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This tune goes to 12 days of Christmas or 12 pains of Christmas. Whichever you want.
The first thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
is asking for their ID
The second thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The third thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Shoplifters
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The fourth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
People who want discounts
Shoplifters
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The fifth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Five different coupons!
People who want discounts
Shoplifters
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The sixth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Dealing with hagglers
Five different coupons!
People who want discounts
Shoplifters
These damn declined checks!
and asking for their ID
The seventh thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Answering stupid questions
Dealing with hagglers
Five different coupons!
Why can't I get a discount?
I've never seen that before
It can't be overdrawn, that's impossible
and asking for their ID
The eighth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Mommy, I want the Batman car. Mommy!
There are no transparent domes around the mannequins!
I'll pay you ten bucks for it
Five different coupons!
But, I'm your best customer!
Aw, come on! I didn't do anything!
Well, try it again!
and asking for their ID
The ninth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Running out of a product
Daddy! Buy me some candy!
You can't charge your iPod with your cell phone charger!
All right, how about fifteen bucks?
Five different coupons!
Can't I get a seniors discount?
What are you calling the cops for?
Look, just call the bank. They'll fix it!
and asking for their ID
The tenth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Trying to do returns
But, you had it yesterday!
Mom! I want some cookies now!
You need to plug your mouse into the computer!
Twenty then! Twenty bucks!
Five different coupons!
You have to give me a discount. I'm on welfare!
Can't we pretend this never happened!
I won't call the bank! You call them!
and asking for their ID
The eleventh thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Impatient customers
I didn't know you needed a receipt for a refund!
Well, could you check the back
Buy me the Mermaid Barbie Doll!
A DVD will not run in a VCR!
Geez, you people are persistant. Alright, 25 bucks!
Five different coupons!
I don't care if it's already on sale! Give me a discount!
I was only going to borrow it!
You can't decline my check! That's illegal!
and asking for their ID
The twelveth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Leaving items on the floor
Can't this line go any faster?!
Store credit only?!
You are a poorly stocked business!
That mean clerk yelled at me and told me to stop climbing the shelves!
I seriously doubt aliens are ringing your doorbell in Morse code
30 dollars and that's my last offer!
Five different coupons!
If you won't give me a discount, then I'm not buying this crap!
Just because I was hiding it in my coat, doesn't mean I was going to steal it!
So what if I don't have enough money?! Just run it through anyway!
and asking for their ID!
Hope you enfoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this!
The first thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
is asking for their ID
The second thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The third thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Shoplifters
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The fourth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
People who want discounts
Shoplifters
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The fifth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Five different coupons!
People who want discounts
Shoplifters
Declined checks
and asking for their ID
The sixth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Dealing with hagglers
Five different coupons!
People who want discounts
Shoplifters
These damn declined checks!
and asking for their ID
The seventh thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Answering stupid questions
Dealing with hagglers
Five different coupons!
Why can't I get a discount?
I've never seen that before
It can't be overdrawn, that's impossible
and asking for their ID
The eighth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Mommy, I want the Batman car. Mommy!
There are no transparent domes around the mannequins!
I'll pay you ten bucks for it
Five different coupons!
But, I'm your best customer!
Aw, come on! I didn't do anything!
Well, try it again!
and asking for their ID
The ninth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Running out of a product
Daddy! Buy me some candy!
You can't charge your iPod with your cell phone charger!
All right, how about fifteen bucks?
Five different coupons!
Can't I get a seniors discount?
What are you calling the cops for?
Look, just call the bank. They'll fix it!
and asking for their ID
The tenth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Trying to do returns
But, you had it yesterday!
Mom! I want some cookies now!
You need to plug your mouse into the computer!
Twenty then! Twenty bucks!
Five different coupons!
You have to give me a discount. I'm on welfare!
Can't we pretend this never happened!
I won't call the bank! You call them!
and asking for their ID
The eleventh thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Impatient customers
I didn't know you needed a receipt for a refund!
Well, could you check the back
Buy me the Mermaid Barbie Doll!
A DVD will not run in a VCR!
Geez, you people are persistant. Alright, 25 bucks!
Five different coupons!
I don't care if it's already on sale! Give me a discount!
I was only going to borrow it!
You can't decline my check! That's illegal!
and asking for their ID
The twelveth thing of customers that's such a pain to me:
Leaving items on the floor
Can't this line go any faster?!
Store credit only?!
You are a poorly stocked business!
That mean clerk yelled at me and told me to stop climbing the shelves!
I seriously doubt aliens are ringing your doorbell in Morse code
30 dollars and that's my last offer!
Five different coupons!
If you won't give me a discount, then I'm not buying this crap!
Just because I was hiding it in my coat, doesn't mean I was going to steal it!
So what if I don't have enough money?! Just run it through anyway!
and asking for their ID!
Hope you enfoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this!
Of course, the strangest one I've heard was the guy who thought aliens were contacting him by ringing his doorbell in morse code. 
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