The Grunters

[GingerBiscuit]

The Grunters are a tribe of customers that exist solely to exasperate and infuriate people who work with the public. They appear similar to HomoSapiens, only with wildly dishevilled hair, a bad smell, stooping posture, dull eyes and slack jaw. They appear not to have evolved to being able to use language yet. They speak ina series of seemingly unconnected vowel sounds, which occaisionally raise in pitch and speed when upset. Some scientists theorize there is some meaning behind their grunting, although it is unlikely.

A typical 'conversation' with one will go as follows.

A- Poor person dealing with them
G- Grunter.

A: Hello there. Do you need any help at all?
G: Herrr.
A: O...K. Let me know if you need anything.
G: Hu.
.......

A: Found everything you need?
G: Yuh.
A: Do you need a bag with that?
G: Yuh!
A: Ok, and would you like a copy of the magazine?
G: Nu-uh!
A: That'll be £xx.xx please.
G: Nuuuh! Offuh! Offuh!
A: .... Sorry?
G: *wild hand movements* OFFUH!
A: OH! The special offer! I'm afraid that's on the smaller size. Would you like me to get you one?
G: Yuuh.
A: There you go. I've voided off your other one and the price is now £x.xx.
G: Uh.
A: Thankyou!
G: Thu.

Here we see an attempt of communication between a Grunter and a more intelligent life form. As you can see, it doesn't go well. The Grunter is threatened by intelligence and competence.

[mariamousie1]

Did these people just get defrosted out of a glacier? Were they wearing animal skins and carrying clubs? Next time they come in, check for brow ridges, occipital bun, and lack of protruding chin. Then call the Smithsonian Institute right away!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Did these people just get defrosted out of a glacier? Were they wearing animal skins and carrying clubs? Next time they come in, check for brow ridges, occipital bun, and lack of protruding chin. Then call the Smithsonian Institute right away!

Heh. Just send the Smithsonian to the Kitty . . . they'll find a good assortment for their collection.

We have varying sub-species of this group. Sub-species include the:

Mute Neandrethal - similar to behavior of a typical Neandrethal, however is incapable of speech. Usually responds with blank stare. Some are also incapable of hearing as well, but researchers are still looking into this one.

Cellphone Neandrethal - Is capable of speech, but with a limited vocabulary and usually seen with an appendage resembling a cellphone attached to one ear. They're not capable of handling two conversations at once, either - much less pay attention to their surroundings. They have a tendency to roam aimlessly through aisles and parking lots especially, but will come to a screeching halt at a checkout lane and not move until prodded with a stick or similar.

Any others I missed?

[FenigDurak]

Did these people just get defrosted out of a glacier? Were they wearing animal skins and carrying clubs? Next time they come in, check for brow ridges, occipital bun, and lack of protruding chin. Then call the Smithsonian Institute right away!

I'm fairly certain this guy would have something to say about that.


I'm fairly certain I dated a guy that looked vaguely like these cavemen...

[Crazeyal]

Well according to the commercials, he'd probably be on the OTHER side of the counter, loudly wondering why "WE" are considered "Evolved!!!"

[ArenaBoy]

First off: http://youtube.com/watch?v=qqCcSc-se24 http://youtube.com/watch?v=yPdCOS7d1oc

Second, grunters don't have to be disheveled. They are also old men who are clean cut and dress nicely except their grunts sound like The Daily Show's Dick Cheney impersonation. What I really hate was the cocky types who always seemed to yell.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Second, grunters don't have to be disheveled. They are also old men who are clean cut and dress nicely except their grunts sound like The Daily Show's Dick Cheney impersonation. What I really hate was the cocky types who always seemed to yell.

Wah! Wah! Wah..wahwahwah...

I love Jon Stewart!

[blas]

That's all Dick Cheney ever says on "Lil Bush" as well.....

I always just got the flat out Neanderthals of all kinds at the gas station. They knew a mild form of English, but not without mixing it with their ooga boogas and haruuumps!

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

The *sighers* piss me off even more. They show the same behavior intellect as toddlers!!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

The *sighers* piss me off even more. They show the same behavior intellect as toddlers!!

Actually, I've witnessed toddlers with better social skills.

[Jack7957]

First off: http://youtube.com/watch?v=qqCcSc-se24 http://youtube.com/watch?v=yPdCOS7d1oc

These are the two I like...
News interview
Airport

[morgana]

I'm fairly certain this guy would have something to say about that.


I'm fairly certain I dated a guy that looked vaguely like these cavemen...

My ex-husband *was* a caveman. At least according to one of his doctors.

Apparently, Cliff's bone structure in xrays looked much more like that of the Neanderthal than like any modern human. Pronounced brow ridge, shortened skull-back, all of the bones thicker and flatter than they should have been. The doc actually talked about writing him up in one of the medical journals. (Don't know if he ever did. Should look . . .)

But it does explain a few things, really.