Shoplifting Stories

[StevieJD]

Top speed of my scooter is 10 kilometres per hour on flat smooth surfaces. Anything that goes faster than that has laws about registration and whatnot: most mobility scooters/powered wheelchairs in Aussieland are 10kph max.

10k = 6mph.

Now I know for sure what charge the PD could have added to our local dim bulb.

Dim Bulb got drunk and was driving on 6 lane surface street that is also a US Highway. 55mph speed limit. Dim Bulb was not in the slow lane either.

PD could have busted him for going too slow and used his slow speed as PC for pulling him over.

The Dim Bulbs scummy lawyer was trying to plead that the local PD had no cause to pull Dim Bulb over and give Dim Bulb a field sobriety test. Judge laughed that excuse out of the court room.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Shoplifter # 1:
We then crack up when we realize she left her purse hanging from her wheelchair! We called the police, and they tracked her down and arrested her.

FAIL

Shoplifter # 2:
She didn't even run, just walked right to her car parked in front

FAIL

Shoplifter # 3:
"I can't believe you stole, you know better than that" and slaps him. Guess who gets taken away for child abuse and shoplifting?

EPIC FAIL!

Shoplifter # 4:
Why oh why would you bring the 6 tag back to me? Why not take 6 items in and try to steal 1?

[/QUOTE]

FAIL

[GingerBiscuit]

An old colleague of mine told me this-

An old lady once stole a large bag of pecans from our store. This was back when we did kilo bags of pecans- quite expensive considering a 400g bag is about £6. Now my collleaugue is just coming off shift as she does it and sees her. SHe's going home in her uniform, as she's left her normal clothes at home and happens to find herself at the same bus-stop as the old lady. At which point she leans over, says nicely- 'you going to take those pecans back now, ma'am?' and grins.

It worked.

[mattm04]

We had one lady try to steal a basket full of meet. She ran out the door. Considently we had call the cops a few minutes earlier to get some trespassing skateboarders off premesis. Well she literally ran into the passenger side of the car, right behind the back door. She was so stunned to have run in the car that she didn't even have to move to get cuffed, searched and stuffed in the back seat. Even customers who saw it were laughing.

[Alexandra]

Once when I worked at Wal-Mart, I heard of a shoplifter that had been caught the night before. Found a lot of stuff on her...and "in" her.

Let's just say she gave birth to a shampoo bottle....

[Becks]

Let's just say she gave birth to a shampoo bottle....

Please tell me they didn't put it back out on the shelf.

[LambChop]

Shoplifting thankfully isn't a problem where I work currently but at one of my previous jobs at Computer America (name changed for privacy, but I'm sure you can guess) we had a real doozy once.

Firstly, it's the middle of June and it's about 96 degrees outside. In walk these two 20 somethings who're wearing long trenchcoats (Mistake #1). Suspicion meter certainly jumps into the high reds. So my Ops Manager 'V' sends me over to "help them out with anything they need." I could tell by the tone of his voice he meant "watch them like a f*cking hawk."

So I find them over by the Xbox display. The following exchange went something like this:

SC1=Stupid Customer 1
SC2=SC1's buddy.
Me

Me: Hey there fellas. I see you're checking out the Xbox there. Anything I can help you-
SC1: I don't know why you're hasselin' us man, we're not trying to steal anything.
(Mistake #2)
SC2: Yeah!
Me: *biggest, cheesiest grin I can muster, my suspicions quite confirmed* And who said you were, sir? I was just seeing if I could help you guys with anything.
SC1: *pauses* Well we're fine right now so why don't you just leave us alone, m'kay?
(Mistake #3. Keeping track?)
SC2: Yeah, we're just looking for now.
Me: *continues with cheesy grin, positive they're up to something now. I got a pretty quick idea of how to handle it* Oh that's just fine, sirs, I have no problem with that. But my manager wants me to offer the best customer service I can so how about this? I'm gonna stand right over there, *points to the endcap directly behind them*, and if you two need -anything-, just turn around and I'll be right there for ya. *walks 3 steps behind them and stands, still grinning*

It was at this point they start talking quietly amongst themselves for a moment. I'll give you 3 guesses what they were discussing, and the first 2 don't count. They talk, look back at me, talk some more, play the Xbox, look back at me, talk some more, etc. This went on for at least 10 minutes and the whole time I was simply standing there, grinning like an idiot. At one point, I even glanced over at V who simply nodded, giving me a big thumbs up. So finally, having realized I wasn't letting up, one of 'em mutters 'f*ck it' and they both leave. Afterwards, I went over to V and told him what they said. He got a real good laugh out it.

Moral of the story? If you're planning to steal something, try not to tell an employee you're "not going to steal anything."

[cinema guy]

Gives a new meaning to the gynacologist saying, "I can see the head and shoulders."

[HYHYBT]

What amazes me in these stories is how the person in the wheelchair all of a sudden gets up and runs away....I guess the wheelchair was just for a prop?

No, it's a miracle! Who *wouldn't* take a trip to jail in exchange for being able to use their legs again?

[Boochan]

Most of our shoplifting issues come from "regulars", just groups of youths who scour the store for anything they can take that isn't crap. We've pretty much banned them from the store mind you, I haven't seen them in a few months so thats a lucky thing really.

Anyways, some replies.

At the Deb shop, young teen mothers (or just mothers in general, but since it catered to mostly young girls) would stuff things in their strollers or hide it under the baby or something like that. Pretty pathetic.

Very common in our store.. again its not really teen mothers, but ones you can tell are just trash. You can't put much into a stroller, and it was quite obvious when theirs merchandise sticking out of it.. one was smart enough to look from a different view to see if we could see it, and well needless to say some stuff ended up back on the shelf that came out of the strollers. Others we wouldn't have entire proof, but it was normally just really petty, stupid stuff that costs us nothing (i.e Cables, tools, occasionally they' take something off display like an ipod speaker or something, but nothing >$100).

About the Gophers/Carts that these elderly zoom in, I always find it funny (since we are right at the entrance of a mall) when you see them just zoom past indoors. Theirs also ones that bother me that can obviously walk around, but are just too slack. They park their things at the front of our store, and pretty much scream to be served, or just make hand gestures for us to get over their and hand serve them.. a bit much, but to get them out id rather just serve then have to deal with someone that could run me over..