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  • Evil Overlord List - what not to do

    My housemate fell down the rabbit hole that is the internet and found this site that I thought some might get a laugh from.

    http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

    It is a list of what to do (and not to do) if you want to be an Evil Overlord. It's been a while since it was updated, but there are some good things in the list.

    The top two are:
    My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
    My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

    And it gets sillier/funnier from there.
    A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. - Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

  • #2
    An oldie but a goodie. Plenty of alternate lists out there, too.
    Last edited by EricKei; 07-22-2018, 09:00 PM.
    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
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    • #3
      Admittedly, she never said that, but this quote does apply to her.
      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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      • #4
        I didn't see these but "Marksmanship will be a high priority." I would remove the word Evil from the mix entirely, since that's what gets them killed a lot of the time. So just be a quietly unassuming Overlord who pays well and doesn't randomly kill and maim unless absolutely necessary. It's helpful if all your underlings are well fed, then if some guy comes and wants to overthrow you, your people might just kill him for you.

        ...what? Yeah, you're right, this doesn't make for good entertainment.
        Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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        • #5
          I love this list! I go back to it every so often to cheer myself up, and have been doing so since I first found it back when I first wandered onto the internet in the 90's (yes, I am a dinosaur). I usually end up hitting it after watching a film where the villain has been particularly stupid.

          I think one of my favourite rules is number 12 on the main list, "One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation." Also number 49 on the main list, "If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper."
          "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

          Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

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