Go Back   Customers Suck! > Community > Jokes

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes

A joke list for all my fellow native Arizonans out there (most especially Jester)
  #1  
Old 10-05-2008, 09:45 PM
AsatruThorsman AsatruThorsman is offline
Intellectual Barbarian
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Birmingham, England
Posts: 0
Default A joke list for all my fellow native Arizonans out there (most especially Jester)

You know you're an Arizonan when:

1) You think any temperature under 90 degrees is "too cold."

2) You're surrounded by more Mexican restaurants than gas stations.

3) You start sweating the moment you step outside your house.

4) Your air conditioning bill is at least three times your phone bill.

5) You think an "exotic vacation" means going to Nogales, Mexico for the weekend.

6) You eat chips and salsa for breakfast.

7) You show up to a high-profile interview wearing a bolo tie.

8) You shout "Go Devils!" every time you see Griffindor playing Quidditch in a Harry Potter movie.

9) You think Wallace and Ladmo is high-brow humor.

10) You laugh at the naive tourists from around the world buying worthless souvenirs from the Grand Canyon's many tourist traps.

11) You own more water bottles than pens and pencils.

12) You have to peel yourself off the sofa.

13) You have fans to keep your fans cool.

14) You think rain is a miracle.

15) Everyone in your neighborhood is a do it yourself mechanic.

16) You use chili peppers as stocking stuffers for Christmas.

17) Hard work holds a certain fascination for you. You wonder how in the hell those Mexicans can do it.

18) Cinco de Mayo (unofficially known as "Drinko de Mayo") is a paid state holiday.

19) You hold tailgate parties in the dead of night--and you're still sweating like a pig!

20) You can tape a summer weather forecast and replay it daily without anyone knowing the difference.

21) "Formal dining" means you stop using paper plates for a night.

22) Political diversity is beloved--you can see Democrats, Libertarians, Independents AND moderate Republicans hung up in town square!

23) You get drunk on Whiskey Row in Prescott and wonder where $100 went.

24) You laugh at snowbirds when they say it's hot.

And finally, you REALLY know you're an Arizonan when...
25) "roughing it" means going FIVE WHOLE MINUTES without air conditioning!!!

  #2  
Old 10-05-2008, 10:46 PM
JoitheArtist's Avatar
JoitheArtist JoitheArtist is offline
pities the foo who's illogical
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,455
Default

HA!

My first year in college, my roomates were a girl from Arizona, and a girl from Oregon (I'm from the Texas Panhandle). When the first rain came, me and Arizona girl were outside dancing in it while Oregon girl looked at us like It would get to be above 70 degrees, and Oregon girl would be moaning about how how it was, while me and Arizona girl were delighting in the cool weather! LOL

Oh, and Oregon girl also thought that tumbleweeds were an invention of Hollywood.
__________________
"Eventually, everything that you have said becomes everything you will ever say." Eireann

My pony dolls: http://equestriarags.tumblr.com

  #3  
Old 10-05-2008, 10:57 PM
AdminAssistant's Avatar
AdminAssistant AdminAssistant is offline
Teaching Assistant
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 522
Default

A girl from Pittsburgh was complaining the other day about how HOT it was. It was a whopping 85 degrees.
__________________
"Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

  #4  
Old 10-06-2008, 12:29 AM
Greenday's Avatar
Greenday Greenday is offline
Professional Slacker
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 553
Default

My friend from Florida broke out her sweatshirt...when it was in the 70s. I break out my sweatshirt...when it's in the low 50s. 70s is t-shirt and shorts.
__________________
"I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

  #5  
Old 10-06-2008, 01:03 AM
aztoucan
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I do agree with mostly everything on there. Being one of a few who were born and raised there for the most part. In winter in Phx a cold day would be highs in the low 50's.

Where i live for now, Salt Lake City is a different story. Being a native "zonie" I laugh at all who complain diring the summer that its sooooo hot even though its 85-90 degrees. On the other hand I am the baby during winter because it is so dang cold...well at least to me.

  #6  
Old 10-06-2008, 01:35 AM
Bright_Star's Avatar
Bright_Star Bright_Star is offline
Diner Darlin'
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,376
Smile

My 1st duty station when I was in active duty Air Force was Davis Monthan Air Force Base in Tuscon, Arizona. I flew there & got to the airport around 8 in the morning. My sponsor picked me up & drove me to the base. I told him I couldn't believe how hot it was this early in the morning. He laughed & said.."You haven't see nothing yet". He was right. This was in April 1985 & by the time the summer arrived, it got to be 115 degrees!
They don't call it "Arid-Zona" for nothing...lol.

  #7  
Old 10-06-2008, 05:35 AM
edible_hat edible_hat is offline
Customer
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Radelaide.
Posts: 2,154
Default

Thanks to Google's ability to convert between measurement systems, I can understand what people are talking about! In South Australia, "hot weather" starts in the mid-30s Celsius, which is 95 Fahrenhiet. The hottest day that I remember was 49C, which is 120F.

Cold is anything below 12C, 53F.

ETA: One time my Canadian-born cousin was seen wearing nothing but a bathrobe and sandals outside when it was 1C (33.8F)

Last edited by edible_hat; 10-06-2008 at 11:01 AM.

  #8  
Old 10-07-2008, 07:31 PM
KiaKat's Avatar
KiaKat KiaKat is offline
Ninja Perv
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: HV, NY
Posts: 1,090
Default

I used to go barefoot till there was an inch of snow on the ground. Usually paired with a hippie skirt and loose top - rarely a coat.

Then I'd put on birks for a month or so, and switch to 'real' shoes sometime in December.

Yay for New England!

you know you're from Utah when
  #9  
Old 10-07-2008, 08:45 PM
smileyeagle1021's Avatar
smileyeagle1021 smileyeagle1021 is offline
I need a life
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Reno... kinda... sorta...
Posts: 5,265
Default you know you're from Utah when

Sense Arizona has one, I think we should have one for Utah too



Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange.

You can pronounce Tooele.

The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y. (and for the record, the U is better )

You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".

Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.

Hunting season is a school holiday.

The largest liquor store is the state government.

You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.

30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.

Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.

You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.

You can see the stars at night

You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.

Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.

You have more children than you can find biblical names for.

Your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out..

Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.

You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.

You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.

You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.

You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway.

You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.

You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.

You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.

Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.

Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.

You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."

Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon. (before you ask, yes my hotel does)

You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore. (FTR, Smiths Marketplace is da bomb)

You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.

Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.

People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.

There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.

The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.

People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.

In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.

Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.

When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.

Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.

Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.

"Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check.

More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.

You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.

You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.

Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.

Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.

You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.

You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.

You actually know the meaning of "utard"

You consider fry sauce a delicacy

You have ever heard the phrase "I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen" and you weren't at church.

You can hear an address like 1275 west 2240 south... and not only do you recognize it as a real address, but you know how to get there without ever having been within a mile of that address.

and one I'll add, you have ever driven over 100 miles to watch a movie you didn't want friends and family to know you were watching (but that could apply anywhere )
__________________
If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

  #10  
Old 10-07-2008, 08:50 PM
smileyeagle1021's Avatar
smileyeagle1021 smileyeagle1021 is offline
I need a life
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Reno... kinda... sorta...
Posts: 5,265
Default

Quote:
Quoth aztoucan View Post
Where i live for now, Salt Lake City is a different story. Being a native "zonie" I laugh at all who complain diring the summer that its sooooo hot even though its 85-90 degrees. On the other hand I am the baby during winter because it is so dang cold...well at least to me.
Hey, another SLCCSer, you'll be at the lunch on thursday I take it

oh and yes, those of us who were raised in this climate (Reno and Salt Lake are nearly identical when it comes to weather) think it is way too f*ing cold during the winter. Oh and I have to copy that list and send it to my uncle who lives in Mesa, he'll get a kick out of it.
__________________
If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:04 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.