I was drunk, but to each his own) People seem to like it.
SC #2: I'll have the tbone, but make sure it's medium rare.
Me: Okay, and how would you like your eggs (comes with the order)?
SC #2: Medium rare.
Me:
You want your eggs over medium?
SC #2: Me-di-um ra-re.
Me: We don't cook eggs me-di-um ra-re. (I know I won't get a tip, why bother)
SC #2: Like that. *points to picture*
Me: Okay, sunny side up.
SC #2: Yeah, but flip them once.
Me: So over easy then.
SC #2: No, like that but flipped. (only if you promise to stab yourself with the sharp knife I bring).
SC #1: Do you have mushrooms in my omelet, I want mushrooms.
me: Yes, you told me that already.
SC #1: Just making sure, I didn't see you writing it down (no, I'm drawing pictures of fluffy kittens with my pen and paper)
SC #3: I want this, but can you give me a waffle instead of the pancakes?
Me: Yes, but it's 1.30 extra.
SC #3: I'm not paying that.
Me: So you don't want the waffle?
SC #3: I want the waffle, but I'm not paying for that.
Me: That's the only way it comes. If you want the waffle, you have to pay extra.
SC #3: Fine. (and giving me that look of we'll see what your manager says)
Me: Coffee for everyone?
SC #1: Yes.
SC #2: I don't want no coffee.
SC #3: I want juice.
SC #1: I want juice too.
Me: So one coffee, two juices? And for you (asshat #2)?
SC #2: I'll have juice.
Me: I'll be right back. (I need to go decide what foreign object placed in your food will provide the longest amount of horrifying pain).
I go in the back and get their drinks and yell for the cooks to put on a tbone. When I go to drop off their drinks, SC #2 has decided he does want coffee and SC #1 gets mad that we don't have flavored creamer.
I return again to the back, this time complaining up a storm. I'm telling my coworkers how much I *hate* this table and say out loud, 'God, I don't want to wait on this table!'
20 seconds later (cue ominious music)- we lose power. The whole shopping center has no electricity. Our grills are powered by electric, and there are no lights. It's the most beautiful moment. My coworkers are looking at me like I'm a saint (soooo far from the truth, but funny). No power means I don't have to wait on them anymore!!!
Of course, they couldn't understand why they wouldn't be getting their breakfast. They yell at the manager on the way out that they'll be calling corporate (and of course corporate will be giving them gift cards, but that's why I kiss up to the hostessess). It was one of the happiest moments I've ever had as a lowly server.
I waitress in a crappy breakfast restaurant. Most of the time, it's not a horrible place. But every once in a while you get a doozy who makes you want to rip out your kidneys and make them eat it.
Me: Friendly neighborhood waitress
SC #1: Satans girlfriend
SC #2: Clueless man
SC #3: Just a regular old idiot
(internal dialogue)
Me: Good morning, how's everyone doing today?
SC #1: I need you to write this down. I want an omelet, you got that? I want turkey, broccoli, onions, peppers, american- you writing this down? a-m-e-r-i-c-a-n cheese, mushrooms, and tomatoes. It better not have any sausage, bacon, ham, or steak in it. Did you get that? Now tell me back what I said.
(Said? I distinctly heard a mooing, bizitch, and you can put your finger away and stop rolling your head, you're going to smother your friend in the waves of fat from that double chin).
Me: -repeats order exactly-
SC #1: I didn't hear no salsa.
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't hear salsa.
SC #1: That's why I told you to write it down.
Me: (I can't even look at her right now, somehow I have a feeling that they are wanting a free breakfast) And for you sir?
SC #2: I don't know, is your t-bone good?
Me: (It's cooked on a flat grill next to bacon, I'd never order it here unless I was drunk, but to each his own) People seem to like it.
SC #2: I'll have the tbone, but make sure it's medium rare.
Me: Okay, and how would you like your eggs (comes with the order)?
SC #2: Medium rare.
Me:
You want your eggs over medium?SC #2: Me-di-um ra-re.
Me: We don't cook eggs me-di-um ra-re. (I know I won't get a tip, why bother)
SC #2: Like that. *points to picture*
Me: Okay, sunny side up.
SC #2: Yeah, but flip them once.
Me: So over easy then.
SC #2: No, like that but flipped. (only if you promise to stab yourself with the sharp knife I bring).
SC #1: Do you have mushrooms in my omelet, I want mushrooms.
me: Yes, you told me that already.
SC #1: Just making sure, I didn't see you writing it down (no, I'm drawing pictures of fluffy kittens with my pen and paper)
SC #3: I want this, but can you give me a waffle instead of the pancakes?
Me: Yes, but it's 1.30 extra.
SC #3: I'm not paying that.
Me: So you don't want the waffle?
SC #3: I want the waffle, but I'm not paying for that.
Me: That's the only way it comes. If you want the waffle, you have to pay extra.
SC #3: Fine. (and giving me that look of we'll see what your manager says)
Me: Coffee for everyone?
SC #1: Yes.
SC #2: I don't want no coffee.
SC #3: I want juice.
SC #1: I want juice too.
Me: So one coffee, two juices? And for you (asshat #2)?
SC #2: I'll have juice.
Me: I'll be right back. (I need to go decide what foreign object placed in your food will provide the longest amount of horrifying pain).
I go in the back and get their drinks and yell for the cooks to put on a tbone. When I go to drop off their drinks, SC #2 has decided he does want coffee and SC #1 gets mad that we don't have flavored creamer.
I return again to the back, this time complaining up a storm. I'm telling my coworkers how much I *hate* this table and say out loud, 'God, I don't want to wait on this table!'
20 seconds later (cue ominious music)- we lose power. The whole shopping center has no electricity. Our grills are powered by electric, and there are no lights. It's the most beautiful moment. My coworkers are looking at me like I'm a saint (soooo far from the truth, but funny). No power means I don't have to wait on them anymore!!!
Of course, they couldn't understand why they wouldn't be getting their breakfast. They yell at the manager on the way out that they'll be calling corporate (and of course corporate will be giving them gift cards, but that's why I kiss up to the hostessess). It was one of the happiest moments I've ever had as a lowly server.
Indeed a fine piece of timing. Someone's watching out for you. 
Eric the Grey
. The backup batteries for the registers only last so long, so theoretically if power is not restored within 30 minutes we'd have to close the store and hope the meat doesn't go bad. We probably spend out time cleaning, and cleaning...
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