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Every single day at my job I thank my lucky stars that I don't have, nor ever will have, children. I work PRETTY MUCH at a toy store. I work usually in the toy store section of a larger store that is a tourist destination in a small town. So I see lots and lots and lots of old people and children. And honestly I can't tell you which one I dislike more. But since I initially was going to make this post about kids, I'll stick to that theme.
The amount of times a mother will let go of a stroller and then turn away and do something unrelated and COMPLETELY IGNORE THE ENTIRE STROLLER is beyond my comprehension. Our store is very slightly slanted. The entire store. The whole damn thing. You put something with wheels on ANY PART of our store's floor and it will roll in ONE DIRECTION ONLY. This is why, when children put the "magic come-back rollers" on the floor to test them out, they don't work. Surprise. They're not broken, the building is. So when this lady's baby in a stroller started rolling directly toward the stairs that go down to the bottom floor of the building--did she notice? At all? Did she even notice when my CW had STOPPED the stroller from rolling toward the stairs? Did she even notice the one, two, three, FOUR TIMES he tried to get her attention?
Good frickin' grief, lemme tell ya.
The signs clearly say "Do not place toys on the floor" Why they say that is because we have the original hardwood flooring from the 1800s. It's half because we don't want people to step on toys left on the floor and half because the oil from the floor (routine floor oilings, you know the drill) will destroy many toys that are left on the floor and will also stain your child's nice clothes. FOREVER. DONE. NO MORE NICE SUNDAY DRESS. GET YOUR CHILD OFF THE FLOOR.
On a related note: Where is it ever okay to have your toddler wandering around without shoes on? This is a novelty shop. We have lots and lots and lots of glass items with an original hardwood floor with lots and lots and lots of cracks to wedge those glass pieces into. Is it so hard to logically make the assumption that perhaps one day little Timmy's gonna slice the shit out of his widdle toesies because of your obvious idiocy and inability to read the sign on the door that says "no bare feet?"
For the love of all that is holy.
We have THREE major attractions in the toy section of the store. One is a mechanical horse that's been there for God-knows-how-long. The kids who ride that thing have this perverse need to try to buck AGAINST it. Lemme tell you. When you've been working there for a year or so, you learn to tell just from the sound of her when she's straining. She is LOUD and when your ten year old is 200 pounds or is trying their hardest to break her, she can't handle it. Get the fuck off the horse.
The second is a popcorn machine clearly made in the 40s or 50s. We had it "fixed" and sent back to us the other day but the mechanics were in way over their heads and returned it broken despite claiming they fixed it. The baker who comes in actually got it to work but since it still only works 50% of the time, we've put an OUT OF ORDER sign on it. You would think someone murdered children and displayed them in the front window. It's a goddamn crisis.
At least the friggin 1916 weight and fortune machine works still.
Ahem. Teach your children to put things back where they belong. It's not funny, it's not "job security," it's fucking annoying as shit and we have over 75,000 items. You think I wanna put all those back? No. Don't. Move. My. Shit. AND GET YOUR GRIMEY HANDS OUT OF MY CANDY JARS.
I would never be able to have children. Never. Those who do, who raise them right: You're saints. The lot of you.
The amount of times a mother will let go of a stroller and then turn away and do something unrelated and COMPLETELY IGNORE THE ENTIRE STROLLER is beyond my comprehension. Our store is very slightly slanted. The entire store. The whole damn thing. You put something with wheels on ANY PART of our store's floor and it will roll in ONE DIRECTION ONLY. This is why, when children put the "magic come-back rollers" on the floor to test them out, they don't work. Surprise. They're not broken, the building is. So when this lady's baby in a stroller started rolling directly toward the stairs that go down to the bottom floor of the building--did she notice? At all? Did she even notice when my CW had STOPPED the stroller from rolling toward the stairs? Did she even notice the one, two, three, FOUR TIMES he tried to get her attention?
Good frickin' grief, lemme tell ya.
The signs clearly say "Do not place toys on the floor" Why they say that is because we have the original hardwood flooring from the 1800s. It's half because we don't want people to step on toys left on the floor and half because the oil from the floor (routine floor oilings, you know the drill) will destroy many toys that are left on the floor and will also stain your child's nice clothes. FOREVER. DONE. NO MORE NICE SUNDAY DRESS. GET YOUR CHILD OFF THE FLOOR.
On a related note: Where is it ever okay to have your toddler wandering around without shoes on? This is a novelty shop. We have lots and lots and lots of glass items with an original hardwood floor with lots and lots and lots of cracks to wedge those glass pieces into. Is it so hard to logically make the assumption that perhaps one day little Timmy's gonna slice the shit out of his widdle toesies because of your obvious idiocy and inability to read the sign on the door that says "no bare feet?"
For the love of all that is holy.
We have THREE major attractions in the toy section of the store. One is a mechanical horse that's been there for God-knows-how-long. The kids who ride that thing have this perverse need to try to buck AGAINST it. Lemme tell you. When you've been working there for a year or so, you learn to tell just from the sound of her when she's straining. She is LOUD and when your ten year old is 200 pounds or is trying their hardest to break her, she can't handle it. Get the fuck off the horse.
The second is a popcorn machine clearly made in the 40s or 50s. We had it "fixed" and sent back to us the other day but the mechanics were in way over their heads and returned it broken despite claiming they fixed it. The baker who comes in actually got it to work but since it still only works 50% of the time, we've put an OUT OF ORDER sign on it. You would think someone murdered children and displayed them in the front window. It's a goddamn crisis.
At least the friggin 1916 weight and fortune machine works still.
Ahem. Teach your children to put things back where they belong. It's not funny, it's not "job security," it's fucking annoying as shit and we have over 75,000 items. You think I wanna put all those back? No. Don't. Move. My. Shit. AND GET YOUR GRIMEY HANDS OUT OF MY CANDY JARS.
I would never be able to have children. Never. Those who do, who raise them right: You're saints. The lot of you.
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