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Not an instance of suck, per se, but one of incredible - nay, CATASTROPHIC failure of the cerebral organ.
THE BACKDROP:
I used to work for an auto-parts store (retail/discount), and back in those days you could buy that old R-12 refrigerant for your car's air conditioner in small cans for like a buck. The problem with retail/discount auto parts is it attracts all manner of self-proclaimed 'mechanics' - many of whom should be legally barred from owning tools, as we shall see.
THE STORY:
A long, long time ago, in a place not too terribly far from here, an incredible event of industrial-strength stupid took place.
A very hot August afternoon, and the store is dead slow. Maybe five customers since the store opened nearly six hours ago. We'd pulled all the backstock we could, faced and fronted everything, mopped everything, cleaned everything, dusted off everything, and now we were actually playing cards at the parts counter.
I'd gone to the restroom and was on my way back to the parts counter when the front door opened and in strode two gentlemen - one older, in his fifties I'd guess, the other younger, early twenties probably.
I approach, as I'm the closest, and go into my own (distinctly NON-corporate) schpiel - "Hi, can I help you find anything today?"
The older gentleman turns to me, says hi, and asks for 'freezon'. Now, I've gotten into this trap before - 'freezon' could be either 'antifreeze' or 'freon' (aka R12) - useful substances both, but hardly interchangeable. So I ask, "Freon for an air conditioner?" To which he replies, "Yeah."
Well, out of coincidence, he happened to be standing exactly two feet in front of a case-stack of these little cans of R12, which happened to also be on special for like 89 cents (I'm seriously dating myself here, yeah?). I point this out, he picks up two cans, and starts toward the cash register at the front of the store. Per corporate policy (upsell, plus-sell, sell, sell, SELL!) I snatch up one of the little hose kits that allow you to hook this pressurized can up to the system (It's kind of necessary) and ask him if he needs the kit. He replies no, so naturally I assume (there's that word!) that he already has one. I ring up his purchase, wish him a nice day, and he exits the store. The end? What do YOU think?
I'd returned to the card game at the back of the store, and we'd gotten in a hand or two before the front door flies open again - the younger fellow runs back inside, wide-eyed.
"CALL 9-1-1! The can exploded, and he's hurt, hurry, call an ambulance!"
SHIT! I think, he hooked that damned thing up to the high pressure side of the system (definitely possible, and definitely a no-no). I tell my coworkers to call 9-1-1 and I'd go outside to see what I could do to help.
I sprint outside - and am very puzzled by what I see. I'm expecting to see this guy on his back with blood and shrapnel everywhere. Instead, he's sitting on the curb holding his face. No blood. No shrapnel. No screaming. No sign of anything more serious than a mild headache. Then I notice something even more odd. The can, very much in one piece, is lying on the ground. Next to the (wait for it…..) CAN OPENER.
Now, anyone who's ever seen one of these cans will tell you it's nigh-impossible to get a can opener on them. They're designed that way for a reason - to resist efforts to open them with a CAN OPENER. You don't want to do this because Freon is stored in a liquid state under high pressure - if you puncture that can, it will go from liquid to a gaseous state almost instantly, and in so doing there's a very real risk of getting frostbite (gaseous freon isn't something you want to be breathing, either)
You're supposed to use the special fitting (that hose kit I spoke of), which seals against the can and allows the contents to leave only via the hose, which would be hooked to the air conditioning system.
This fellow had managed to defy all efforts to prevent his opening that can with a can opener. It could not have been easy. This is either a testament to human determination, or to monumental ignorance - I cannot decide which. But wait, it gets BETTER.
To shorten up the story a bit (too late….), the ambulance arrives, and they put the older gentleman on a stretcher, preparing to take him to the hospital (good news: he wasn't badly hurt, they just felt he should get checked over to be sure), and as they're loading him up, he asks me to go close the hood of his car for him, so that nobody steals his battery.
Sure, says I, but when I go to do so, I was once again greatly puzzled by the sight that met my eyes.
There was no sign of an air conditioning system on the car. No compressor, no condenser, no hoses, no receiver/drier assembly, no brackets (empty or otherwise), no extra sheaves on the engine pulleys. The car DID NOT have air conditioning. It had never HAD air conditioning. Never EVER.. I did notice, however, that the radiator cap had been removed.
Mind you, this took place nearly twenty years ago, and in that time I've not been able to figure out just what was going in that parking lot on that hot August day. Did he think that adding freon to a radiator would give his car air conditioning? At first, I thought that maybe I'd given him the wrong thing, that maybe he'd actually asked for antifreeze, but as I'd mentioned earlier, I'd been in that trap before and I had very specifically asked him if he wanted it for air conditioning. So, I'm pretty sure that he hadn't asked me for antifreeze.
Car was gone the next morning, never saw either of them again.
THE BACKDROP:
I used to work for an auto-parts store (retail/discount), and back in those days you could buy that old R-12 refrigerant for your car's air conditioner in small cans for like a buck. The problem with retail/discount auto parts is it attracts all manner of self-proclaimed 'mechanics' - many of whom should be legally barred from owning tools, as we shall see.
THE STORY:
A long, long time ago, in a place not too terribly far from here, an incredible event of industrial-strength stupid took place.
A very hot August afternoon, and the store is dead slow. Maybe five customers since the store opened nearly six hours ago. We'd pulled all the backstock we could, faced and fronted everything, mopped everything, cleaned everything, dusted off everything, and now we were actually playing cards at the parts counter.
I'd gone to the restroom and was on my way back to the parts counter when the front door opened and in strode two gentlemen - one older, in his fifties I'd guess, the other younger, early twenties probably.
I approach, as I'm the closest, and go into my own (distinctly NON-corporate) schpiel - "Hi, can I help you find anything today?"
The older gentleman turns to me, says hi, and asks for 'freezon'. Now, I've gotten into this trap before - 'freezon' could be either 'antifreeze' or 'freon' (aka R12) - useful substances both, but hardly interchangeable. So I ask, "Freon for an air conditioner?" To which he replies, "Yeah."
Well, out of coincidence, he happened to be standing exactly two feet in front of a case-stack of these little cans of R12, which happened to also be on special for like 89 cents (I'm seriously dating myself here, yeah?). I point this out, he picks up two cans, and starts toward the cash register at the front of the store. Per corporate policy (upsell, plus-sell, sell, sell, SELL!) I snatch up one of the little hose kits that allow you to hook this pressurized can up to the system (It's kind of necessary) and ask him if he needs the kit. He replies no, so naturally I assume (there's that word!) that he already has one. I ring up his purchase, wish him a nice day, and he exits the store. The end? What do YOU think?
I'd returned to the card game at the back of the store, and we'd gotten in a hand or two before the front door flies open again - the younger fellow runs back inside, wide-eyed.
"CALL 9-1-1! The can exploded, and he's hurt, hurry, call an ambulance!"
SHIT! I think, he hooked that damned thing up to the high pressure side of the system (definitely possible, and definitely a no-no). I tell my coworkers to call 9-1-1 and I'd go outside to see what I could do to help.
I sprint outside - and am very puzzled by what I see. I'm expecting to see this guy on his back with blood and shrapnel everywhere. Instead, he's sitting on the curb holding his face. No blood. No shrapnel. No screaming. No sign of anything more serious than a mild headache. Then I notice something even more odd. The can, very much in one piece, is lying on the ground. Next to the (wait for it…..) CAN OPENER.
Now, anyone who's ever seen one of these cans will tell you it's nigh-impossible to get a can opener on them. They're designed that way for a reason - to resist efforts to open them with a CAN OPENER. You don't want to do this because Freon is stored in a liquid state under high pressure - if you puncture that can, it will go from liquid to a gaseous state almost instantly, and in so doing there's a very real risk of getting frostbite (gaseous freon isn't something you want to be breathing, either)
You're supposed to use the special fitting (that hose kit I spoke of), which seals against the can and allows the contents to leave only via the hose, which would be hooked to the air conditioning system.
This fellow had managed to defy all efforts to prevent his opening that can with a can opener. It could not have been easy. This is either a testament to human determination, or to monumental ignorance - I cannot decide which. But wait, it gets BETTER.
To shorten up the story a bit (too late….), the ambulance arrives, and they put the older gentleman on a stretcher, preparing to take him to the hospital (good news: he wasn't badly hurt, they just felt he should get checked over to be sure), and as they're loading him up, he asks me to go close the hood of his car for him, so that nobody steals his battery.
Sure, says I, but when I go to do so, I was once again greatly puzzled by the sight that met my eyes.
There was no sign of an air conditioning system on the car. No compressor, no condenser, no hoses, no receiver/drier assembly, no brackets (empty or otherwise), no extra sheaves on the engine pulleys. The car DID NOT have air conditioning. It had never HAD air conditioning. Never EVER.. I did notice, however, that the radiator cap had been removed.
Mind you, this took place nearly twenty years ago, and in that time I've not been able to figure out just what was going in that parking lot on that hot August day. Did he think that adding freon to a radiator would give his car air conditioning? At first, I thought that maybe I'd given him the wrong thing, that maybe he'd actually asked for antifreeze, but as I'd mentioned earlier, I'd been in that trap before and I had very specifically asked him if he wanted it for air conditioning. So, I'm pretty sure that he hadn't asked me for antifreeze.
Car was gone the next morning, never saw either of them again.
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