Job fairs are off-limits

[ShadowBall]

I know that sounds lazy....I guess what I meant is I'm not sure if being wiped out physically or wiped out mentally is worse. In my case, probably physically; I can take a lot of mental exhaustion and abuse without killing anyone, but I get tired pretty quick from anything too physical. I can't even do yoga - I tried doing it once and by the second pose, I was sore, panting and tired. So much for yoga being relaxing. I'm not even tremendously overweight either - I'm just a weakling.

And I know stress can cause issues too - I actually thought I was developing ulcers at the call center because I had a lot of stomach pain and I was nauseous every single day. Turned out to be a big change in my monthly cycles, but still.

And sadly, I have a lot of health concerns that I cannot get treated...I'm on my mother's insurance and she won't let me see a doctor unless it's for something really clean-cut like an obvious ear infection. This is because I was sent all over the hospital as a teenager because my retarded doctor said I had either rheumatoid arthritis, lupus or connective tissue disease. Thousands of dollars worth of tests later, I found out nothing was wrong and the initial test that suggested illness was a fluke.

This has basically made my mother doubt doctors and she pretty much feels my inability to breathe properly, my physical weakness, getting tired quickly, and being exhausted every single day are just me overreacting. So I can't find out why those things happen until I am on my own and probably have my own insurance. I would love to know what makes me tired because I've tried everything to fix that - exercise, B vitamins, caffeine, iron (thought maybe I was anemic), changing my sleep schedule. Doesn't even take the edge off the exhaustion. And it's not even that my body is tired...I am capable of doing stuff, but I always feel like I didn't sleep and that makes me just begrudgingly do everything.

Good times to be had by all where I live.

[Pixilated]

My guess ... and I am definitely not a doctor, psychiatrist, or anything even remotely related to either ... is that a lot of your physical problems stem from trying to "grin and bear it" in your home situation. Mental stress, as several here have pointed out, can make you very sick, and your home life sounds like a textbook example of a mentally stressful situation. The fact your mother "won't let" you see a doctor unless she thinks it's worth the time and money is a telling point right there.

Have you considered getting a job and getting the heck out of there ASAP, and putting off grad school for a while?

[Mikkel]

My guess ... and I am definitely not a doctor, psychiatrist, or anything even remotely related to either ... is that a lot of your physical problems stem from trying to "grin and bear it" in your home situation.

That's my guess as well (and not a doctor either), "inability to breathe properly, physical weakness, getting tired quickly, and being exhausted every single day" can all be signs of stress (or cancer ).

At the very least it's symptoms which should be looked into by a doctor.

[scruff]

I was at the scammy call center for about two months before I was fired. I was told to GTFO for several reasons, but could I just say I left on my own? The branch of the company I worked at closed, so it's not like they could contact them and clarify.

Either omit it from your CV or list it as a temporary position.

[ShadowBall]

Unfortunately, quitting school temporarily can't be done. My school has this program set up in such a way that if you don't do it in one straight run, you basically fuck everything up. It's either all or nothing. And since my mother needs me to get the coveted Master's Degree That Leads To A Six-Figure Job™. School itself is not bad...it's just the cost and the motherfucking financial department that refuses to give me a loan despite the fact I obviously cannot afford to be there by paying out-of-pocket. I wish this dump was like undergrad where I could get grants for being poor, but nooooo....grad students are all obviously rollin' in the dough, so they don't need free money.

My biggest health concern is the tiredness because that is what makes me not want to do anything. Weird thing is it just started happening out of nowhere back in undergrad about three years ago. I just went from getting refreshing sleep to being tired all day long in what seemed like a single night. I wasn't even all that stressed out, so I can't blame the exhaustion on my life now. Breathing troubles also began in undergrad (but have gotten better since I no longer live in the city, which is polluted). Some of my issues may stem from the fact I don't really exercise, but that's only because I feel too tired to want to get up and move and I just begrudgingly do the exercise...meaning I do it half-assed.

The weird thing is none of this gets better when I am not at home. Like when I go to school or go visit a friend out of town and I am not near my mother, I'm still exhausted, weak and find myself out of breath after doing things like walking up a staircase. I've also had headaches every day for the last four years, but I know those are definitely tension headaches and I've actually gotten used to them. I would say that you're right and that most of my symptoms are related to stress. Some might be due to my weight too.

And I have left off the call center job completely from my resume. I really did not learn how to do anything useful there...except maybe refrain from killing people who pissed me off, and even then it was by a slim margin.

I don't see myself getting a job anytime soon anyway since most of my area is currently underwater. And it's not like anyone will hire me when they hear I need to run off for two months out of the year for school. I can only try, but the second employers hear I won't be there about 98 percent of the year making them money, they don't want anything to do with me. Hell, I'm offering to do art for a couple bucks a drawing and STILL no one will hire me.

I'm almost beginning to think going on welfare or disability or something would be easier than trying to find a damn job. Almost.

[Seshat]

Welfare or disability would get you financially independent of your mother for long enough for you to get the hell out of there and start your own life.

As for the fatigue/etc symptoms: if there are charity clinics or students clinics, get one of their doctors to see you. It does sound like one of the stress-caused illnesses to me; but chronic stress can end up physically fucking up your body.
(IANADoctor, I'm just someone who's researched it for my own needs.)

Lack of motivation is another stress-caused symptom, it can also be caused by depression, and a number of purely physical illnesses. My doctor has improved my lack of motivation by giving me a particular psychoactive drug - with my combination of illnesses and personal physiology, it's helped.

With regard to the exercise, and the weakness:

Do some amount of exercise - something you can normally do, even if you half-ass it, and log that in a log book.
The next day, record how you feel physically.
The next day, exercise.
Next day, record.

Do that, say - Mon, Wed, Fri are exercise days, Tue, Thu, Sat are record days, Sun is a break day.

Next Monday, check your book. Did you feel overextended at any point during the week? Or just your usual level? Did you feel good?
If you felt normal or good, add 20% to your exercise routine. Maybe one more rep, or walk one house further along, or something. (If you add weights, reduce the repetitions).
If you overextended yourself, reduce by 20%.

A big problem - and one that leads to weakness - is this:
* If you don't exercise, your muscles atrophy.
* With atrophied muscles, exercise becomes more difficult.
* With exercise more difficult, you don't exercise.
* Return to start.

The only solution I know of is to start where your muscles currently are, and build them up. So .. even if you do one rep at the lightest possible difficulty, start.

I know how very, very difficult it is to do when you don't have any motivation. I don't have the motivation for it, and it's painful for me! But every ten minutes I exercise becomes about half an hour or an hour more 'active' time for me later on, because my muscles are warmed up and stronger.

[the_std]

Also, I'd just like to add...

There are always a million excuses not to do something, so when you find even one reason to go for it, hold on to that reason and run with it.

[Jay 2K Winger]

And since my mother needs me to get the coveted Master's Degree That Leads To A Six-Figure Job™.

Correction: Your mother WANTS you to get the Master's Degree and the Six-Figure Job. And just from reading the horror stories involving her that you've posted, I'm sure she wants you to get the job so you'll take care of her for the rest of her life.

I don't doubt that YOU yourself may want a Master's Degree and Six-Figure Job as well, but there's a difference between Needs and Wants.

Needs are things that are necessary to live. Namely, food, water, and shelter.

Wants are anything that don't fall under 'Needs.'

I sincerely hope you find a way out of your (s)mother's web of control and live a full, productive life free of her toxic influence.

[ShadowBall]

The weird thing is I don't feel depressed. I went into a horrible depression in undergrad when my best friend graduated and moved 13 hours away (before he only lived an hour away)...I felt worthless, I wanted to die, I didn't want to go anywhere, I wanted to sleep all the time, and at the same time I wanted companionship while also wanting to be left alone.

Normally I'm alright...not thrilled, but not fall-down sad like I was then. I guess that's why I don't know if I'm depressed or not just because I'm so used to my mother's bullshit. This is normal life for me, so I wonder why I'd be depressed when I really don't know much else.

As far as exercise, I used to play DDR. Jumping around on that for 30 minutes worked up a sweat and it was fun beating old high scores, but since my PS2 has been acting up, I haven't been playing. I've tried other exercises like belly dancing and yoga (as mentioned) - the dancing went way too fast for me to keep up and I couldn't even do the yoga. It was beginner level too. I was using a Thigh Master before, but my arms and legs would be so sore that I did fewer and fewer reps each day from the soreness.

And as far as my mother forcing me to get a million degrees, she says it's because she wants me to have a "gravy job" where I do next to nothing and get loads of money for it. My bachelor's degree was supposed to net me $100,000 a year, so when it didn't, I was told I "needed" a Master's degree. And I've also been told that if I don't get the coveted six-figure job with the Master's degree, I will "need" to get a Ph.D. in art. My mother seems to think that a master's degree in ANYTHING will result in my earning shitloads of money...the reality is an art degree is more or less useless anymore and I'll probably be working retail or flipping burgers the rest of my life because I'm just a mediocre artist.

That would be fine with me, except I will have six figures' worth of debt that will most likely prevent me from being able to afford to live, living on my own, having a vehicle, buying a house, having a bank account (since lenders go after your checking/savings accounts when you don't pay), having even the tiniest bit of extra money, or having any kind of insurance.

But that doesn't matter to my mother because she's right about everything. I hope she still thinks that when I'm homeless and my lender takes her money and her house because I can't afford to pay several hundred dollars a month for the degrees she forced me to get. And no, I never even wanted to go to undergrad, let alone grad school. I felt it would be a waste of money and time when I could start looking for a job after graduation. But nope, to my mother, my life is like Burger King and she can have it her way.

And unfortunately, there are no low-cost, charity or student clinics where I live. It's the hospital or nothing, and since my mother thinks I make up most of my health gripes, she would never believe me if I said I was depressed. She'd probably say I have nothing to be depressed about and that if anyone in this house should be depressed, it's her.

I'll get out of here one day, but I just don't know what day that will actually be.

[Seshat]

Normally I'm alright...not thrilled, but not fall-down sad like I was then. I guess that's why I don't know if I'm depressed or not just because I'm so used to my mother's bullshit. This is normal life for me, so I wonder why I'd be depressed when I really don't know much else.

Chronic stress can cause depression.

I've tried other exercises like belly dancing and yoga (as mentioned) - the dancing went way too fast for me to keep up and I couldn't even do the yoga. It was beginner level too. I was using a Thigh Master before, but my arms and legs would be so sore that I did fewer and fewer reps each day from the soreness.

So start slower. Start below beginner level.

When I said 'if you need to, start with one rep at minimum difficulty', did you think I was kidding? I wasn't.

I'll get out of here one day, but I just don't know what day that will actually be.

The day you decide to.

[wolfie]

And as far as my mother forcing me to get a million degrees, she says it's because she wants me to have a "gravy job" where I do next to nothing and get loads of money for it. My bachelor's degree was supposed to net me $100,000 a year, so when it didn't, I was told I "needed" a Master's degree. And I've also been told that if I don't get the coveted six-figure job with the Master's degree, I will "need" to get a Ph.D. in art.

"Gravy jobs" like that do not exist. In some highly technical fields, a bachelor's degree and many years of experience will get you $100,000 a year - in all fields, an "ink barely dry" bachelor's degree will get you an entry-level job. A PhD in art will get you the debt load of the tuition without a way to pay it back. What is your mother smoking?

[ShadowBall]

She thinks bachelor's/master'sdegree = $100K a year because I guess her co-worker's son's wife has a master's degree and she makes nearly six figures annually. I haven't the faintest idea what she does for a living, but I assume it's probably something a lot more intense than graphic design.

A friend of mine earns over $100K a year with her master's, but a vast majority of her income comes from charging for travel (she goes to people's homes to do therapy). And since she's in danger of no longer being paid for her driving to see her clients, she might find herself in deep shit.

I couldn't even get the lowest entry-level design position that was offered locally. I'm that talent-less. And what really fucking pisses me off is I see people who are less talented than me who hold senior positions in design firms! What the hell am I doing that's wrong? I can't even get slave labor and charity art jobs on freelance sites and these assholes are getting their schooling paid for by their companies. Grrr.

She used to discourage me from drawing, but then my high school art teacher told her that I could make money doing art - he sayid he makes about as much doing freelance work as he does teaching. So my mother saw art as easy money for me and figured she'd force me into college because she knows what's best for me more than I do.

Thankfully, I don't think art degrees go beyond an MFA, which is what I'm going to have in a couple years. I'll never be able to pay off all this debt - my lender is the biggest asshole of student loan lenders and they don't care if you can't afford to live. They want their money and if they don't get it,they will take it. I foresee a future of me working under the table and doing freelance work so they don't garnish my paychecks. Or leaving the country so they can't send me bills. Good thing I have my mother to make my choices for me so I can live anything but a normal life.

[trailerparkmedic]

You do graphic design? See if your distant family will let you live with them for cheap for a few months, then apply for jobs in those areas. Use a local address (your distant family member's house, a PO Box/UPS Store box that will forward mail to you) on your resume and they'll be way more likely to hire you. Hell, even if they're small towns, you might still find a job. Hubby consistently sees openings for one company in a little town called Blacksburg, VA. The town is like 40,000 people, 30,000 of whom attend the local university.

Look at advertising companies--there are a lot of little ones that need decent graphic design and won't care that you don't have advertising experience. As long as you can Photoshop, you'll be fine. My graphic designer friends say that they are less cool in graphic design circles for working in advertising, but they get regular, decent paychecks.

Be open to random, unexpected employers. A friend of mine, who is an atheist, last did graphic design at a church.

Take some of the money you're spending on grad school and learn some marketable skills. Do you know all the industry standard tools, including Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign? Do you know Flash? Do you know HTML? Can you make pretty emails? I'm sure you could add to this list. Take your money and put it towards useful skills.

Make sure that your portfolio is GORGEOUS. Don't print out stuff at home, go to Kinkos and get the pretty paper. Put it in a nice binder. Cheaping out on your portfolio makes your work look less awesome

Just because you have a portfolio, that doesn't mean your resume can be blown off. Customize it for each position. Have people you trust (I'm sure you can find takers here) look it over.

If you want things to change, you need to make changes. If always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

[ShadowBall]

Oh hell, my town is about 1/10 the size of Blacksburg - there's about 5000 people here. No design firms, no advertising companies, no art schools (or colleges in general), someone is already doing an art workshop downtown. There are screen printers, but I have never ever seen them hiring.

I have two main clients - a family friend for whom I do charity work, and a client across the country who I do illustrations for. As far as skills, I know everything you mentioned - I know Photoshop front to back, I use Illustrator very regularly, InDesign I can use but probably need a little refresher since I have no need to use it outside class, I can do basic stuff in Flash (but couldn't, say, program an interactive game) and I know Dreamweaver basics.

I learned how to do a lot of stuff in undergrad like ad design (print and web), illustration, booklet/brochure design, basic web design (HTML and Flash), photo manipulation and re-touching, corporate identity (business cards and such), vector graphics, painting (oil, acrylic and watercolor)...even a little animation when I was still in video game design. Apparently none of that is good enough. It might be my schools' reputation as a diploma mill in some cases.

I also have a portfolio full of stuff from undergrad. Most of the work I do anymore is for myself and it's illustration (usually cartoons). I also have three resumes - one for art, one for writing, and one for general employment.

Basically I have everything and I apply for all kinds of freelance jobs since there are no regular creative jobs here. Everyone says either they "prefer other artists" or that my rate of $8 an hour is too high. So I guess I just suck at what I do. I wonder if maybe I should go into the Job Corps and learn a more practical skill since it's blatant my art degrees will never get me a real job.

[Sapphire Silk]

You have to learn to sell yourself. trailerparkmedic's suggestions are spot on. I have a good friend who is a graphic artist; did a lot of work for the role playing game industry freelance.

I've seen your work. It is not talentless. It may, however, not be what potential employers are looking for, or may be too generic (it was pretty run of the mill manga style) . . . you may need to work on finding a way to make your work stand out. That takes practice, and trial and error.

I know an artist who I don't consider to be very good who gets lots of work because he is good at selling himself and making people believe his bullshit about himself.

If you're going to make a living doing graphic design, you do not need an advanced degree. You also don't need the degree you have. You just need to start selling your work. The more freelance jobs you get, the more you have for your portfolio.

An MFA would probably help you with a getting a job at a design firm. It opens a door.

You can get a PhD in Art, but it's useless to you unless you intend to stay in academia. And I guarantee you won't make six figures teaching art.

It's really all about your creativity. You think Scott Adams has a degree in Art? How much money do think he pulls down doing Dilbert?

That strip is funny as hell. Great art it is not. But it is creative.