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  • Only 3 from today...

    …but they were pretty good.


    Does everybody have to pay that?

    Me: So, to reserve this apartment I would need the application fees and the non-refundable $100 hold fee.

    SC: So I have to pay that $100?

    Me: To hold the apartment, yes.

    SC: Everybody has to pay it?

    Me: Yep!

    SC: Everybody that moves into one of those apartments has to pay $100 first?

    Yes, Asshat! EVERYBODY DOES! Wtf do you think, if you put juuuuuust the right inflection on it that I’ll suddenly remember that you get to move in for free? Did he think that after the 4th time I was going to say “yes” but with a big theatrical wink and hold my hand out for the secret SC handshake of fee waiving? He’s coming back tomorrow and I swear that if he does this shit again I’m giving him the option of the $100 fee in a money order made out to the complex, or $200 to me, in cash.


    Suh-leck-tor Knooooob?

    A quick word on chiller systems for those that don’t know. A chiller system means that when it’s cold everybody gets heat, and when it’s warm, everybody gets a/c. It is switched over from one to the other at the manager’s discretion. Anyplace that advertises all utilities paid or free a/c around here has a chiller system. In your apartment you have a thermostat and a blower switch. The blower switch says “off”, “high”, “medium”, or “low”. The thermostat tells the unit at what temperature to turn on or off, and the blower switch determines how forcefully the air will come from the vents.

    So this lady calls in with a work order:

    Me: Good morning, S apartments, how can I help you?

    SC: This is M in apt. 1234. I’ve had cold air blowing through my apartment for 2 days now, did you guys come into my apartment and change anything?

    Me: The a/c has been turned on for the season, so the only air you’ll get out of there is cold air until the winter hits again.

    SC: Yeah, but it never turns off, I have the temperature set to 90 and it’s still running. And the switch is off.

    Me: Okay, now I understand, let me get some info from you and we’ll have maintenance take a look at it on Monday. It sounds like your selector knob may be broken.

    SC: Suh-leck-tor knob???

    Me: The switch right next to the thermostat that says “high”, “medium”, “low”, and “off”.

    SC: Oh. So can I get my heat turned back on, because I’m freezing in here!

    Me: << freezing in So. AZ? Call the fuckin’ news, cuz I’ve had at least 2 ppl bitch at me every frickin’ weekend since FEBRUARY that they are sweating their balls off! Put on a damn sweater, dipshit!>> No, I’m sorry there will be no heat until winter time.

    SC: It wasn’t bad before, when the heat was on, but now…

    Me: (light dawning) Wait a second…Ma’am, how long has the air not been able to be turned off?

    SC: Since I moved in.

    Me: Which was…

    SC: 4 months ago.

    HOLY PROCRASTINATION BATMAN!! Either you are the worst procrastinator since the guy that refused to look out the fuckin’ window on the Titanic, or you are really so stupid that to think that when something is set to “OFF” that it’s NORMAL for it to still be running!

    Somebody out there is easily impressed

    Me: <<spiel>>

    Easily Impressed Lady: Do your studios have (mumble)?

    Me: I’m sorry, do our studios have what?

    EIL: Kitchens!

    Me: (Baffled)…kitchens?

    EIL: Yes

    Me: Yes they do. All our apartments here have kitchens.

    EIL: Yay!!

    Maybe in some parts of the country you can get an apartment without a kitchen, I don’t know, but I personally have never seen it here. I told my mom about it and she asked if the girl was foreign (maybe the no kitchen thing is available in other countries?) and I said I didn’t think so. “Well, did she have an accent?” As a matter of fact there was, and unless I am very much mistaken, it was San Fernando Valley. I was tempted to tell her our studios were bare patches of concrete, surrounded by barbed wire, and the chamber pot was emptied weekly for an extra fee.
    "I've never had a heart attack, but it isn't for my son's lack of trying." - Me

  • #2
    In the defense of the girl in the last story, when I was looking for apartments the majority of the studios I came across had a small stovetop, a fridge, and maybe an oven. Some had full-size appliances, but no actual kitchen as the appliances and everything would be in the living space. I think it was a fair question for her to ask if she was looking for an apartment with an actual kitchen.

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    • #3
      Well, now I know that it is possible, at least in Ohio. Thanks! I had just never seen that before.
      "I've never had a heart attack, but it isn't for my son's lack of trying." - Me

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      • #4
        One of my ex's used to live in a place that had communal kitchens. Some places may pass these kinds of places off as "studio apartments" and still require you to share a kitchen with everyone else who lives there.
        That's the only thing I can think of...

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        • #5
          I know that when I was apartment hunting for a friend a while back, there were several places that didn't have actual kitchens. They were the worst of the low-rent places, however.

          Pretty much every apartment you'd actually want to live in had it's own separate kitchen area.

          ^-.-^
          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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          • #6
            Quoth Listerfiend View Post
            In the defense of the girl in the last story, when I was looking for apartments the majority of the studios I came across had a small stovetop, a fridge, and maybe an oven. Some had full-size appliances, but no actual kitchen as the appliances and everything would be in the living space. I think it was a fair question for her to ask if she was looking for an apartment with an actual kitchen.
            Chuckles, "Somebody's trying to make their units look better, those are typically referred to as efficiency apartments, basically a hotel room with a cook top, I stayed in one one time that had a single unit that was a tiny fridge with two burners and a bar sink (really tiny sink) built into the top, and a small counter next to it with a cabinet underneath. Basically it filled the area opposite the bathroom where you'd typically have a hang bar instead of an actual closet. Weirdest thing I saw here was one apartment complex where you rented two units, they were connected by a doorway between their dining rooms and you got 2 kitchens, 2 dining rooms, etc."
            Seph
            Taur10
            "You're supposed to be the head of covert intelligence. Right now, I'm not seeing a hell of a lot of intelligence. Covert, overt, or otherwise!"-Lochley, B5, A View from the Gallery

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            • #7
              One of the apartments here doesn't have a kitchen. Of course, it's less of an apartment that a room were you can ditch your stuff. It used to be the office of a masonry company, and then the guy who lived there ate with his parents who live in another apartment. Now that he's moved into a proper apartment we're using it as a spare bedroom.
              The High Priest is an Illusion!

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              • #8
                Quoth TTAZ View Post
                I swear that if he does this shit again I’m giving him the option of the $100 fee in a money order made out to the complex, or $200 to me, in cash.
                Evil, but I like it.
                Unseen but seeing
                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                3rd shift needs love, too
                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                • #9
                  in defense of the person asking about the kitchen, depending on how old she is, if her only experience with with living on her own has been student housing, it's not unusual for student housing to have communal kitchens... even the so called "apartment style" housing... either that or she's an idiot.
                  If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                  • #10
                    Haha, Idiots.

                    And for the last girl, I would have to point out that my first apartment was a studio that did not have a kitchen. For 6 months I lived with a mini fridge, a microwave and a camping stove. So I understand her excitement.
                    "I just figured you would be terrified, and I would be sarcastic about it."

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                    • #11
                      *lives in middle of AZ and has this to say* wait... who freaking uses the heat at all in AZ... I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST PAINTED ON!!

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