Yet another poor soul was so desperate for their caffeine fix, they decided to heck with paying parking meters or getting a permit, Imma' jus' gon' park right here because it's the closest I can get to the Starbucks without actually driving through the front doors and pulling up along the counter inside to within arms-reach of the barrista.
Well, to nobody's surprise, but his, that got my attention, since there's nowhere on the sign he parked in front of that says anything about that particular parking lot being "Permit Only EXCEPT for those jonesin' for a double mocha" Well, I think those of you in the audience know where THIS story is going, and it ain't Anaheim, Azusa, or Kookamonga.
Yep, out comes Mr Java....
"Hey! Hey! what the hell!?"
"You can't park here without a permit, private lot"
"I was just getting a coffee, it was like ONE MINUTE"
"Takes longer than that for me to hook up, so no, it wasn't"
"Why are you wagging your head at me!?"
"Excuse me?"
"You're bobbing your head at me when you talk! I don't appreciate being MOCKED!"
"Huh?"
"You are MOCKING me and it's RUDE! Hasn't anyone ever told you not to make fun of people?!"
"Honestly, I had no idea I was doing it, if I was, I guess that's just the way I am."
I got the Glare-of-Death (tm) for the rest of the encounter, but he at least paid at that point and went off to pester someone else.
I think I can declare two things for certain in the wake of this encounter.
One, that was the most original insult this year, I've never been accused of being a mocker before, and I always appreciate those who spice it up a little, you can only hear "asshole" so many times before you get as desensitized to it in both word and image as a guy working the prep line in a poultry plant somewhere between the "pluck" and "skin" stages...
Two, I can only imagine how he might feel when "Free bobble-head night" rolls around at the ballpark.
Well, that was fun! Now I'm off to see if I can cajole the public into coming up with more creatively derisive terms for me, $5 says I can get at least someone to call be a "Bolshevik" this year!
Well, to nobody's surprise, but his, that got my attention, since there's nowhere on the sign he parked in front of that says anything about that particular parking lot being "Permit Only EXCEPT for those jonesin' for a double mocha" Well, I think those of you in the audience know where THIS story is going, and it ain't Anaheim, Azusa, or Kookamonga.
Yep, out comes Mr Java....
"Hey! Hey! what the hell!?"
"You can't park here without a permit, private lot"
"I was just getting a coffee, it was like ONE MINUTE"
"Takes longer than that for me to hook up, so no, it wasn't"
"Why are you wagging your head at me!?"
"Excuse me?"
"You're bobbing your head at me when you talk! I don't appreciate being MOCKED!"
"Huh?"
"You are MOCKING me and it's RUDE! Hasn't anyone ever told you not to make fun of people?!"
"Honestly, I had no idea I was doing it, if I was, I guess that's just the way I am."
I got the Glare-of-Death (tm) for the rest of the encounter, but he at least paid at that point and went off to pester someone else.
I think I can declare two things for certain in the wake of this encounter.
One, that was the most original insult this year, I've never been accused of being a mocker before, and I always appreciate those who spice it up a little, you can only hear "asshole" so many times before you get as desensitized to it in both word and image as a guy working the prep line in a poultry plant somewhere between the "pluck" and "skin" stages...
Two, I can only imagine how he might feel when "Free bobble-head night" rolls around at the ballpark.
Well, that was fun! Now I'm off to see if I can cajole the public into coming up with more creatively derisive terms for me, $5 says I can get at least someone to call be a "Bolshevik" this year!
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