Feel like a failure (not canned, but not in good standing either)

[WishfulSpirit]

Work is still frustrating.

A month ago I got a write-up for speaking to a guest too firmly (fair point). Today I got my butt chewed for going too far to help a guest and costing us money. Also fair. I do see what the bossman is talking about here, and I think it's a matter of finding the right balance (and getting back on my ADHD meds) but I'm really frustrated.

Bossman hasn't provided the physical conditions for us to do our best. We still don't get breaks or lunches (I've been asking about this for almost a year), and until recently I was scheduled in a way that made it impossible for me to get proper sleep. I was making a LOT of mistakes because I was so tired. I'm still not doing the best work because I'm always so hungry.

I told this to bossman, told him how little I and some other employees feel respected, and that it has me thinking about finding a different job. They put me on mid-shift where I'll always have someone to give me a break but I feel like a failure again. I really like this industry and want to build a carrer in it. But I feel like I can't cut it. I come to work every day and give my best, I deal with the difficult (and, in my state, ILLEGAL) work conditions as best I can, and it isn't enough.

[EricKei]

Keep track of these conditions and violations DAILY in a paper log. Document everything -- dates, times, names, etc. Ideally, keep it at home. Include as much detail as you can, including what you recall about prior break/lunch requests (remember that things such as minimum time between shifts, and whether breaks/lunch are mandatory, vary by state) .Be prepared to go to the local Labor Board (or whatever) -- while you still have the job, if need be. When you do go to them, you'll be the one with paper documentation, and the onus will be upon them to disprove them, for the most part.

[MoonCat]

Wait a minute. Let's look at this logically. They are violating the law, knowingly and intentionally, despite your pointing out to them that they are, in fact, breaking the law, not to mention being cruel and abusive to their employees....

And YOU feel like a failure?

YOU are doing your job to the best of your (unappreciated) ability! This place is NOT in any way a good example of the industry or of workplaces in general. You have in fact been SET UP TO FAIL by your employer! Frankly I believe the best thing you can do would be to find another job, because if they're violating one law, they are probably violating others, and why wait until they drag you down with them?

You will feel better and do better in an environment that is not toxic and abusive.

[HotelMinion]

That's awful. I get reprimanded for being too firm with the customers all the time. But if you're not, they walk all over you! Sometimes they do it anyway D:<
My last job was just as toxic as yours sounds, and you know what I did? GTFO of there! It had gotten so bad that I had to stop and retch while driving back home cuz I was so stressed out. That was the wakeup call for me. Though it is common to feel bad, it's not your fault! I get paid to take toxicity from customers, no one should get paid to take it from bad managers. A good manager is rare, sad to say.

[Shyla]

No breaks, lunches, or proper sleep? You're not a failure but it's amazing you're not ill. It sounds like your boss will yell at you no matter what. You're too nice, you're not nice enough. Please start looking for a new job immediately. You deserve better.

[WishfulSpirit]

I LIKE this place though. My other coworkers are awesome, and I've been in toxic work environments far worse than this. Today Bossman said the reason we aren't getting breaks is we need to ask when we need them (other jobs I've had scheduled breaks). The few times I have asked for a break, I have always been given one, and when I said the schedule wasn't working for my sleep, they changed it immediately.

It seems like his leadership style is "tell me what you need" moreso than other places I've been in. I will also admit to a tendency to avoid mentioning my own needs until things fall apart or blow up (something I'm still working on in my personal relationships, especially my marriage), and that's worse at work than it is at home. I'm not used to a boss who listens, and he does.

As someone with ADHD it takes me a long time to acclimate to a new environment, and I honestly think I'm really just learning how to do this job now, since nearly 11 months of being half-functional due to exhaustion, not to mention unmedicated, didn't lend themselves to absorbing information.

[EricKei]

What they said. Even if you plan to stay, document it anyway. Toxic is toxic, and you should not need to pay the price for manglement's incompetence.

If breaks are mandated in your state/by your company, seeing to it that employees take them is management's job. You and the others shouldn't need to remind him.

[MoonCat]

Hmmm. Beware. Maybe I'm just old and cynical (I'm definitely at least one of those!) but it sounds to me like an excuse. If you don't ask, you won't get a break because he will conveniently not think of mentioning it.

Well, if you really want to stay, do either or both of these: ALWAYS remember to ask for a break. If you have a phone with an alarm app, set it to remind you to ask for a break around the same time each day (give or take an occasional situation where you can't get away at that time). Don't skip a break. You need them.

And/or, offer to help set up a schedule for yourself and your co-workers. Believe me, things work better if there are structured breaks, provided everyone makes an effort to adhere to them and is considerate toward their co-workers.

[AngryFaery]

I would check out the laws for breaks in your area. I know here the company is required to have you take a break after so many hours apart if you are working enough hours. If they don't they're in violation. This has come up several times in reminding smokers they don't decide their breaks. We also had to report one fellow who thought he was being clever by trying to take all his breaks at the end of his shift to avoid helping with closing. He wouldn't accept that it wasn't legal.

It should be your boss's or manager's responsibility to make sure you're taking them on time. This thing about you having to ask sounds lazy on his part. I would definately see what the laws are.

[notalwaysright]

A month ago I got a write-up for speaking to a guest too firmly (fair point). Today I got my butt chewed for going too far to help a guest and costing us money. Also fair. I do see what the bossman is talking about here, and I think it's a matter of finding the right balance (and getting back on my ADHD meds) but I'm really frustrated.

I just wanted to say that you sound so hard on yourself about these issues. I mean, you're doing your best while not getting breaks and dealing with ADHD. Even taking away these issues, finding the balance between "too firm" and "too nice" is crazy hard. In hospitality I feel like all the customers just expect you to comp everything and throw in a tiara just for stepping inside the front doors. I really think you're doing much better than you give yourself credit for, regardless of your asshole Bossman.

[RealUnimportant]

If breaks are mandated in your state/by your company, seeing to it that employees take them is management's job.

Quoted for emphasis/truth.

There's all kinds of rules & regs about working time over here, and even more so in my business. A while back, one of our roster clerks was making all sorts of stupid errors; nothing that directly compromised safety, but plenty that screwed up people's expectations of days off etc. and caused a lot of reshuffling to happen even after the "final" rosters were issued each week (usually Thursday or Friday for a shift pattern that was intended to start from the immediately following Sunday.)

The clerk was a favourite of one of the managers so, when they got upset at the complaints, Manglement put out an email that all this excess reshuffling was meant to be sorted out before the final roster, and henceforth any further problems after that point were the responsibility of the staff involved. Big no-no, both to suggest this as a policy and to then put it in writing. Just one email pointing out the legal requirement for them to provide us with workable shifts resulted in a hasty backpedal, and the clerk found themselves assigned to tasks less likely to result in legal action if they fouled up!