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  • I'd like your opinion...

    Hello again everyone! Got a little time on my hands today (waiting for a camera to charge so I can finish a project.) Here's a question that came up at work, which I'd like to know people's opinions about;

    1. Is it okay for a male and female coworker to have lunch/take a break together?
    2. Does it make a difference if one of them is married and/or 10+ years older?
    3. Is it 'unhealthy' for coworkers to go to conventions/see movies/hang-out?

    I know some of these may sound odd, but all 3 are topics that have been coming up at work lately. I don't know if it is a generation gap, a society thing, or simple paranoia/jealousy on the part of certain parties, but I would really like to see what my fellow retail/service workers think.

    Any responses to the above questions would be appreciated, thanks!

  • #2
    For my money? Nothing wrong with any of them.

    Example - I used to hang out at a previous job with a girl I worked with. I'm married, she was recently divorced. Now, my wife also worked there, and, of course, the rumors started flying. I was, of course, having an affair, as that's the only reason I'd hang out a lot with a female.

    Work can be like school. Full of cliques and people desperately wanting to create more drama than there is.

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    • #3
      I'll rephrase your questions into simpler terms.

      Is it ok to be friends with your co-workers. Absolutely. I used to go to movies, and have been to gaming conventions with some of my now former co-workers. Hell I am still friends with some of them. To be fair to your questions though they are all male like myself.

      I used to carpool on lunch breaks with female co-workers all the time if we were headed to the same place to get food. And now in my new profession (working on a teaching degree) its a regular occurrence for teachers of opposite genders to eat lunch together. That sort of thing happens.

      My parents have worked in the same school district for years in opposite positions and opposite buildings. Heck they met when my mom was a student teacher in my dad's classroom. They now work in the same building with my mom being the secretary to the Principal. They make it a point to leave any personal issues at home.

      Where it becomes unprofessional is if you are more than friends and one of you has seniority over the other. That is the point where I would say you need to examine the relationship and decide if it is compromising your ability to do your job.

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      • #4
        Quoth Goddess of Retail View Post
        1. Is it okay for a male and female coworker to have lunch/take a break together?
        Yes.

        Quoth Goddess of Retail View Post
        2. Does it make a difference if one of them is married and/or 10+ years older?
        No.

        Quoth Goddess of Retail View Post
        3. Is it 'unhealthy' for coworkers to go to conventions/see movies/hang-out?
        No.

        Some people have issues and project them on others.
        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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        • #5
          I don't see anything wrong with any of that. I say hang out with who you want and poop on whatever anyone else thinks.
          https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
          Great YouTube channel check it out!

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          • #6
            When I worked in the call center some of my co-workers and I would get together on Friday Evenings for dinner. I left there 17 years ago and I still meet up with some of them anytime I am in town. (Moved away to be closer to my family)

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            • #7
              Im also of the opinion there is nothing wrong with any of those. Ive done all 3 and im still happily married and working.

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              • #8
                As long as everyone stays professional on the job, who cares what they do?

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                • #9
                  Agreed with the rest, with a little extra bit on #3: I would make sure to do so with the full knowledge and approval of any and all spouses/significant others involved, but beyond that, don't worry about what those not directly involved think.

                  Case in point: I like watching scary movies (within reason; I prefer psychological horror and primal fears, like in Japanese horror movies and "tamer" ghost movies, rather than slash and gore). My husband does not. We are friends with a married couple where the husband likes the scary stuff but the wife does not. We also have another friend who was single at the time who liked watching scary movies. At the point this story takes place, I'd only been married maybe six months or so, and the five of us were part of a slightly larger regular gaming group.

                  Ring 2 was coming out. I wanted to see it, but the husband didn't. Said married guy friend also wanted to see it, but his wife didn't. I at least needed to see the first Ring movie before going to theaters to see the second, so we planned an evening "date" to watch the first movie. Married Guy, Single Guy, and I sat out in the living room and watched the scary movie. Hubby and Married Girl, who didn't want anything to do with it, went into the spare room to roll up roleplaying characters for an upcoming game we were starting. No problem there.

                  Sequel came out in theaters, and Married Guy and I made plans to go see it without our spouses. We both felt a little weird about going on a "movie date" when we were married to other people, which is why Single Guy got invited along as well. That turned it from an awkward "date" to a group hang-out. But we never once cared what anyone else thought about us going to that movie together, because we knew, and our spouses knew, that it was just as friends.
                  "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                  - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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                  • #10
                    What a coincidence. I'm experiencing #1 and sort of hanging out with a male coworker right now.

                    And everyone is talking about us. Because in all of history, a male and female have NEVER been friends, right?

                    I absolutely love it. But then again, I'm to the point in my life where sometimes I just can't wait to hear what people are making up about me next
                    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                    • #11
                      No problem with any of it. Other coworkers may read more into it than is there, but in a word: fuck 'em.

                      I experienced the idiocy of coworkers and people not getting the "men being friends with women" thing many times. Most notably was when I worked at the brewpub with my best friend Neets, and invariably, because we hung out together so much, people would assume far more than was there. It got to the point where Neets, who is about as subtle as I am (i.e., not at all), would introduce herself to new hires as "Hi, I'm Neets. This is my best friend Jester. No we're not fucking."

                      Amusingly, that is the same job where I set her up with Golf Boy oh, about 16 years ago. They've been married now almost ten.

                      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                      Still A Customer."

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                      • #12
                        1) Yes
                        2) No
                        3) No
                        Fixing problems... one broken customer at a time.

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