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Just When I Thought It Was Over....

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  • #16
    Maybe with a neutral third party might make a difference. I think telling your pastor what "your" side of the story is might spark a dialogue between him and your wife, and with that eventually a dialogue between her and you. That is not saying that it will make everything all hunky dory, but maybe you can at least have a civil relationship.

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    • #17
      I can't offer anything but hugs and support, Kara, but those you have. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

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      • #18
        Ugh ugh ugh. I'm so sorry. =( This sounds awful.

        I agree with PP's that if nothing else, perhaps you can get your pastor to help you convince her to keep things civil regarding your kids, for their sake. That seems like the most critical thing right now.

        I'm really sorry. Good luck getting things straightened out.

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        • #19
          I am terribly sorry this is happening. Not seeing my son would kill me. I hope that through all this you can repair your relationship with them.

          Now for the second part of what I am going to say. Concerning your impending divorce. You all can hate me for saying this but, maybe this is for the best. It sounded like she was not letting you be who you are. That is not acceptiable. If she can't be around you, with who you are, then she shouldn't be married to you.

          Then again maybe you can both get some therapy and can come back stronger as a couple. She needs to understand that you did nothing wrong. That who you are is not wrong. that living any other way is wrong.

          I hope that for your sake that she will talk to you. She needs to understand what is all happening from your side. I hope that you work things out, one way or another.
          My sanity has been dripping out of me my whole life, today they turned on the faucet.....

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          • #20
            Not much actual news to share, but I did get confirmation on something I've been suspecting for awhile now.

            We have an officer who started a few months ago who was a veteran police officer in another city. Was talking to him yesterday because he was in my cellhouse, and it turns out he was a detective in the sexual crimes/child abuse unit. He had seen these things a LOT.

            This is a game. All the delays, the runarounds, the stalling, all of it. And it's because of my job. See, they want to make an example of me. To let everyone know that we won't get special treatment because we're part of law enforcement. If there was a case, they'd have started it by now, because "Corrections Officer kicks child" would have made a great headline. The fact is, they already know they are going to drop the charges. But they don't want it to look like I got off easy or because of my job, so they are going to keep dragging it out, both to make a point and to break me. Because you know, it's not the fact that I know I'm innocent, no, it's the fact that I think I'm invincible because of what I do. So yeah. Me, my wife, and our children, are being made to suffer to satisfy the DA's agenda.

            Let's put this in perspective for a moment. They accuse me of "maliciously inflicting cruel, inhuman corporal punishment" on my children. Then they find out that's not the case. So they knowingly cause mental and emotional anguish to my family, my small children, by simply doing nothing at all and forcing us to not be able to see each other. Now who's inflicting cruel, inhuman corporal punishment? These kids aren't teenagers, they are 7, 5, and 4.

            Also, the other officer told me that, given our history and the reason for divorce being cited as "incompatibility," it is entirely possible that CPS told my wife that if she stays married to me, they will take the kids from her and place them in foster care. As I've said before, she is deathly terrified of these people and will probably do whatever they tell her to. They do this kind of thing all the time.

            So that's about all I have right now. At least now I know for certain that they're just screwing with me, so I don't sound paranoid when I say it. And that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about any of this. I have no choice but to wait until they decide I've suffered enough, that my will is broken and I've learned my lesson.
            "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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            • #21
              Oh Kara... *snugs and hugs tight*

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              • #22
                Not much time, but I will say this:
                if any of this is provable, you have a case against the DA. This is why 'mental anguish and suffering' is something people can sue over. This is ... this is bullshit.
                "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
                "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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                • #23
                  Sounds like you are getting 'special treatment'...just not in a good way
                  I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                  I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                  It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                  • #24
                    Pardon me, but I've not been paying attention....what exactly happened to spark all this? If you don't feel like rehashing it, just direct me to the original thread....?

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

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                    • #25
                      That's okay Jester, it's been quite a saga. Check your PM box.
                      "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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                      • #26
                        Kara, got it. Will read it later, as I'm gearing up for the game, and that looks like it will take me a while to wade through. LOL!

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

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                        • #27
                          I have nothing to say that hasn't been stated by others, but I am furious on your behalf.

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                          • #28
                            That's all nonsense! I can understand having to be extra-cautious with allegations of abuse about people in law enforcement, but this is taking it past fair/cautious and into the absurd. I hope the situation gets better really soon and that you get to spend time with your family.
                            Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

                            Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

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                            • #29
                              Ugh. I can't say what I want to, as it's unrepeatable. The faces sum it up. What sort of crack are they smoking to do this to you??!

                              However, *hugs you*.
                              Last edited by RootedPhoenix; 02-07-2011, 01:51 AM. Reason: adding and fixing
                              1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
                              -----
                              http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

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                              • #30
                                Big hugs for you Kara.
                                "The pepper spray was cruel but to hit them with Barry Manilow was just plain vicious,"

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