Dumbest thing an ex ever said

[Jester]

From That Vile Woman: "No, I'm not sleeping with him."
She said that a lot.
She lied a lot.

"how much does an abortion cost?".

To be perfectly fair, there are situations where someone might need an abortion and the person seeking the price is not the party responsible for the pregnancy. No, I am sure this was not the case with your ex, but I am not merely speaking in abstracts and theoreticals, I am speaking from experience, as this actually happened to me.

When I was 17 and a senior in (my third) high school, I started dating a lovely young junior. Shortly after we started dating, she discovered she was pregnant from her previous boyfriend. We knew it wasn't mine for the very simple reason that I had not had the pleasure. (Never did with her, actually.) But, as I was 17, had just saved up a bunch of money from working my ass off and having no social life during my junior year of (my second) high school, I decided to be A Real Nice Guy (or really stupid, take your pick) and offered to pay for the abortion she wanted. She said she'd pay me back, and I told her not to worry about it, as I didn't ever want to see the money. I meant it, too. She did get the abortion, and while she regretted it somewhat on a personal level, she never actually blamed me for it. I had merely helped her achieve what she had already decided upon.

For those who are wondering, this is the girl I have referred to on this site in the past as The Enchantress, who was my First Love. And as I said, you can call it stupid, paying for someone else's abortion when you are not the responsible party, but I didn't regret it then and I never have since. And if you think it IS stupid, remember....I AM the guy that often refers to himself as a blithering idiot.

Sorry for the tangent....back to stupid things our exes have said!

[cashierbex]

My recent ex/roommate I can write a whole 5 book series about. So, I will not get into that.

My first ex, on the other hand:

She started some shit (or tried to) with a couple of people I just met. This was a few years after we broke up. She tells them how the recent ex and I (when we were dating) hated them and thought badly of them. Thankfully they didn't believe her. I confronted her on FB chat and she goes "I don't know why I said it. I didn't mean to". Fucking cunt, took her off my friends list for good and I don't see her much except every great once in a while while I'm working and she buys smokes.

[MadMike]

I could write several books on my ex, but this is the one that stands out in my mind, and something that should have told me that trouble was ahead...

It was shortly after she moved into my apartment. I came home from work, and she told me that she didn't feel like cooking (she rarely did), and that she wanted to go out to eat.

Me: We can't. I'm broke.

Her: Just use your credit card.

Me: I can't. It's over the limit.

Her: Can't you use it anyway?

[tropicsgoddess]

It wasn't what the asshole said, it was the list he handed he handed me on our one and only date. It was a list of what he demanded from his future wife. It was the one and only time I dated a Pentecostal preacher.

What a misogynistic asshat.

[Cookie]

It was a list of what he demanded from his future wife. It was the one and only time I dated a Pentecostal preacher.<snip>

I sadly know people who think this way. Thankfully, I learned better before I ended up with one of them!

I spotted a typo. Hope you don't mind.

Rapscallion

You are awesome.

[Jester]

She started some shit (or tried to) with a couple of people I just met.

Thank you for reminding me about one of (if not) the worst things That Vile Woman (my worst girlfriend ever) ever did. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why this one couple who was friends with her would be so antagonistic to me when they came into the bar, as I had done nothing even vaguely wrong to them. And it got even worse when the wife started working at The Bar with me. She was just vicious. Many, many months after the shit hit the fan with That Vile Woman, though, I found out the truth. Turns out she had told that couple that I had actually been physically abusive to her while we were dating.



I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I have hit a total of two women in my life: my older sister and my younger sister. And I have yet to meet anyone that has a problem with this.

This was not an exaggeration of something that actually happened, this was a bald-faced lie told to turn people against me. I can only imagine how many people she told this to that I didn't find out about that held it against me for years, and may still hold it against me.

Have I ever raised my hand in anger because of a woman? Yes. And I raised it to grab the doorknob of the front door so I could get the fuck out of there and cool off and/or get away from the situation that was making me crazy. And that was about it. Five years later, this lie STILL gets me steamed.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Me, admitting to one fellow that I had once had a crush on a college classmate which I'd abandoned after finding out said classmate was in a happy relationship. This classmate was black and blind.

Boyfriend: You had a crush on him??

Me: Well, yeah, but he was already seeing someone so I never acted on it.

Boyfriend: But he's blind! And...black!

Me: ...and?

Yeah, that...that conversation didn't go anywhere nice after that.

[JoitheArtist]

Ok, this will require some backstory.

When I was 17, I started dating a guy online. This was '99/'00, so that was still a little unusual at the time. This was also my first relationship, and I was a little bit dumb about it.

Fuckweasel Ex (hereafter FWE) was a few years older than I was, had never held a job, never went to college, lived with his parents, and was a drummer. (I know, but like I said, I was a little stupid here.) We bonded over talking about music, books, movies, etc. FWE was one of the first geeks I knew, and for a VERY lonely isolated geek girl in a small rural town, that was heady stuff. We were also prone to bouts of depression, and bonded over that as well.

We "dated" for a week, then FWE confessed that he'd had phone sex with another woman during that time, and we broke up. I was completely devastated, since this was the first guy who'd EVER returned my affections. I assumed the problem was with me. A week later, we got back together. At least twice, that I remember, he confessed to cheating on me with women in his town. FWE put on a big act of talking about how he "wasn't good enough" for me, and how he'd understand if I didn't want him anymore, blah blah blah. I fell for it both times, forgave him, was the ever-so-loyal girlfriend.

Then one day, out of the blue, he dumped me. Why? Apparently, he "couldn't deal" with MY "mood swings" anymore.

The jackass later had the nerve to invite me to his wedding to the girl he dumped me for (I didn't go: I wasn't THAT stupid.) and tried to keep being "friends." I finally got slightly less stupid and blocked him from every social network.

But, really. MY mood swings???? Lying cheating fuckweasel...

[MadMike]

Turns out she had told that couple that I had actually been physically abusive to her while we were dating.

I guess I should consider myself lucky that my ex never tried anything like that with me, at least that I know of.

She did, however, blow a lot of things out of proportion, or make claims that weren't even remotely true. I remember one time, shortly after our son was born, we were visiting her parents. She started in on how I was supposedly getting drunk the whole time she was pregnant. I did like to have a couple beers regularly, but I rarely got drunk. In fact, with her running up the bills and not working, I couldn't have afforded to get drunk even if I did want to.

Before I even had a chance to defend myself, her little sister -- who is like the sister I never had -- jumped in and said, "That's probably the only way he could put up with you!" I wanted to hug her right then and there, but I figured I was probably already going to get screamed at when we got home. And I probably did, I don't remember.

[Racket_Man]

I am too tired (as I just got home from a close shift) to list all of the ridiculus things that my Ex did and said for a period of 3 years (and unfortunately I let her get away with until it got to be too much) before the marriage actually imploded for good.

I think I have detailed some stiuations over at Fratching.

[Akasa]

I was working 60 hour work weeks, he wasn't working. I'd come home and want to veg and he'd get on me calling me a pig because the house was a mess.

Clean it your damned self! I'M working 60 hours a week.

[gremcint]

I've never really dated but my sister has, this one was special (and still is) this happened after they broke up and became friends (she was his maid of honor at his gay wedding, sorry but that's fun to say) we were working on a proposal to give to his work for a project. I look at what he's typed, every sentence is it's own paragraph with three periods each. I fix it up and make it actually look good. He looks over what I wrote and drops this bomb that stops me in my tracks: "you know you're supposed to start a new line after every sentence right?"

[Gravekeeper]

Along similar veins with my ex. Moved in with me into my 1 bedroom apartment. Broke up with her 3 months later. 5 minutes after the fact she asked:

"Oh, can I still live here?"

[Raveni]

3 dumbest things my ex ever said to me were on the phone (coincidentally in reverse chronological order):

"You ruined my life!" (She did have to spend some time in a mental hospital, drop out of her ivy leauge college, and move back in with her parents, but I'm okay with that)

"I don't understand why there is an ambulance outside and firemen pounding on my door..." (because I couldn't find the phone number for the police department in your city - it was before Google)

"I just took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Do you think I need to take more to kill myself, or is that enough?"

[Andara Bledin]

He had the nerve to ask her for her engagement ring so he could propose to the slut he cheated on my Oldest with

Wow. Classy. Sorry, asshole, but you gave her the ring so it's hers. You want it back, you can buy it back.

Thankfully, I only have one ex and he and I are still pretty good friends.

^-.-^