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My Epiphany

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  • #16
    If you can taste it your delivery method may require some work.
    "You mean you don’t have the one piece of information you actually need? Well, stick your grubby paws in the crayon box, yank one out and colour me Fucking Shocked Fuchsia." - Gravekeeper

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    • #17
      Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
      Call me old fashioned but I prefer getting it from the source.
      Buying milk at a store might be easier but it's more satisfying when you milk the cow yourself.
      sheldonrs, i dont think you count

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      • #18
        "101 frozen pops. A Nobel Prize Winner! An NBA All-Star! Ooh, one of the sweathogs!"

        "I checked. It's not Horshack."

        Quoth cinema guy View Post
        Wait! There's different types? I thought it was all off-white and gooey. I want pink sperm that tastes of strawberrys.
        No comment.
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #19
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
          one of the sweathogs!

          "I checked. It's not Horshack."
          from the TV show or the upcoming movie-dear God they made a movie.........<looks around for the four horsemen>
          Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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          • #20
            Unfortunately, you would be surprised, horrified and morbidly curious as to the wide range and breadth of things my gender will stick their happy sausage in. Its not all of us granted, but it only takes one of us and one awkward 20 second gas station restroom buffalo rut to not only create life but ensure that that life will be forever ruined by the very gateway its taking into this world.

            Though for the record I have never stuck mine in liver. Or a sheep. Or anything made of vinyl. Or apple pie. Or whatever else the ingenious male mind has devised to create a warm, damp hole. -.-

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            • #21
              Quoth Sliceanddice View Post
              sheldonrs, i dont think you count
              I do to!!! I'm up to 3,457 so far! :-)
              "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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              • #22
                Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                Buying milk at a store might be easier but it's more satisfying when you milk the cow yourself.
                *hurk* Wow... mind fell straight to the gutter... but, eh... I guess that might be what the sperm donor is forced to do, it just gets frozen afterward...
                "I call murder on that!"

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                • #23
                  Quoth Juwl View Post
                  *hurk* Wow... mind fell straight to the gutter... but, eh... I guess that might be what the sperm donor is forced to do, it just gets frozen afterward...
                  Does that make him an Ice Pop?
                  "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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                  • #24
                    Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                    "101 frozen pops. A Nobel Prize Winner! An NBA All-Star! Ooh, one of the sweathogs!"

                    "I checked. It's not Horshack."
                    How dare you beat me to a classic Simpsons quote?
                    Unseen but seeing
                    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                    3rd shift needs love, too
                    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                    • #25
                      such interesting discussions we have on here...

                      My friends and I have a saying in reguards to the gutter....

                      "get your mind out of the sewer and back into the gutter where it belongs!"

                      course we live in guttersville...and and its just a side trip into the sewer where the dirtier thoughts tend to lead us....
                      It is by snark alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire 'tude, the lips acquire mouthiness, the glares become a warning.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                        I do to!!! I'm up to 3,457 so far! :-)
                        And on that note, I think I will go out and buy shares in Trojan...or do you prefer a different brand?
                        Last edited by Primer; 07-17-2008, 08:28 PM.
                        Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth Primer View Post
                          And on that note, I think I will go out and buy share in Trojan...or do you prefer a different brand?
                          "Trojan"? "Brand"? What's that?
                          "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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                          • #28
                            Quoth Mongo Skruddgemire View Post
                            No No No! IF you want this to sell you have to put in.

                            "Order within the next 30 minutes and we'll throw in this handy dandy patented sperm delivery system for free. Not only will this deliver the sperm to where it's needed, but you can baste a ham, keep that turkey juicy, skim the fat off of homemade gravy...any number of handy uses.

                            So you get the Sperm Delivery tool, One vial of sperm from a Master Degree College graduate, an Olympic class athlete, and the vial of mystery spooge for five easy payments of $39.99. Call within the next five minutes and we'll take off one of the payments leaving you this wonderful offer for only four payments of $39.99."
                            And it HAS to be Billy Mays on the commercial. Has to. That guy can sell anything.
                            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                            • #29
                              Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                              That guy can sell anything.
                              ...or cause thousands of televisions across the country to simultaneously switch channels.
                              "I'm not a crazed gunman, dad, I'm an assassin... Well, the difference being one is a job and the other's mental sickness!" -The Sniper

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                              • #30
                                OW! My mind hurts!

                                Hey it's not just guys that will stick their happy little man into something. There are girls that will stick anything into their hidy hole.

                                Friend of mine works as a Nurse. A girl came in one night with a (now dead) buggery gar stuck up her ****. What possessed her to try this I don't know. But I'm sure there are many MANY stories about these sort of things.

                                There is also a girl I know (and lived with) who was like all those girls discussed. She stank, and I mean REAKED! Was obese, and had foul FOUL hygiene. Yet managed to alway get a boyfriend.
                                I am evil, I should change my middle name legally TO evil, I'm proud of my evilness! Makes life fun! bwhaha

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