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Little Old Lady

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  • Little Old Lady

    A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a 20 fell out onto the path.

    Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are 20's falling out of that bag."

    "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."

    Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

    "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me 20, or off it comes.'

    "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

    "Not everybody pays."
    Lay your hands upon me
    Like an angel from above
    Put your arms around me,
    'Cause you're fallin'

  • #2
    Ewwwww
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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    • #3
      I've heard a variation of this, which involves an old man from Israel going into stalls and threatening to castrate men if they don't give him a dollar.
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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