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  • #1

    Parking woes

    Alright, so this one was sucky, but the stupid WAY overdid the sucky here.

    I'm at work today, and we're having a little event where kids can decorate little heart-shaped cakes for their moms for Mother's Day. I'm in charge of that and minding my own business when I hear an announcement over the intercom by my favorite manager: "Will the owner of the white Lincoln Navigator parked in the cart corral please come to Customer Service, the owner of the white Lincoln Navigator to Customer Service please". I stopped and gave a 'huh?' look, then went over and said "man, that must take a special kind of stupid, huh?"

    I mean...to park in a CART CORRAL? A Lincoln Navigator isn't a small car...I wouldn't want to park it in a normal parking spot...but one with a cart corral in it? I'm not sure how they managed to fit it in. I told the stock guys they should go out and shove the corral (it's plastic filled with sand) up and around the vehicle so they can't get in the doors. They thought it was a great idea, but the genius of the day had already moved it.

    But seriously....
    Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

    Proverbs 22:6
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  • #2
    Does it surprise you that the offending vehicle was an oversized SUV?

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    • #3
      Well...today I went out to eat with my parents for Mother's Day. We thought we'd do it today instead of tomorrow when all the restaurants will be mobbed.

      When we arrived at the restaurant, we noticed a BMW parked crooked across two parking spots. Mom had a theory about this--it's always people with fancy cars parking so retarded, so that nobody that park in the space next to them and ding their doors.

      I don't really believe it, but it's worth checking out.

      Anyhow, the cart corrals at giraffe's store must be ginormous because there is no freaking way somebody in a Navigator would be able to park in one of ours. First, the corrals are not terribly wide. Secondly, they're very light. They're just metal tubing welded together in such a way as to form a cart corral. I can push the corrals around the parking lot without much trouble; the Navigator would do the same.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
        Mom had a theory about this--it's always people with fancy cars parking so retarded, so that nobody that park in the space next to them and ding their doors.

        I don't really believe it, but it's worth checking out.
        Actually, my mother used to have a Nissan Z convertible and after she got it she'd park the damn thing just like that for that exact reason. If I was with her I'd tease her mercilessly for being nuts. She stopped doing it after a year of having the car, but yeesh.
        "Oh, the strawberries don't taste as they used to and the thighs of women have lost their clutch!"

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        • #5
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
          When we arrived at the restaurant, we noticed a BMW parked crooked across two parking spots. Mom had a theory about this--it's always people with fancy cars parking so retarded, so that nobody that park in the space next to them and ding their doors.
          The side view miirrors of most cars fold flat against the window, they just need a push and they flip right around. Just in case anyone didn't know that.
          There's no such thing as a stupid question... just stupid people.

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          • #6
            I see dumb people parking in the lot! OMG RUN! *hides in fear*
            Be like the flower that perfumes the very hand that crushes it.

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            • #7
              I see just the opposite most places I go....

              Rusy old piles of shit where the king and queens of the trailer park, they double park at Wal-Mart and at the restaurant I used to work at.

              Old ghetto vans from the 70s and 80s parking crooked/double parking and out pops the family of 12 on the first of the month....

              However, on Easter, we took Gramma out for breakfast at Perkins. We parked right by the window we sat at. In pulls a Lexus who double parks between two spots near mine. Out pops 50 year old balding man in a low cut v-neck shirt (gross) showing off a ton of grey chest hair, and out of passenger side pops 20something year old glamor girl.
              You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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              • #8
                Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                we noticed a BMW parked crooked across two parking spots. Mom had a theory about this--it's always people with fancy cars parking so retarded, so that nobody that park in the space next to them and ding their doors.
                If Kyle sees that, he will literally park on a diagonal if he has to, he will park 3-4 inches from the drivers side to "teach the bastard a lesson". If hes with a friend it gets worse, they will both park like this on either side....

                I have tried to get him to stop wasting his time... but that and cutting him off instantly set him off into a rage that lasts for a while. I dont understand him sometimes!
                I wasnt put on this earth to make you feel like a man ~ Mary Bertone

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                • #9
                  Quoth thegiraffe View Post
                  I hear an announcement over the intercom by my favorite manager: "Will the owner of the white Lincoln Navigator parked in the cart corral please come to Customer Service, the owner of the white Lincoln Navigator to Customer Service please". I stopped and gave a 'huh?' look, then went over and said "man, that must take a special kind of stupid, huh?"
                  Wow. That's talent. Too bad there aren't pictures.
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                  • #10
                    While my car is an economy Pontiac POS, I still love my car and hate to have it dinged. Even so I'd never double park it anywhere for fear of it getting damaged. You'd get someone try to squeeze in anyways, or someone causing deliberate damage because you're parked like a dumbass.
                    D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
                    Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

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                    • #11
                      I've been known to park a bit crooked (or "slightly askew" as I like to call it) but it's never on purpose, and if I get out and realize I'm not completely inside the spot, I will fix it. Well, except the other day when I stopped at Starbucks on my way to work. I was going to park in one spot then at the last second changed my mind and went for the spot opposite it since it would be easier to get out and ended up right on the line. But it was 7:30 in the morning and the lot was all but empty and I was only going to be a few minutes so I didn't worry about it. Of course there were 3 more cars there by the time I left. Oops
                      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                      • #12
                        I've always wanted to write a note to someone who's parked like an asshat full of apologies about the big scratch I left in their car. But if they'd been parked reasonably, I'd have missed it entirely.

                        I've never had the time and opportunity together to do it, though.

                        ^-.-^
                        Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                        • #13
                          I've been a long time lurker and have directed several people to this site. Gotta give some back. Check out this website - sooo many jack@$$es out there.

                          http://www.youparklikeanasshole.com

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                            Mom had a theory about this--it's always people with fancy cars parking so retarded, so that nobody that park in the space next to them and ding their doors.
                            My dad still does that with his Mustang. Either that or he parks out in Egypt and walks half a mile to the store.
                            "several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years."
                            -FSTDT

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                            • #15
                              Quoth ContraCorriente View Post
                              My dad still does that with his Mustang. Either that or he parks out in Egypt and walks half a mile to the store.
                              The second part isn't so bad. Hey, if you love your car and don't want the baby to be boobooed, that's the way to go.

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