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I have often talked about my friend Frank here, and while he is a great guy, he can be very exasperating. This is not one of those stories where I extoll his virtues. 
Background: Frank is on his phone a lot. Frank asks me for rides a lot. Frank almost always uses his phone when he is in my truck. Being the polite person that I am, I roll up the windows, turn on the AC, and turn off the radio while he is on the phone so that he can hear better. Though lately, it's been getting rather annoying, bordering on rude, and I have been considering taking drastic measures.
Fast forward to Tuesday morning. Frank calls and asks for a ride into town. Though I am running a bit behind, I tell him if I rush through my shower, I can do it, but, and this is important, he needs to be outside waiting for me as I won't be able to call him as I'll be on the phone.
Now, let's review. Why does he need to be outside? Because I'm running behind, and I won't be able to call him. Why won't I be able to call him. Because I'll be on the phone. Right. Logic even a first grader could follow. (For the record, the phone call I planned on being on was with my apartment complex, with whom I am currently having a dispute, detailed elsewhere on these boards.)
So I pull up to Frank's place, and am on the phone. Frank is outside waiting. He gets into the truck, and VERY LOUDLY says, "Good morning! How we doing?" Interrupting me on the phone. I curtly tell him to "shut up dude, I'm on the phone!" I could excuse that to a degree, as he claimed not to realize I was on the phone when he got in--despite me telling him ahead of time that that would be the situation--but I just could not excuse what followed. Seeing that I was clearly angry while talking on the phone, a smart person would have just shut up and let me talk. Not Frank. At one point, when I responded to something the other person said, Frank piped in, "Yeah, they tried doing that to us too, blah blah blah." I shot him a look of death. And had to ask the person on the other end to repeat themselves because I couldn't hear them due to my "rude friend." You get the idea. This happened more than once.
Finally I finished with the call, and ripped Frank a new one. How DARE he, in MY truck, be so rude when I am on the fucking phone when EVERY SINGLE TIME that HE is on the phone in MY truck, I am polite enough to not fucking interrupt him? Etc., etc. I laid into him but good, and he realized I was PISSED. Admittedly, most of the anger was directed at my apartment complex and the ongoing dispute, but that should have been a clue to him to not exacerbate the situation.
So I had been thinking about this before this whole blowup as a joke, and now I am thinking about doing this more seriously: posting a "No Cell Phones" sign in my truck. Aimed at one person: Frank. (Since none of my other friends are so consistently annoying and rude about this.) Of course, the sign wouldn't say Frank, but that's besides the point.
While some people might think this is a bit extreme, I would like to point out one simple fact: My truck, my rules. Anyone who doesn't like the rules of my truck is perfectly free to get the fuck out of my truck and walk or call a cab.
One addendum: Frank has known me 11 years, the entire time I've been in Key West. In all that time, and all my life, I have never smoked. And he knows this. In all that time, and all my driving life, I have never allowed anyone to smoke in my truck. He knows this, too. And yet, another time recently when I gave Frank a ride into town, he gets in with an unlit cigarette in his hand, and asks, "Hey, mind if I light this?" I shoot him a look of death that told him the answer. "Dude, what if I just smoke it out the window?" At which point I stopped playing the silent death look game and said, "Frank, have we met? Hi, I'm Jester. I don't smoke. I have never smoked. I don't even let the women I FUCK smoke in my truck, why would I let you?" Point made, cig was put away.
That is how inconsiderate Frank can be. To be fair, Frank can also be one of the most gregarious, generous, giving, and wonderful people on the planet. He just can't help the fact that he's also a diva prima donna pain in the ass. And yes, he clearly needs to get his own transpo, but every time he does, he runs it into the ground. And sometimes he merely leaves it downtown when he's too drunk to drive, and I have no problem providing rides in situations like this, as I have been on the other side of the coin.
Okay, enough ranting and venting....what do y'all think of the No Cell Phones sign?
EDITED TO ADD: Does anyone know where online I could find a small sign of this type that I could put in my vehicle, preferably one that I could put up or put away at my whim, rather than have it permanently mounted? Your help in this endeavor would be greatly appreciated.
Background: Frank is on his phone a lot. Frank asks me for rides a lot. Frank almost always uses his phone when he is in my truck. Being the polite person that I am, I roll up the windows, turn on the AC, and turn off the radio while he is on the phone so that he can hear better. Though lately, it's been getting rather annoying, bordering on rude, and I have been considering taking drastic measures.
Fast forward to Tuesday morning. Frank calls and asks for a ride into town. Though I am running a bit behind, I tell him if I rush through my shower, I can do it, but, and this is important, he needs to be outside waiting for me as I won't be able to call him as I'll be on the phone.
Now, let's review. Why does he need to be outside? Because I'm running behind, and I won't be able to call him. Why won't I be able to call him. Because I'll be on the phone. Right. Logic even a first grader could follow. (For the record, the phone call I planned on being on was with my apartment complex, with whom I am currently having a dispute, detailed elsewhere on these boards.)
So I pull up to Frank's place, and am on the phone. Frank is outside waiting. He gets into the truck, and VERY LOUDLY says, "Good morning! How we doing?" Interrupting me on the phone. I curtly tell him to "shut up dude, I'm on the phone!" I could excuse that to a degree, as he claimed not to realize I was on the phone when he got in--despite me telling him ahead of time that that would be the situation--but I just could not excuse what followed. Seeing that I was clearly angry while talking on the phone, a smart person would have just shut up and let me talk. Not Frank. At one point, when I responded to something the other person said, Frank piped in, "Yeah, they tried doing that to us too, blah blah blah." I shot him a look of death. And had to ask the person on the other end to repeat themselves because I couldn't hear them due to my "rude friend." You get the idea. This happened more than once.
Finally I finished with the call, and ripped Frank a new one. How DARE he, in MY truck, be so rude when I am on the fucking phone when EVERY SINGLE TIME that HE is on the phone in MY truck, I am polite enough to not fucking interrupt him? Etc., etc. I laid into him but good, and he realized I was PISSED. Admittedly, most of the anger was directed at my apartment complex and the ongoing dispute, but that should have been a clue to him to not exacerbate the situation.
So I had been thinking about this before this whole blowup as a joke, and now I am thinking about doing this more seriously: posting a "No Cell Phones" sign in my truck. Aimed at one person: Frank. (Since none of my other friends are so consistently annoying and rude about this.) Of course, the sign wouldn't say Frank, but that's besides the point.
While some people might think this is a bit extreme, I would like to point out one simple fact: My truck, my rules. Anyone who doesn't like the rules of my truck is perfectly free to get the fuck out of my truck and walk or call a cab.
One addendum: Frank has known me 11 years, the entire time I've been in Key West. In all that time, and all my life, I have never smoked. And he knows this. In all that time, and all my driving life, I have never allowed anyone to smoke in my truck. He knows this, too. And yet, another time recently when I gave Frank a ride into town, he gets in with an unlit cigarette in his hand, and asks, "Hey, mind if I light this?" I shoot him a look of death that told him the answer. "Dude, what if I just smoke it out the window?" At which point I stopped playing the silent death look game and said, "Frank, have we met? Hi, I'm Jester. I don't smoke. I have never smoked. I don't even let the women I FUCK smoke in my truck, why would I let you?" Point made, cig was put away.
That is how inconsiderate Frank can be. To be fair, Frank can also be one of the most gregarious, generous, giving, and wonderful people on the planet. He just can't help the fact that he's also a diva prima donna pain in the ass. And yes, he clearly needs to get his own transpo, but every time he does, he runs it into the ground. And sometimes he merely leaves it downtown when he's too drunk to drive, and I have no problem providing rides in situations like this, as I have been on the other side of the coin.
Okay, enough ranting and venting....what do y'all think of the No Cell Phones sign?
EDITED TO ADD: Does anyone know where online I could find a small sign of this type that I could put in my vehicle, preferably one that I could put up or put away at my whim, rather than have it permanently mounted? Your help in this endeavor would be greatly appreciated.
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