Sucky Johns. VERY NSFW. 18+ ONLY.

[Aethian]

You're amazing. Truly, you are! I'd love to sit down and have a coffee or frappe with you and hear your story.

You realize that Seshat isn't a companion right?

[ComputerNecromancer]

Actually I was thinking more of the latter two. I didn't think of the first one, especially because I've heard of those folks generally having corrective surgery since there are other health issues relating to the genitalia.

Actually, until fairly recently, "corrective" surgery for intersexed folks tended to be done at birth (and often without even consulting the parents!!!). And was far more concerned with appearance than any health problems.

That is, they'd trim down "oversized" clitorises, or turn boys with "micropenis" into "girls".

The things that are health problems are a lot rarer.

So the result was often that come puberty (if not earlier) you have a kid whose gender identity doesn't match the anatomy a doctor chose for them at birth. :-(

[alphabeats]

Also add that some intersex people who aren't men or women (or are both or...) identify primarily as intersex rather than genderqueer. And ho boy is infant 'corrective' surgery a fucking horrible thing when it's not actually a big health deal. Oh and that not all non-binary people identify as genderqueer in the first place; and that it's a term which comes out of western models of gender and sexuality so a lot of people from cultures which already have other suitable non-binary genders don't use it either tyvm...

also, in my personal experience, binary trans* folk who don't want particular medical procedures don't *tend* to identify as genderqueer. To me, it's something I recognise as a thing that people do, but it is kind of marked to me, it's not my first assumption.

Anyway, on with the sex worker woes...

[Seshat]

Note re "genderqueer": would those interested in discussing it please move to Off Topic or Fratching and start a new thread? I'm just asking in the interests of not being derailed. Thanks!

You're amazing. Truly, you are! I'd love to sit down and have a coffee or frappe with you and hear your story.

I'm not the Companion/prostitute/whore/whatever myself, just friend to many of them.

For most of them, it's a job. Some have found a vocation in the field: they're providing touch and pleasure to people who have a shortage of one or both. This is particularly common among those who provide sex services for the disabled.
Others simply find it a better job than retail or call centres or whatnot. :P


Because I just KNOW I'll be asked - and hey, it's interesting - here's some of the sex services provided for the disabled.

* Sex positioning assistance.
Honestly, I think a lot of this should be done by physiotherapists and occupational therapists. Sex is part of a wholeness, a wellness, for many patients.

Usually this is where the sex worker goes to the customer's house, along with a kit of sample foam cushions, blow up cushions, slings/harnesses, and other tools and devices. She - or he (one of the best in the field is a he!) - assesses the client's disabilities, and comes up with as many different arrangements as possible that the client and their partner can get into themselves without undue strain.
Sex worker then arranges some affordable way for the couple to get the cushions &/or other gear necessary for the positions.



* Sex assistant.

When it's not possible for the couple to get into the positions by themselves. The assistant doesn't actually get sexually involved, just helps with positioning.



* Sex surrogate.

Partner A can't have sex. Partner A doesn't want B to be deprived of sex, but doesn't want B to have an affair. So the pair hire a sex surrogate for B.
Emotional faithfulness is maintained, and the surrogate does her/his best to ensure that the emotional intimacy of the sex is between A and B, not B and surrogate.


* Normal prostitution, just with a disabled client.

If you think it's hard for able-bodied people to find a partner.....

Yeah.


And there's also some morally ambiguous cases. Like what do you do with someone who's too intellectually disabled to really understand all the potential consequences of sex, but hormonally and functionally is an adult?
One solution is to hire a disability-specialised prostitute; who is going to make no demands on the client, expect nothing of the client, and make damn sure to use all safe-sex precautions. They do, however, have an extended discussion with the client's guardians before any interaction takes place!
(If you want to discuss the morality of this sort of thing, please take it to Fratching. It's a situation for which there are no good solutions, IMO. The sex workers who do it flatly refuse to unless they've consulted the client's guardian and have their approval - it's the best compromise they know of.)

[Aethian]

Wow...where this is a legal thing I think some of these companions are doing a lot of good.

[Seshat]

The more I learn about sex work, the more I think it's an honourable and valuable field.


Aside: The whole human trafficking/forced labour thing is a horrible blight on humanity, that happens to be often targetted on the sex work field. Bleargh. Regulation of sex work is necessary to ensure that the workers are voluntary, unfortunately.
But the workers I know are basically happy - no less so than people in other professions. They just sometimes have reason to gripe about their customers.

[wolfie]

* Sex assistant.

When it's not possible for the couple to get into the positions by themselves. The assistant doesn't actually get sexually involved, just helps with positioning.

One thing I've heard is that some positions in the Kama Sutra appear to be physically impossible, but aren't - they require the aid of servants to position the people involved, but since servants are beneath notice, they aren't depicted in the drawings. This is also the origin of the stereotypical Ninja costume. Japanese theatre at the time had stagehands "on stage" while the play was going on, and the convention was that they were to be ignored by the audience. In order to identify who was "not there", stagehands were dressed all in black, with only their eyes exposed. Some bright playwright had the idea to create a character who was an "invisible" assassin. How do you make a person invisible on stage? Easy - dress him as a stagehand.

I wonder - do any of the "escort services" get calls from truckers hauling serious oversize loads (far enough beyond the normal dimension limits that a permit, signs, and flags aren't enough) looking for the escort vehicles needed to move the load? Hint - never hauled oversize, but the proper category to look under is "pilot car services".

[Argabarga]

It would seem the same pervasive inability to follow rules exist in every industry

"A, B or C"

"But I only have D!"

"A, B or C"

"But I only have D!"

"Sorry, A, B or C only"

"But I only have D!"

THERE IS NO ESCAPE! RUN FOR THE HILLS NOW!

[smileyeagle1021]

I seriously wonder what stories of sucky customers they'd have when they get someone with a kink or fetish that they can provide that turns out not to turn them on as much as they thought it would?
I know it can't be that uncommon for people to fantasize about something, think it would be the hottest thing ever, and then have it happen and either not be able to go through with it or not enjoy it at all. Especially for fantasies that involve lack of consent and the very fact that you know the person is consenting and only pretending not to ruins the experience.

[Seshat]

That is fairly common, smiley.

What the Companions try to do is ensure there's at least two or three ideas for what the client wants out of a session. And just deal with it as an 'oh well, that didn't work out, let's try this other one'.
I guess because I know a social network of Companions, they've been passing tips, ideas and solutions around so much that many of these problems are as solved as possible.


Regarding people looking for 'escort' services that aren't prostitution: because it's legal here, they're not advertising as escorts. You see someone advertising escort services, they're actually providing escort services of some sort. (Or they don't have a licence, perhaps.)


Category the I've lost count: surreal kinks.

Actually, I only have one that's really story-worthy and gross. Trampling, submission, dominance, latex, heels, corsets, little-girl outfits, etc etc - if you can see it in a sex store, it's not really a story as far as Companions are concerned.

I'm going to white this. It's .. yeah. You're warned.
He wanted to play with nasal mucus.



Category the bleargh: discrimination.

The prostitutes put their vital stats up front: clear photographs of themselves and their bodies; whether they're male, female, trans or other; hair colour, eye colour, presence or absence of tats and piercings. Whatever you might need to decide who to contact.

So tell me - why do people feel a need to contact one of the prostitutes with a crude and foul message about how they're too fat/skinny/ugly/dark-skinned/light-skinned/pierced/not-pierced/whatever to be a whore?

One of my better friends in the group is helping a new prostitute get started: her first contact with any potential client was along those lines. Horrible.


Can anyone explain why someone would take the time to do that? It's much faster and easier to just click 'next' on the websites that advertise the whores and see if you can find someone who does appeal to you.

[BlaqueKatt]

So tell me - why do people feel a need to contact one of the prostitutes with a crude and foul message about how they're too fat/skinny/ugly/dark-skinned/light-skinned/pierced/not-pierced/whatever to be a whore?

One of my better friends in the group is helping a new prostitute get started: her first contact with any potential client was along those lines. Horrible.


Can anyone explain why someone would take the time to do that? It's much faster and easier to just click 'next' on the websites that advertise the whores and see if you can find someone who does appeal to you.

well because their opinion on suitability is correct and right, and how dare their opinion not be treated as fact, it offends their delicate sensibilities.

[sms001]

... why do people feel a need to contact one of the prostitutes with a crude and foul message about how they're too....

Besides BlaqueKatt's explanation that they just don't realize that taste is subjective (and some people honestly don't; they simply can't wrap their heads around that fact that others' opinions are valid) there's probably the sad sods who just want to degrade the workers. They look down on the profession and want to bully them.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Because they're bullies who get off on being assholes. They DO click next, and call up that person with a list of their perceived flaws. They aren't looking for someone to hire; they just like calling them up to be dicks since they feel the prostitutes can't do anything about it, and deserve it anyway being just whores who don't matter, after all.

[Seshat]

All three of you are probably right. Le sigh.

[Pipthepirate]

I seriously wonder what stories of sucky customers they'd have when they get someone with a kink or fetish that they can provide that turns out not to turn them on as much as they thought it would?
I know it can't be that uncommon for people to fantasize about something, think it would be the hottest thing ever, and then have it happen and either not be able to go through with it or not enjoy it at all. Especially for fantasies that involve lack of consent and the very fact that you know the person is consenting and only pretending not to ruins the experience.

I'd be interested in seeing what kind of Yelp reviews those sucky customers would write