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Take-Home Buffet, by TonyDonuts

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  • Take-Home Buffet, by TonyDonuts

    onyDonuts
    Newbie
    (7/29/03 6:38 pm)
    Re: Buffets
    Get comfy kids, it's a long story.

    This happened at an Old Country Buffet here in town five or six years ago. The dialog is approximate. I was sitting near the registers, eating (I didn't work there), when I saw a couple walk in.

    Heavy set.

    Dirty jeans.

    Country-western tee-shirts.

    And dragging in what had to be a 60-quart Coleman cooler.

    The manager asked them if they'd like to leave it at the front counter so it wouldn't take up space at their table. And probably was wondering, and probably suspecting, why they had brought the crazy thing in.

    "We need it for our left overs!" the woman replied, rather forcefully.

    "Um, you can't take food out of here, you have to eat it here."

    "Well," says the man, "your sign don't say that, so if we want to load up this here cooler, you can't stop us."

    The manager turns to the cashier, tells her to hand him the amount they had paid, he handed the money to the man, and said, "I think you should leave, now."

    The man gets very belligerant, "I know the law, you can't throw us out just 'cause we found a loophole in your system."

    The manager stares at them both for almost a full minute, reaches behind the counter and pulls out a cordless phone. he dialled a number and then held it to his ear.

    "Who you callin', your lawyer?" said the man, with a sneer in his voice.

    "No," said the manager, "the cops. I'm having you busted for trespassing."

    "WHAT!"

    "I've asked you to leave, you refused, so I'm calling the cops and having you busted for trespassing."

    "You CAN'T do that. I know the law!"

    "I can do anything I want to. You tried to defraud my company, I called you on it, and you got belligerant. Enjoy your trip downtown."

    The conversation went back and forth in this vein until the cops showed up. They informed the couple, in no uncertain terms (but not unkindly, they spoke as though they were talking to very small, very backward children) that what they were trying to do was unacceptable behavior for adults in public, and that if they did not leave voluntarily they would leave INvoluntarily.

    Eventually they accepted that they had NOT found a loophole in the system and left. Shouting threats of legal action against the restaurant, the m
    Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

  • #2
    Quoth HYHYBT
    Eventually they accepted that they had NOT found a loophole in the system and left. Shouting threats of legal action against the restaurant, the m
    Is there any more? The story cut off in the middle of a word.
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    My LiveJournal
    A page we can all agree with!

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    • #3
      Oh yeah, I remember this one.
      "I don't have an anger problem I have an idiot problem!" - Hank Hill

      When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt, run around in little circles, wave your arms and shout!

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      • #4


        If 60 quarts is a big as I think it is, then we're talking at least 10 trips to the buffet to fill it.
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #5
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh


          If 60 quarts is a big as I think it is, then we're talking at least 10 trips to the buffet to fill it.
          60 quarts IS as big as you think it is-they would be eating like kings for a week straight!

          I don't remember this story, but I have been curious to see what kind of reaction I'd get if I brought in a Tupperware container and started to fill it for lunch tomorrow. I sort of assumed that it would be a similar reaction given by the manager-except, I thought that it would be concidered "Theft", since technically, I only paid for all I could eat, and this was more than what I could eat.
          I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

          Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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          • #6
            Well, you could always argue that you stopped eating before you'd eaten all you can eat, and just put the rest in the tupperware...
            You gotta polish a memory like a stone. Chip off the parts that remind you it was just a game. Work it until it's indistinguishable from any other memory.

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