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The kids sukith too

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  • #16
    If I would have said that in front of my mother, I would have just found the rest of my teeth and I'm 37!! I have never ever heard my mother or my grandmother use that kind of language ever, the entire time that I was growing up. The only word that my grandmother every said was hell, and that was in the proper context. I never really heard swearing as I was growing up, other than the TV or friends.
    Woman are like guns, if you don't treat us right, we'll blow up in your face!

    Pain is your bodies way of telling you that you're still alive.

    I am also known as Liquid Skin and Silkekitten.

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    • #17
      When he's older, he'll be using that same language when trying to pick up girls. Mommy sure isn't teaching him that isn't an appropriate thing to say to a female.
      Got some sad news for you...that kind of language was probably used by his dad, and it worked on his mom. :-(

      She isn't teaching him because for her, it probably IS appropriate. Guys that don't respect women can still get sex.

      This business of disrespectful men is not the man's fault. It's the WOMAN'S fault. A man that does not have to act like a decent human being to get sex won't act like a decent human being. The woman gets knocked up, has a child, and then does not teach that child how relationships and respect are supposed to work. It's a cycle.

      The hand that rocks the cradle really does rule the world.
      Last edited by Ree; 06-30-2007, 11:04 AM.

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      • #18
        Quoth aurelemsrealm View Post
        If I'd have spoken to an adult like that in front of either of my parents at 6 years old, you can bet I would have tasted the back of their hand and told to show respect to adults. They just didn't tolerate such behavior, period.
        If I had talked to my mom that way, I wouldn't be alive today. She brought me into this world, by Dog she can take me out too.

        My grandma would not have put up with it either. One good slap from her paralyzed hand would send a person into next week
        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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        • #19
          Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
          This business of disrespectful men is not the man's fault. It's the WOMAN'S fault.
          What happens when there isn't a woman in the childs life and is only raised by his father? Not all kids in the world have a mother, and not all single fathers are good role models?
          Last edited by Ree; 06-30-2007, 11:05 AM.
          Woman are like guns, if you don't treat us right, we'll blow up in your face!

          Pain is your bodies way of telling you that you're still alive.

          I am also known as Liquid Skin and Silkekitten.

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          • #20
            Quoth Best Made Tacos View Post

            1. I strongly suspect the father is a dealer, from what he has said to me, but I don't have any proof beyond what they said to me and what I saw in their house.

            2. My concern is that it's my close friends place, and although I am over there nearly every weekend, it is not MY place - any friction between his neighbours will affect him, not me.

            3I'm sort of torn - the kids in this house atleast have 2 parents to care for them, the father works and the house isn't in total squalor, plus the kids appear to be attending school. I see them bouncing around in their backyard on their trampoline and they wave to me when I pass - they seem happy enough and appear to be properly fed and clothed.

            4. I was polite to them and they invited me to come over and see them again, but I really don't want to be near them, as the man got extremely sleazy towards me (with his wife in the next room, no less) and made some strange offer about helping me out 'if I wanted to earn some money' (!)

            5. I'll have to wait and see, I guess - I left my details with welfare and said I was willing to answer further questions and be contacted if anything developed. Not sure if there's anything further I can do...
            Point number one, verbal hints that are too obvious and paraphenelia in the house itself is pretty blatant. Where I'm from that's ground for search and seizure right there.

            Two, His neighbors don't have to know who got them arrested and their children into better hands. Offending someone is not worse than leaving those kids like that, and I'm glad you did take steps.

            Three, These kids do not "have two parents caring for them". From what you've said so far it doesn't sound like a safe loving environment AT ALL. Their parents may love them but are not treating them with the respect or concern I'd show a dog. They would be much better off in another place if their environment is like what you've described. Of course they seem happy when out and visible, no one ever sees what goes on behind closed doors, and the kids don't know life has the chance of being better, they think they've got it pretty good.

            Four, this guy is obviously bad news if not a total perv, and said offer was definitely an invite to do something less than legal.

            Five, yes please continue to give info to the local legal authorities.

            I have a roommate who has severe mental and psychological issues and possible brain damage from having to grow up in a home very similar, and the full extent of problems is crippling her socially as she tries to learn to be an adult and get employed and simply function from day to day, at the age of nearly thirty. It's horrific.

            Keep doing the right thing.
            "Respect: to admit that something one may not enjoy or prefer might still have great value." ~L. Munoa

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            • #21
              There was recently a big story in the next town over about a 2 year old shot dead in her mother's arms by her own father. Her father was a drug dealer who was too stupid to avoid getting into a gunfight in a parking lot with another drug dealer while his child and his child's mother were standing right there.

              Extremely fucked up situation. I don't care how happy or well cared for that child was. She was in a enormously dangerous situation, and now she's dead.

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              • #22
                "What happens when there isn't a woman in the childs life and is only raised by his father? Not all kids in the world have a mother, and not all single fathers are good role models?"

                My point is that when a man is disrespecful of a woman, and she allows that and forms a relationship with him, and eventually has a child by him, the child only learns what he or she sees. It doesnt' matter which parent raises the child in this situation...both parents think treating women like that is acceptable. So that is what the child learns. Girls learn to expect it and take it. Boys learn that's how to be a man. They grow up and the cycle continues.

                Plently of single parent households out there where the child learns respect. But they only learn it if the parent has learned it.

                My point is that women are the ones here with the power, but they don't exercise it. Don't boink men who treat you like crap. Unfortunately, a lot of women have a real hard time grasping that concept. And they pass it on to their kids.

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                • #23
                  Quoth DGoddess View Post
                  If I had talked to my mom that way, I wouldn't be alive today.

                  Oh me too...my mom had the evil eye, and that was enough to make me stop whatever i was doing!

                  And my grandmother, she was tiny, but she did what we grandkids called the "vulcan death grip" she would pinch your shoulder right on top, right next to your collarbone and behind, and it HURT! You didnt' mess with Grandma! and if you didn't listen at first, she just pinched harder.
                  Last edited by Ree; 06-30-2007, 11:10 AM.

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                  • #24
                    Quoth Sharsarannon View Post
                    *MOD EDIT - EXCESSIVE QUOTING

                    Keep doing the right thing.
                    All excellent points, Sharsarannon, and I appreciate your advice. You are right. there's no way to know how the children are treated behind closed doors. I will continue observing them when I am there. I suspect it can only be a matter of time before they throw another all night deafening party and if I am at my friends home (I often house sit for him) then I will call the police and advise them that this is a house with drugs and young children.

                    One of my friends is quite good friends with a woman who works in child protection - I might ask if I could have a discreet word with her soon as well.
                    Last edited by Ree; 06-30-2007, 11:09 AM.

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                    • #25
                      I wish we could call CPS on verbal abuse..... I think it can be extremely detrimental and harmful - but they can't do much about it... Unfortunately there's too many other idiots in this world beating on and doing worse things to their kids..... those are the cases that have to be focused on.

                      Again, I wish that all the crappy nasty awful horrible people out there would be the ones w/ fertility problems........

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                      • #26
                        Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                        This business of disrespectful men is not the man's fault. It's the WOMAN'S fault. A man that does not have to act like a decent human being to get sex won't act like a decent human being. The woman gets knocked up, has a child, and then does not teach that child how relationships and respect are supposed to work. It's a cycle.
                        I'm going to take serious exception to this. Yes, it IS a cycle, for both men AND women. The kids grow up in a crappy environment, with an abusive father and a mother that puts up with it, yes, and they learn that that's the way it should be. Both the boys and the girls learn it very very well. And then the girl grows up to have a relationship/kids with a sucky guy, and the boy grows up to BE a sucky guy, because they BOTH think that that's just how things are. To place the responsibility for breaking the cycle only on the woman's shoulders is not just unfair to the woman (how she was raised is no more her fault than how the crappy guy was raised, why should she be the only one required to have the insite and strength to break the cycle?), it's also unfair to the man. It places him at about the level of a dog, unable to make his own choices, instead only being as good as will get him his reward. BOTH genders are responsible for how they treat others and the example they set for kids, and BOTH are fully capable of making that choice.
                        What a wonderful thing humanity is-- passionate, intelligent, inquisitive, generous, fully of hope and joy, noble of spirit, and above all... delicious! -- LaCroix

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                        • #27
                          I have to agree that it rests on both genders. I used to work at a place that only hired women and while most of us were women not to be messed with - we had one gal that had the worst boyfriend ever - it took us months of telling her what he did/was doing was totally wrong and messed up. She didn't think he was so bad, because at least he wasn't as bad as her dad. Which made us all want to hunt down her dad and beat the living crap out of him.

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                          • #28
                            Quoth Rolling Star View Post
                            I would have beat the snot out of that little kid if I was his mother. You have to wonder what kind of environment he's been exposed to.
                            You can't these day's without someone calling abuse on you. I saw a parent slap a child, just a small slap because he was throwing a tantrum because he could not get a chocolate bar He took the chocolate bar anyways and put it on the counter. She slapped his hand because of this. It was not a hard slam she just took his hand and slapped it. Not too hard. This person later said I should call security.

                            lady : You know you really need to call security on that mother.
                            me : For what
                            lady : Child abuse
                            me : Child abuse, it's perfectly all right to smack your kid on the arm
                            lady : She went overboard, you should not smack your children in public, and she must have done it harder than you think because he is crying.

                            Then she went to tell the manager about the "abusive" parent.

                            We the lady and I both had an argument about if it was abuse or not. The manager said he did not see it so he can't determine whether it is abuse.
                            She told him to check the security tapes and threatened to call headquarters.

                            To this day I think the child was not crying because of the pain of being slapped but out of frustration because he was not allowed to buy a chocolate bar, and because it was close to midnight.

                            Another thing that irks me is I don't know why these parents take their kids shopping so late. I mean he must have been like 5 or 6, and this was on a school night.

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                            • #29
                              Mischugenah, I see your point. You're right, it really is both gender's responsibility, as by now, it's a long-running cycle of both genders learning to expect and accept some really screwed up situations.

                              I do tend to judge my own gender more harshly, mainly because it is THEY who bear the burden of getting pregnant and having to care for children they many times can't afford or aren't equipt to deal with. The man can walk away. The woman can't. Her stakes are much higher. That's just biology. Since she's got much more to lose, than she should be the one with the greater responsibilty to herself. But too often, women surrender that power to men. And when the man is a useless choad, we get disasterous results and innocent babies caught in the mess.

                              What kills me about humans is that we like to think we are so much more evolved and advanced than animals. And does the female of any other species choose inferior males to mate with? Some birds have to build good nests to attract females. Various animals (peacocks, deer, elk, etc) have to show their health and success by growing such showy markers as beautiful feathers and huge antlers, signs that an animal has resources in excess (these things are expensive to the animal in terms of nutrition, for instance). Only male humans don't have to prove anything in order to get laid. Hence the proliferation of crappy or non-exsistant fathers, abusive men, and what have you.

                              I'm not saying women should go out and hook up with the guy with the fat wallet by any means. What I am saying is that many men prove themselves abysmally UNFIT even before their partners get around to shucking their panties for them, and THAT I simply don't get.

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                              • #30
                                Quoth Best Made Tacos View Post

                                Here's hoping that 6 year old grows up and turns out OK, in spite of the other influences in his life.
                                Me too, I hope he grows up decent somehow so he doesnt restart the cycle of whatever is going on in his home.

                                Quoth Gabrielle Proctor View Post
                                IUnfortunately, 40 miles south, around the area I work(it's a wealthier area), there are these soccer moms that don't dicipline their kids and you can't either. If they act up in your store and you tell them to cut it out, you're the one getting yelled at because the kid tattled on YOU.
                                After the one mom who went nuts on me agreeing with her, I was definitely not going to say anything to that. I don't know if anything I did would have done any good. I'm sure the mother was already ashamed internally, and my silence was probably not easy on her too. Not that I didn't want to give HER a look though, for how she handled it.

                                Quoth aurelemsrealm View Post
                                If I'd have spoken to an adult like that in front of either of my parents at 6 years old, you can bet I would have tasted the back of their hand and told to show respect to adults.
                                What's scary about that now a days is that you can be taken to court for punishing your kids pyshically in any manner.

                                Quoth iradney View Post
                                If my Mom had been there, she would've torn his mother a new one. In fact, a SET of new ones, with matching shoes and handbags.
                                Quoth Catwoman2965 View Post
                                my mom had the evil eye, and that was enough to make me stop whatever i was doing!
                                I wish you mom had been then You know I could never say anything because she could complain, but it would be great to have another customer call her out on her poor reaction to his bad behavior.

                                Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                                This business of disrespectful men is not the man's fault. It's the WOMAN'S fault. A man that does not have to act like a decent human being to get sex won't act like a decent human being. The woman gets knocked up, has a child, and then does not teach that child how relationships and respect are supposed to work. It's a cycle.
                                I'm torn about that. I always wondered how stupid women could be to get in bad relationships, especailly when they keep saying "he loves me". People who love you don't hurt you THAT much. They wanna make you happy, not sad! Then I meet a fairly decent girl who seemed pretty fun, but as I got to know her I began to see how smart, normal people would get into such crappy relationships. It's a perception and personality problem, with an extreme lack of REAL confidence. I don't know nearly enough though to have a solid judgement on who's at fault.

                                The mother knew it was not appropriate though, hence the mouth covering. Obviously she's in too deep since her reactiont to his cursing was so pathetic. It makes me sad to think of the cycle continueing....

                                Quoth mischugenah View Post
                                I'm going to take serious exception to this. Yes, it IS a cycle, for both men AND women.
                                I think she's talking about being responsible for letting the behavior happen since the mom obviously doesn't do anything to stop it. She probably allows her husband to do the same disrespectful behavior to her. I do think it goes both ways though, the angry woman who stomped off to complain about me talking to her kid had a very sad, meek husband. I think it can happen both ways, man or woman letting people mistreat them and their kids. You just don't hear about the men so much because of our society
                                Last edited by Ree; 06-30-2007, 11:19 AM.

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